From the Christian Parenting Corner

Avoiding Christian Parenting Dogma

Parents, when it comes to dealing with your child, it is between you and God. You cannot, must not, and should not hand off this task to a third party. Yes, the Bible does teach you to obey your leaders and to seek advice from godly men and women (Proverbs 10:13). Yet the Bible also teaches you to ask God for discernment and pray to Him for His guidance and wisdom (James 1:5) and this applies not only to the wisdom of knowing right from wrong in your daily life, but also to the wisdom of applying the advice you have received from others to your own parenting efforts.

Do not sacrifice your parenting success and your godly parenting opportunities at the altar of a misguided and incomplete understanding of obedience!

As it pertains to parenting, there are times when you need to tell your Christian friends to shut up (politely).

• When a certain bit of advice has been offered, but even after persistent prayer there is that insistent nagging in the pit of your stomach that this is not right. Those who are rebellious will not have that nagging; it will be a reflex reaction of not obeying. Thus, do not fear that you are rebellious (well, unless you are) when you question advice offered and instead realize that when you take it to God, He might not agree with what has been offered to you. Thus, if your Christian friends are telling you to spank your rebellious child, but answers to your prayer and supplication are urging you to find a new or additional avenue of disciplining, it could just be from God!


• If you notice patterns in your child's behavior that you believe require the intervention or at least observation of a trained professional, this matter should be taken to God in prayer. Unless you find the hand of God staying you, it might be a worthwhile endeavor. Sadly, many congregants have developed a certain level of hostility toward child psychologists and will warn away parents by saying that they will only need the Bible for sound parenting. While the latter is true, it does not preclude the former. In some cases parents need help applying Christian principles with the help of a psychologist in such a way that they will trickle down to the child's level of understanding.


• Should a physician suggest that a child see a specialist for physiological or behavioral issues, many Christian friends are quick to point out that a prayer chain might be organized. A most certainly worthwhile idea, it does not negate the necessity of following the physician's advice. One of the greatest disservices a parent can do to a child is to not offer the child the medical care needed.

Yet how do you walk on with your child when you feel like you are in island unto yourself? How do you continue to seek advice in your parenting from Christian friends who might be upset that you did not implement to a letter the past advice you have sought from them? Conversely, when you disagree with advice offered and measures suggested, how can you tell your friends that you are choosing a different route?

The answer is simple: tell them to take it to the Lord. If (and only if) you have wrestled with God in prayer about a certain bit of advice offered by a third party and you are certain that God is not nudging you in that direction, you may state honestly and openly that while you took it to God in persistent prayer, you were not able to discern His approval for that course of action. Hence, you are back for more prayer, advice, and help.

About Sylvia Cochran Sylvia Cochran - Christian Parenting Corner and Common Sense Parenting and Parenting By the Book Christian Parenting Book Reviews Sylvia is a seasoned freelance writer, born and raised in Germany. Having been exposed to a variety of religions and traditions due to travel and study, Sylvia has been a student of the Bible for more than ten years, and has for the last four years taught in small groups about Biblical principles, practical Christianity, Christian parenting, as well as the spiritual use of money. Sylvia also provides Free Online Christian Parenting Courses at Suite 101.   Fast forward your reading abilities with these methods. Double, or even triple your reading speed in 28 minutes. Learn the four major techniques to read faster and also reading acceleration practice exercises. Be a speed reader when you’ve finished. More Info   Buy 28 Minutes to Faster Reading - Christian Edition

Comments