SHOW YOUR CHILD YOUR LOVE- DISCIPLINE THEM
Margie Manion
According to a recent Reuters report:
- One Third of American Parents doubt benefits of discipline.
- One in Three parents in the United States and Canada do not think their methods of disciplining their children work well according to a U.S. study.
- Thirty-one percent of 5,000 parents surveyed said they "never" or "sometimes" perceived their methods to be effective.
- Thirty-eight of those reported using the same methods their parents used on them as children.
- Most common form of discipline parents are using time-outs.
-
Forty-one percent are taking away privileges, thirteen percent report yelling, and eight and a half percent claim using spanking.
Discipline is different for every child. I'm also a 3rd grade teacher and often hear parents ask about how their children are acting at school because they are "out of control" at home. It is usually not the case at school b/c of the difference in discipline, consequences and environment. Or it is "out of control" at school and not at home for the same reasons.
Sometimes parents keep using the same discipline method even though they know it isn't working because they are having a hard time taking control of their own children or because it is easier. Discipline is a difficult job, but it is also showing love.
Tips for effective disciplining:
1. Everything in Moderation - If you are constantly yelling, spanking, taking away privileges, using time-outs, you loose your effectiveness. (pick your battles)
2. Be Consistent - If the rule is no drinks on the carpet, then there can never be drinks on the carpet. You also need to be consistent with rules and expectations child to child (age-appropriate of course).
3. Be clear - Give the child options ( You are going to clean your room or sit in time-out).
4. Be Firm and Fair - Use good eye-contact, get on the child's level and don't back down. Try to be understanding and talk to your child the way you would like to be talked to.
With all of this being said, remember, it isn't too late! If you feel you have dropped the ball or haven't been following through, sit down and explain that to your kids. Tell them what you would like to start seeing from now on. Our goals for our children, through effective discipline, is not only being safe and nurtured of course, but also being self-disciplined and being able to make good choices even when you are not around!