Melodie
Tucker, Success
Coach melodietucker@marsvenuscoaching.com
Office:
321-459-1399
Listen to an Interview
with Melodie Tucker
My
own journey to Mars Venus began in the mid ‘90s during a particularly
“challenging” phase of my marriage. Searching for some help
and answers, I stumbled across Men Are from Mars, Women Are
from Venus, and my life has never been the same. After dog-earing
every Mars Venus book, I discovered the opportunity to share
this life-changing information with others. It was like a
thunderbolt, and I instantly knew relationship education was
my life's calling.
In February 1998, I attended my first training with John Gray
to be certified as a workshop facilitator on personal relationship
skills for couples and singles. My 32-year career in a very
‘Martian' aerospace industry prepared me to help women and
men apply relationship skills in their careers so I became
certified to present Mars Venus workplace seminars as well.
In fact, Dr. Gray acknowledges me in his book “Mars and Venus
in the Workplace” for contributing valuable experience and
feedback. Since the ‘90s, I've shared Mars and Venus concepts
through workshops held in many venues, including cruise ships,
resorts, churches, and for professional women's organizations.
I've also written articles on the Mars Venus Web sites and
made guest appearances on radio to discuss Mars and Venus
concepts.
The most rewarding aspect of my Mars Venus career, though,
has been as a telephone coach with Ask Mars Venus and now
as a Success Coach with Mars Venus Coaching (
www.marsvenuscoaching.com ).
In the past 6 years as a coach, I've had the privilege
to work with hundreds of men and women from all over the world
with every imaginable relationship concern — including issues
on dating, commitment, marriage, infidelity, starting over
after a loss, parenting, workplace issues, and achieving personal
success.
Most importantly, my own marriage is thriving as we celebrate
our 32nd wedding anniversary this year. Learning and applying
the Mars Venus principles was a significant factor in our
ability to achieve this milestone. We are also very proud
of our two daughters, who are now happy and successful adults.
Their experiences, both in the workplace and in the dating
and relationship realms, have benefited greatly from having
their own “private” coach!
My journey is a testament to Dr. Gray's How to Get What You
Want and Want What You Have. When you work with me via workshops/seminars
or coaching, you'll find warm, open-minded, and empathetic
support; understanding without judgment or reprisal; and someone
with a practical and down-to-earth approach to inspire you
to discover your own highest potential in all areas of your
life. Teaching others how to apply Dr. Gray's principles to
their own relationships is the sweetest work in the universe.
Relationship Article Archive
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Marrige Counseling and Family Relationships: Effective Communication Goes Against Human Nature
Tips for Keeping A Warm, Sincere and Romantic Relationship
Marrige Counseling and Family Relationships: Maintaining a Healthy and Loving Relationship
Marriage Counseling
The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads Reveals Ten Secrets to Strengthening a Marriage
How to Get a Man to do Housework
Marriage without Criticism
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Holiday-Hopping Hot Buttons
By Melodie Tucker
Who's going where and doing what for which holiday when? Whose turn is it to spend time with whom? As a Mars Venus relationship coach, these are questions I often hear around this time of year. With the holiday season upon us, the challenge for couples is to determine how to divide their time between family and friends and choose activities that will please as many as possible. The scheduling issues are only compounded within blended families that must take even more people and households into consideration. No matter what choices you make, there's no way everyone will end up happy all of the time and, without a doubt, someone somewhere will be disappointed. So how can you minimize the emotional stress and maximize the holiday fun for all? This year you can create a plan!
It begins with you and your mate recognizing and acknowledging that each member of the family has differing yet valid opinions (based on past holiday traditions and experiences) of what constitutes 'fun'. A good exercise is to start with a family meeting. Give everyone in your household (if in a blended family, you may want to include those members, too) a notebook and ask them to prioritize the upcoming holidays in the order of most importance to them (ex: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Yule, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, etc). Then ask each person to write down where they want to spend each holiday and 3 activities that they would like to do to celebrate each one. Some examples might be:
- Watch sports
- Open presents
- Cook or Eat (turkey, ham, steak, lasagna, tamales, seafood, etc)
- Go to church
-
Party with friends
- Sleep
- Visit mom, dad, or grandparents
- Go skiing in the mountains or snorkeling in the tropics
Next you'll want to organize all this information on a spreadsheet--either on a giant-sized piece of paper or with Excel if you're computer savvy. You may happily discover that each family member has a different favorite holiday or similar expectations. If not, then it's time for negotiation. Instead of arguing when family members' conflict on how/where to spend holidays, you can choose to vote, come to a consensus, or assign a leader to make the final decision (you can even assign different leaders for different holidays). Agree before you begin, that if the discussions start to get heated, you will take a 'time out' before the shouting starts and reconvene later after you've both had a chance to calm down. The most important lesson here is that expectations are set in advance and results are fair.
Once your immediate family has finalized their decisions, now is the time to notify extended family of your choices. Whenever difficult communications is required, remember it always works best when 'blood speaks to blood'. In other words, if the joint decision is that you're going skiing for Thanksgiving instead of to his parent's house for dinner, then it is best if he tells his folks. If you're staying home to open presents with the kids on Christmas Day instead of traveling to her parents, then she'll want to break the news. If you anticipate disappointment, be prepared and be firm. Perhaps you may consider inviting them to join you instead or offer to spend an alternative holiday together. Sometimes you may be pleasantly surprised, because they may have felt stuck in a holiday tradition and will welcome a change, too!
If you'd like to learn more about how to use Mars Venus skills to negotiate instead of argue when you don't agree with your partner, just send me a question at melodietucker@marsvenuscoaching.com. I'm grateful for the opportunity to help and wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.
Melodie Tucker is a Mars Venus Success Coach and Seminar Leader, trained by Dr. John Gray, author of the world famous "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" series. For the past 10 years, she has helped men and women all over the world create great relationships that last. If you'd like more information about this topic, want to learn how you can become a coach, or wish to have personal coaching for your specific situation, please contact her at the email address on her bio at: http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com/usa-coach-florida-melodietucker.htm
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