Listen to an Interview
with Melodie Tucker
own journey to Mars Venus began in the mid ‘90s during a particularly
“challenging” phase of my marriage. Searching for some help
and answers, I stumbled across Men Are from Mars, Women Are
from Venus, and my life has never been the same. After dog-earing
every Mars Venus book, I discovered the opportunity to share
this life-changing information with others. It was like a
thunderbolt, and I instantly knew relationship education was
my life's calling.
In February 1998, I attended my first training with John Gray
to be certified as a workshop facilitator on personal relationship
skills for couples and singles. My 32-year career in a very
‘Martian' aerospace industry prepared me to help women and
men apply relationship skills in their careers so I became
certified to present Mars Venus workplace seminars as well.
In fact, Dr. Gray acknowledges me in his book “Mars and Venus
in the Workplace” for contributing valuable experience and
feedback. Since the ‘90s, I've shared Mars and Venus concepts
through workshops held in many venues, including cruise ships,
resorts, churches, and for professional women's organizations.
I've also written articles on the Mars Venus Web sites and
made guest appearances on radio to discuss Mars and Venus
The most rewarding aspect of my Mars Venus career, though,
has been as a telephone coach with Ask Mars Venus and now
as a Success Coach with Mars Venus Coaching (
In the past 6 years as a coach, I've had the privilege
to work with hundreds of men and women from all over the world
with every imaginable relationship concern — including issues
on dating, commitment, marriage, infidelity, starting over
after a loss, parenting, workplace issues, and achieving personal
Most importantly, my own marriage is thriving as we celebrate
our 32nd wedding anniversary this year. Learning and applying
the Mars Venus principles was a significant factor in our
ability to achieve this milestone. We are also very proud
of our two daughters, who are now happy and successful adults.
Their experiences, both in the workplace and in the dating
and relationship realms, have benefited greatly from having
their own “private” coach!
My journey is a testament to Dr. Gray's How to Get What You
Want and Want What You Have. When you work with me via workshops/seminars
or coaching, you'll find warm, open-minded, and empathetic
support; understanding without judgment or reprisal; and someone
with a practical and down-to-earth approach to inspire you
to discover your own highest potential in all areas of your
life. Teaching others how to apply Dr. Gray's principles to
their own relationships is the sweetest work in the universe.
Relationship Article Archive
Couples and Relationships: A Marriage Can Grow Stronger After Infidelity
Is compromise weakness
When Women Earn More than Men
Inside Your wife's hard Drive
Mr. fix It
Lack of Sleep Hurting Your Relationship?
Tips for a Romantic Relationship
The Home Improvement Committee
What's the Temperature on Mars and Venus?
A Garden of Love
Scoring Points in the Game of Love
Romance is from Venus, Sex is from Mars
Toys for Mars and Gifts for Venus
Holiday Hopping Hot Buttons
Divorcing The Kids
Marriage Counseling and Family Relationships: Effective Communication Goes Against Human Nature
Tips for Keeping A Warm, Sincere and Romantic Relationship
Marriage Counseling and Family Relationships: Maintaining a Healthy and Loving Relationship
The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads Reveals Ten Secrets to Strengthening a Marriage
How to Get a Man to do Housework
Marriage without Criticism
Is This a Compromise or A Sign?
Luck Won't Make Your Marriage a Success:
Four Benefits of Pre-Marital Counseling
Honor and Respect Your Partner's Feelings As If They Are Your Own
CPR To the Rescue: Part of the Men Moving On -- After Divorce Series
How Do I Know If I Am Over My Divorce? Part of the Men Moving On -- After Divorce Series
Stress Relief on Mars and Venus
By Melodie Tucker
There is no doubt that these troubling times are causing more stress for everyone. On top of the 'normal' stress of work, school, and home responsibilities, we are all now being constantly bombarded by negative news--in the papers, the TV, radio, and on the Internet. Even if your family has personally escaped the current housing, employment, and financial crisis (so far!), chances are you're close to someone who has been severely affected. Fear, worry, and anger pepper the gossip around the water coolers and coffee pots of America . Many businesses are reeling and most people are cutting back on spending and protecting their interests while searching for the light at the end of the tunnel. It seems like we are powerless to stop the onslaught and we long for a safe haven at the end of day. Ah…Home Sweet Home! Or is it?
Stress causes the release of adrenaline and cortisol. These are important hormones to help us in times of emergency or life-threatening situations, but a continuous flow (as many people experience from the consistent drama of modern life) is harmful and counteracts our 'feel-good' hormones. So as we all seek relief from these 'stress' hormone rushes all day long, it's important to recognize how Martians and Venusians process and respond differently so we can best understand and support each other. Research has proven that our brains, biology and hormones are hard-wired uniquely and these differences drive us in separate directions when faced with stress. Although our daily lives and roles have changed tremendously over the past 50 years, our bodies have not. It's no wonder Mars and Venus collide!
When a man is stressed, his normal reaction is to withdraw to figure out solutions alone or if there is no solution, he simply will forget about the problems of his day. He often doesn't want to talk or do much until he has rested. This is why he tends to come home and go right to the bathroom, turn on the computer or TV, or disappear into the garage or the basement…wherever his particular "Cave" happens to be. It's critical for him to have down time to rejuvenate and rebuild the testosterone levels that have been depleted over the course of his day.
Women under stress produce much more cortisol than men , so it's even more damaging. After she comes home after a long hard day, she tends to feel overwhelmed with all the things to do and unable to relax. What she needs first is affection and a caring and empathetic ear to listen to her talk about what is on her mind. In fact, she must remember her problems before she can forget them . Sharing her emotions, feeling heard, validated and cherished allows the much-needed hormone oxytocin to be released in her body so she can let go and relax.
Understanding these concepts lets couples learn how to relate better to each other, and negotiate strategies to make sure each person gets the stress relief they crave. Especially during these tough times, it can be a harsh universe out there. Keep your 'Home Planet' radiating positive energy so it will remain the harbor for love and personal growth.
Melodie Tucker is a Mars Venus Success Coach and Seminar Leader, trained by Dr. John Gray, author of the world famous "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" series. For the past 10 years, she has helped men and women all over the world create great relationships that last. If you'd like more information about this topic, want to learn how you can become a coach, or wish to have personal coaching for your specific situation, please contact her at the email address on her bio at: Melodie Tucker.