Church hopping, church shopping, and service attendance that could be regarded as being spotty at best is at an all time high and while there is nothing wrong with kicking a few tires before settling yourself and your family down in a permanent church home, those who make it a habit of moving on when folks get too close need to think again.
With a bit of tongue in cheek humor, here are the top four deadly signs that there are sinners in your church and you might be tempted to move on once more. As Christian parents we know that any time we move, our kids move, and thus we owe it to them to think long and hard before pulling up stakes and tearing apart their friendships.
1. Money Talks
There is more time spent during the service discussing the need for money (in tithes, offerings, gifts, bequests, lunch money, and cash in small, unmarked bills) than there is spent on the communion and singing combined. Don't they know that "you cannot serve both God and money"? (Matthew 6:24 NIV) (It's time to turn tail and run if during the next committee meeting you hear discussions about installing parking meters out in the church parking lot!)
2. Give Me An "A"
The song leader/choir director missed his calling as drill sergeant. Sure, he might not be able to carry a tune in a bucket with ivory enforced handles, but if the notches on his baton are any indication, his singers had better! It appears that the notion pertaining to making "a joyful noise unto God" has gone by the wayside in favor of putting on a Grammy ready performance. (Psalm 66:1 KJV)
3. Give Me An "F"
The preacher has a potty mouth that makes Jeremiah Wright sound downright calm. F-bombs are dropped left, right, and center, and if you're not careful, you might actually step into a steaming pile of other profanities that have been launched from the pulpit. Sure, passion is a preacher's stock in trade, but don't they know that you should "not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths"? (Ephesians 4:29 NIV)
4. The Front Row Seems To Be Reserved
If you are asked for the secret password, need to perform a special handshake, show club ID, and have your retina scanned before you can sit in the front row, the good folks at your local congregation might have become a mite cliquish. Don't they know that you should "not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position"? (Romans 12:16 NIV)
5. There Are People In The Church!
The last but most certainly most damning of the top seven deadly signs that there are sinners in your church is recognized by people sitting in the pews or walking around the building! Don't they know that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God"? (Romans 3:23 NIV) How dare the pastor let people join his church? For that matter, why is he there? Come to think of it, what do you think you are doing here!?!
Confident that I have helped you find the perfect church for your needs, I wish you a worshipful Sunday!
About Sylvia Cochran
 Sylvia Cochran - Christian Parenting Corner and Common Sense Parenting and Parenting By the Book Christian Parenting Book Reviews
Sylvia is a seasoned freelance writer, born and raised in Germany. Having been exposed to a variety of religions and traditions due to travel and study, Sylvia has been a student of the Bible for more than ten years, and has for the last four years taught in small groups about Biblical principles, practical Christianity, Christian parenting, as well as the spiritual use of money. Sylvia also provides Free Online Christian Parenting Courses at Suite 101.
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