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Melodie Tucker, Success Coach

melodietucker@marsvenuscoaching.com

Office:  321-459-1399

Listen to an Interview
with Melodie Tucker

My own journey to Mars Venus began in the mid ‘90s during a particularly “challenging” phase of my marriage. Searching for some help and answers, I stumbled across Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus, and my life has never been the same. After dog-earing every Mars Venus book, I discovered the opportunity to share this life-changing information with others. It was like a thunderbolt, and I instantly knew relationship education was my life's calling.

In February 1998, I attended my first training with John Gray to be certified as a workshop facilitator on personal relationship skills for couples and singles. My 32-year career in a very ‘Martian' aerospace industry prepared me to help women and men apply relationship skills in their careers so I became certified to present Mars Venus workplace seminars as well. In fact, Dr. Gray acknowledges me in his book “Mars and Venus in the Workplace” for contributing valuable experience and feedback. Since the ‘90s, I've shared Mars and Venus concepts through workshops held in many venues, including cruise ships, resorts, churches, and for professional women's organizations.

I've also written articles on the Mars Venus Web sites and made guest appearances on radio to discuss Mars and Venus concepts.

The most rewarding aspect of my Mars Venus career, though, has been as a telephone coach with Ask Mars Venus and now as a Success Coach with Mars Venus Coaching ( www.marsvenuscoaching.com ).

In the past 6 years as a coach, I've had the privilege to work with hundreds of men and women from all over the world with every imaginable relationship concern — including issues on dating, commitment, marriage, infidelity, starting over after a loss, parenting, workplace issues, and achieving personal success.

Most importantly, my own marriage is thriving as we celebrate our 32nd wedding anniversary this year. Learning and applying the Mars Venus principles was a significant factor in our ability to achieve this milestone. We are also very proud of our two daughters, who are now happy and successful adults. Their experiences, both in the workplace and in the dating and relationship realms, have benefited greatly from having their own “private” coach!

My journey is a testament to Dr. Gray's How to Get What You Want and Want What You Have. When you work with me via workshops/seminars or coaching, you'll find warm, open-minded, and empathetic support; understanding without judgment or reprisal; and someone with a practical and down-to-earth approach to inspire you to discover your own highest potential in all areas of your life. Teaching others how to apply Dr. Gray's principles to their own relationships is the sweetest work in the universe.

Relationship Article Archive

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Marrige Counseling and Family Relationships: Effective Communication Goes Against Human Nature

Tips for Keeping A Warm, Sincere and Romantic Relationship

Marrige Counseling and Family Relationships: Maintaining a Healthy and Loving Relationship

Marriage Counseling

The Modern Mom's Guide to Dads Reveals Ten Secrets to Strengthening a Marriage

How to Get a Man to do Housework

Marriage without Criticism

Holiday-Hopping Hot Buttons
By Melodie Tucker

Who's going where and doing what for which holiday when? Whose turn is it to spend time with whom? As a Mars Venus relationship coach, these are questions I often hear around this time of year. With the holiday season upon us, the challenge for couples is to determine how to divide their time between family and friends and choose activities that will please as many as possible. The scheduling issues are only compounded within blended families that must take even more people and households into consideration. No matter what choices you make, there's no way everyone will end up happy all of the time and, without a doubt, someone somewhere will be disappointed. So how can you minimize the emotional stress and maximize the holiday fun for all? This year you can create a plan!

It begins with you and your mate recognizing and acknowledging that each member of the family has differing yet valid opinions (based on past holiday traditions and experiences) of what constitutes 'fun'. A good exercise is to start with a family meeting. Give everyone in your household (if in a blended family, you may want to include those members, too) a notebook and ask them to prioritize the upcoming holidays in the order of most importance to them (ex: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Yule, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Kwanzaa, New Year's Eve, New Year's Day, etc). Then ask each person to write down where they want to spend each holiday and 3 activities that they would like to do to celebrate each one. Some examples might be:

  • Watch sports
  • Open presents
  • Cook or Eat (turkey, ham, steak, lasagna, tamales, seafood, etc)
  • Go to church
  • Party with friends
  • Sleep
  • Visit mom, dad, or grandparents
  • Go skiing in the mountains or snorkeling in the tropics

Next you'll want to organize all this information on a spreadsheet--either on a giant-sized piece of paper or with Excel if you're computer savvy. You may happily discover that each family member has a different favorite holiday or similar expectations. If not, then it's time for negotiation. Instead of arguing when family members' conflict on how/where to spend holidays, you can choose to vote, come to a consensus, or assign a leader to make the final decision (you can even assign different leaders for different holidays). Agree before you begin, that if the discussions start to get heated, you will take a 'time out' before the shouting starts and reconvene later after you've both had a chance to calm down. The most important lesson here is that expectations are set in advance and results are fair.

Once your immediate family has finalized their decisions, now is the time to notify extended family of your choices. Whenever difficult communications is required, remember it always works best when 'blood speaks to blood'. In other words, if the joint decision is that you're going skiing for Thanksgiving instead of to his parent's house for dinner, then it is best if he tells his folks. If you're staying home to open presents with the kids on Christmas Day instead of traveling to her parents, then she'll want to break the news. If you anticipate disappointment, be prepared and be firm. Perhaps you may consider inviting them to join you instead or offer to spend an alternative holiday together. Sometimes you may be pleasantly surprised, because they may have felt stuck in a holiday tradition and will welcome a change, too!

If you'd like to learn more about how to use Mars Venus skills to negotiate instead of argue when you don't agree with your partner, just send me a question at melodietucker@marsvenuscoaching.com. I'm grateful for the opportunity to help and wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving.

Melodie Tucker is a Mars Venus Success Coach and Seminar Leader, trained by Dr. John Gray, author of the world famous "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" series. For the past 10 years, she has helped men and women all over the world create great relationships that last. If you'd like more information about this topic, want to learn how you can become a coach, or wish to have personal coaching for your specific situation, please contact her at the email address on her bio at: http://www.marsvenuscoaching.com/usa-coach-florida-melodietucker.htm

 



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