Christian Family

1 Samuel 23:16-18 explains a friendship that did offer not only a deepening of character, but also a strengthening in the faith: it outlines Jonathan and David. Help your child learn to evaluate the friends s/he keeps by virtue of their willingness and ability to help her/him find strength in God and be faithful to Him. If the friends tend to lead the child into temptation to make wrong choices, these are not friends to keep.

Gaining Conviction on the Significance of Friendships

John 15:9-17 records the words of Jesus Christ as He explains His friendship with the disciples. A Christian friendship has godly values as a foundation; it is characterized by open acceptance of the other person, but also the occasional attempt to call them higher. In contrast, a person of many acquaintances will lack this depth of friendship and miss important growing opportunities.

As a Christian parent, it is up to you to instill this kind of conviction in your child. The earlier you begin, the more successful you will be.

Nuts and Bolts of Helping Your Child Make and Keep Best Friends

• Model healthy friendships to your child. If you keep company with crude, foulmouthed, loud, and overall questionable characters that do little to keep you on the straight and narrow, it would be a somewhat misplaced expectation of your child to do better.
• Explain what makes Friend A or Friend B such a good friend. Take it deeper than just that s/he is nice, polite, friendly or likes dogs, but instead relate on a heart level with the child. Keep it age appropriate and do not betray any confidences, but at the same time let your child know that Friend A offers you godly help on overcoming a sin or Friend B loves to pray on the phone.
• Introduce your child to your friends. While your friends come to visit you, they should make the acquaintance of your child. This shows to your child that you are proud of your friends and do not feel like they are something that needs to be hidden from the kids. As your children grow older, they have a better chance at returning this favor.
• Explain about friends - without naming names - with which you have parted ways. Once again, keeping it age appropriate, make the situation a teaching opportunity for your child. Perhaps one friend decided to love money more than God; this is a good time to explain about God having to come first in life, even before friends, money and other things.
• Let your child talk through her or his friendships with others. Remember that God gave you two ears but only one mouth for a reason: listen intently and keep comments to a minimum! Sometimes kids just need to talk through their friends and put into words behaviors they like and those that bug them. Be a sounding board, make biblically based suggestions, but do not forbid a friendship! Just like fair weather friends are the low hanging fruit, the lure of forbidden friendship is like the forbidden fruit in paradise: irresistible!

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