April Fools Jokes

These April fool jokes are sure to freak

I need to tell you about your car....

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have. --

April Fools

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions. --

April Fools

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it. --

April Fools

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. --

April Fools

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him. --

April Fools

Cut and paste and send out as an email to friends on April 1-- April Fools Day

STUDY ON PICKLES

Every pickle you eat brings you nearer to death. Amazingly, the "thinking man" has failed to grasp the terrifying significance of the term, "in a pickle." Although leading horticulturists have long known that Cucmis sativus possesses an indehiscent pepo, the pickle industry continues to expand.

Pickles are associated with all the major diseases of the body. For example, nearly all sick people have eaten pickles. The effects are obviously cumulative:

Evidence points to the long-term effects of pickle-eating: Of all the people born in 1839 who later dined on pickles, there has been a 100% mortality rate. All pickle-eaters born between 1889 and 1899 have wrinkled skin, have lost most of their teeth, have brittle bones and failing eyesight--if the ills of eating pickles have not already caused their death.

Even more convincing is the report of a noted team of medical specialists. Rats forced-fed with 20 pounds of pickles per day for 30 days developed bulging abdomens. Their appetites for wholesome food were destroyed.

In spite of all the evidence, pickle growers and packers continue to spread their evil. More than 120,000 acres of fertile U S soil are devoted to growing pickles. Our per capita consumption is nearly four pounds.

April fools!

Jokes-- April Fools- Jokes
Quotes from accident reports
submitted to various Insurance companies:

Coming home,
I drove into the wrong house
and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine
without giving warning of its intentions.

I thought my window was down,
but found it was up
when I put my hand through it.

I collided with a stationary truck
coming the other way.

The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times
before I hit him.

I pulled away from the side of the road,
glanced at my motherinlaw,
and headed over the embankment.

In my attempt to kill a fly,
I drove into a telephone pole.

I had been driving for 40 years
when I fell asleep at the wheel
and had the accident.

To avoid hitting the bumper
of the car in front,
I struck the pedestrian.

My car was legally parked
as it backed into the other vehicle.

An invisible car came out of nowhere,
struck my vehicle and vanished.

I told the police that I was not injured,
but on removing my hat,
I found that I had a fractured skull.

I was sure the old fellow
would never make it
to the other side of the road
when I struck him.

The pedestrian
had no idea which direction to run,
so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident
was a little guy in a small car
with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road.
I was later found in a ditch
by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching.
I was attempting to swerve out of its way,
when it struck my front end.

I was unable to stop in time
and my car crashed into the other vehicle.
The driver and passengers then left immediately
for vacation with injuries.

WRAP IT UP!

I sat down next to a guy in the doctor's office. He was covered with bandages. "Have an accident?" I asked. "No thanks, I just had one," he replied. (Two thousand comedians out of work and I have to sit by this guy).

MAGIC

The magican wrote on his accident report, I was driving down the street And turned into a tree.