Recipe for Disaster at Middle School: A True Story
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT –
Mix together:1 middle-school age girl who was being bullied by some kids at school with a lecturing mother and a too-busy father who does little with daughter. Add in some bad grades with the consequences of losing all privileges for six weeks. No seasoning is to be added except TV. Combine with parents wanting to give up thinking it was hopeless. Cook at 500° with criticism and many loud lectures.
Result: one negative mess resulting in an angry, hurt child who refuses to try.
- Chop up the pieces of the bullying by discussing with the school principal and counselor. Get it stopped. Add a parent/teacher conference to discuss why grades are low. Supply tutoring before school.
- Increase father daughter time with donut runs, doing errands together and breakfasts occasionally.
- Add healthy youth activities of tae kwon do lessons and church youth group. Settle the family with evening meals together where no negative talk is allowed.
- Decrease the hot liquid of mother’s daily lectures and add mother fixing daughter’s long hair 1x/week.
- Change consequence for poor grades to 2 weeks grounding and add daily home study time.
- Make sure parents catch child doing good things and spice it up with sincere, regular praise.
- Sprinkle with weekly fun family activities.
- Counselor presents child with ways of managing teasing, works with child on making more friends and reinforces efforts of all three.
Result: grades good, girl active with some new friends, everyone happy. This recipe took 3 months to cook and the parents were afraid it would never get done, but it did. A true story. The End.
Copyright © 2016, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission of author.
The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.
Her popular book for teens, How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed., empowers kids to stand out,not just fit in!
A follow-up book for teens, When to Say Yes! And Make More Friends, shows adolescents how to select and meet quality friends and, in general, feel good for doing and being good.
Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun.Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble.
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- Be Who You Really Are - December 26, 2016