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Parents
share the dream of raising children who are healthy, compassionate,
independent, and happy. And most importantly, they
must love and
value themselves—not just for what they look like or achieve,
but for the very
essence of who they are.
Many
aspects of modern society harm our children and cause them to become
overly
focused on superficialities. After
all,
the media reveres beauty, wealth, and fame—while wisdom,
character, and compassion,
are often overlooked. We’re
understandably concerned about children who have a poor self concept,
struggle
to succeed in school, are clumsy, or have poor social skills.
But
children who are unusually attractive, bright, athletic, charming or
well-behaved can also be at risk if they become overly attached to an
image
that is based on other people’s reactions. Unable to be
carefree and true to
their own nature, they become overly-anxious as they continually try to
portray
an image that pleases the people that are important to them. The
“A” student who falls apart when he does poorly on
a single assignment, the perfect
child who becomes distraught when mildly reprimanded, or the older
child who
won’t go to school because she doesn’t have the
right clothes, are all
revealing that they are overly dependent on their external image and
the
reactions of others. Constant
activities and overstimulation are also detrimental to a
child’s well
being. But
when
children suppress their emotions in order to cope, they pay a steep
price,
becoming out of touch with their true selves, their true nature and
wholeness. Emotions
lead us to our core self and are a built in monitor that lets us know
if all is
well. It’s
very important to start planting the seeds of inner value early. The
negative
impact of society’s narcissistic attitudes, the media, and
overstimulation can
negatively impact children as young as three or four years of
age—and the
associated problems are likely to snowball. An
older child or teen that is out of touch with his true self will be
susceptible
to the influence of peers, gangs and cults, as he continually aims to
please whoever
is currently shaping his identity. In contrast, a child who has a sense
of his
true inner value is resilient. He strives to achieve his goals but
because he
knows that he is more than what he does or how he appears, his mistakes
and difficulties
aren’t overwhelming; instead, they provide opportunities to
learn and
grow. Ways
to
Nurture a Child’s Inner Value:
♦
Have time without the television, video games, or computer. (As a
defense children
may cope by deadening their senses
and denying their feelings.) ♦
Be sure your child has unstructured alone time…to relax,
play freely, and
♦
Teach and have your child practice relaxation skills such as
progressive
♦
Participate in, and appreciate the arts: Listen to beautiful music,
dance,
sing,
♦
Practice slow sustained stretches and movement such as yoga or tai chi. ♦
Spend time in nature and teach your child to have reverence for every
living
♦
Encourage your child to tell you how he feels.♦
Help others.
♦
Express gratitude.
♦
Avoid bragging about and labeling your child. your
child’s accomplishments. ♦
Avoid over praising. but over
praising can discourage a child
from finding the value in what he does
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About the author:
Dubbed "The Dream Maker" by People magazine, Patti Teel is a former teacher and the author of The Floppy Sleep Game Book , which gives parents techniques to help their children relax or fall asleep. She holds Dream Academy workshops at schools, hospitals and libraries across the country where parents and children learn the playful relaxation techniques from her book and widely acclaimed children's audio series. Children at the Dream Academy workshops practice the three R's by resting their bodies, relaxing their minds, and refreshing their spirits. Visit her online at www.pattiteel.com.
The Floppy Sleep Game Book
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