car with bumper stickersBy Cherly Moeller – Family Funny Stuff – 

As Moms we spend a lot of time in the car. In fact, studies show we will spend 12 years of our life behind the wheel, six of which will be spent with our head turned away from traffic telling our kids in the back seat to please settle down before we have an accident.

Undoubtedly, as our kids get older they start reading the bumper stickers on cars and trucks in front of them. We then enter the phase of life where we have to start answering questions like, “How come you never make daddy eat whirled peas?” “Mommy, what does it mean to visualize whirled peas?”

 Explaining the meaning of bumper stickers to young children can at times be a challenge to one’s nerves. For example, let’s say you are following a bread truck that boasts in big, bold letters on a bumper sticker, “How am I driving? Call 1-800-272-8800.”

“Mommy, can I use your cell phone? The man driving the truck in front of us wants us to call him and tell him how he’s driving.”

“No, dear. It doesn’t mean he wants to talk to us. We’re supposed to call his boss and tell him if he’s driving bad.”

“Really? Is his boss riding in the front seat right next to him?”

“No, he’s probably back at an office somewhere.”

“If he’s not in the front seat, how can he help the man drive better?”

“Look my love, if someone reports him driving badly, then his boss will call the man and tell him to drive better.”

“But I thought you told us its a bad idea to talk on your cell phone while you’re driving. If his boss calls him, the driver will answer his cell phone and maybe get in an accident. And then it would be be the boss’ fault. So why don’t you call his boss and tell him not to call the driver so he doesn’t make the man get in an accident?”

“Dear, the boss will probably wait until the driver got back to the office and then tell him he was driving badly.”

“But then it’s too late, Mommy. The man wouldn’t be driving anymore. It’s like the time you told me not to feed Doritos and dish soap to my gold fish. By the time you told me not to do that they were already acting kind of funny.”

“If the driver gets scolded by his boss for driving badly then he will remember to drive better the next time.”

“But, what if the driver’s big brother calls and decides to play a trick on his little brother and tells his boss his little brother is driving crazy right now?”

“Look, munchkin, I don’t think we need to worry about that happening. No one ever calls those 800 numbers anyway.”

“Do they like just to play make believe? Is that why they put them on trucks.”

“Darling, Mommy is really in some bad traffic. (At this point Mom turns around momentarily to make her point to her young daughter.) I really can’t answer any more questions until we get home.”

“I understand, Mommy. Just one more question, Mommy. Why are there blue and red lights flashing on top of the car right behind us? Are we in a parade?”

As Moms we spend a lot of time in the car. In fact, studies show we will spend 12 years of our life behind the wheel, six of which will be spent with our head turned away from traffic telling our kids in the back seat to please settle down before we have an accident.

Undoubtedly, as our kids get older they start reading the bumper stickers on cars and trucks in front of them. We then enter the phase of life where we have to start answering questions like, “How come you never make daddy eat whirled peas?” “Mommy, what does it mean to visualize whirled peas?”

Explaining the meaning of bumper stickers to young children can at times be a challenge to one’s nerves. For example, let’s say you are following a bread truck that boasts in big, bold letters on a bumper sticker, “How am I driving? Call 1-800-272-8800.”

“Mommy, can I use your cell phone? The man driving the truck in front of us wants us to call him and tell him how he’s driving.”

“No, dear. It doesn’t mean he wants to talk to us. We’re supposed to call his boss and tell him if he’s driving bad.”

“Really? Is his boss riding in the front seat right next to him?”

“No, he’s probably back at an office somewhere.”

“If he’s not in the front seat, how can he help the man drive better?”

“Look my love, if someone reports him driving badly, then his boss will call the man and tell him to drive better.”

“But I thought you told us its a bad idea to talk on your cell phone while you’re driving. If his boss calls him, the driver will answer his cell phone and maybe get in an accident. And then it would be be the boss’ fault. So why don’t you call his boss and tell him not to call the driver so he doesn’t make the man get in an accident?”

“Dear, the boss will probably wait until the driver got back to the office and then tell him he was driving badly.”

“But then it’s too late, Mommy. The man wouldn’t be driving anymore. It’s like the time you told me not to feed Doritos and dish soap to my gold fish. By the time you told me not to do that they were already acting kind of funny.”

“If the driver gets scolded by his boss for driving badly then he will remember to drive better the next time.”

“But, what if the driver’s big brother calls and decides to play a trick on his little brother and tells his boss his little brother is driving crazy right now?”

“Look, munchkin, I don’t think we need to worry about that happening. No one ever calls those 800 numbers anyway.”

“Do they like just to play make believe? Is that why they put them on trucks.”

“Darling, Mommy is really in some bad traffic. (At this point Mom turns around momentarily to make her point to her young daughter.) I really can’t answer any more questions until we get home.”

“I understand, Mommy. Just one more question, Mommy. Why are there blue and red lights flashing on top of the car right behind us? Are we in a parade?”

 

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Cheryl Moeller


So who is so funny that she is causing laughter in audiences everywhere?

Cheryl Moeller cranks up the spin cycle on her washing machine and life to help parents cope with too much laundry, raising preschoolers (on 12 hours of sleep per year), surviving teenagers, pleasing relatives, understanding spouses, and the 1,000 other challenges. She uses her over-the-counter humor to make parents laugh until it feels better.

Cheryl is a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a niece, an aunt, a granddaughter, a friend, a volunteer... well you get the idea. Let.s just say she.s a lot like you and has decided the best way for us all to cope is to laugh (don't try to inhale at the same time, it only makes matters worse).

Cheryl is a wiife to Robert for 28 years. Mother to Duke, Missy, Pooka, Skippy, Megs and Kenzie. One dog - Katie. One fish - Skyler. Two gerbils - Hannah and Lily. Cheryl cranks up the spin cycle on her dryer and life to help parents cope with too much laundry, raising preschoolers (on 12 hours of sleep per year), surviving teenagers, pleasing relatives, understanding spouses, and the thousand other challenges. Read more of Cheryl's humor at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com
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