Families Online Magazine

By Aron Wallad -  Funniest Baseball Quotes

A baseball game is simply a nervous
breakdown divided into nine innings.
Earl Wilson

When they start the game, they don't
yell, "Work ball." They say, "Play ball."
Willie Stargell, 1981

When we played softball, I'd steal
second base, feel guilty and go back.
Woody Allen

A baseball park is the one place where
a man's wife doesn't mind his getting
excited over somebody else's curves.
Brendan Francis

There have been only two geniuses in
the world. Willie Mays and Willie
Shakespeare.
Tallulah Bankhead

Baseball is very big with my people.
It figures. It's the only way we can
get to shake a bat at a white man
without starting a riot.
Dick Gregory

What does a mama bear on the pill have
in common with the World Series? No cubs.
Harry Caray

Confucius say: Baseball wrong - man with
four balls cannot walk.
Author Unknown

With the money I'm making, I should be
playing two positions.
Pete Rose, 1977

Andre Dawson has a bruised knee and is
listed as day-to-day. Aren't we all?
Vin Scully

Cricket is baseball on valium.
Robin Williams

Finish last in your league and they
call you Idiot. Finish last in medical
school and they call you Doctor.
Abe Lemons

The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing.
Dizzy Dean

I managed a team that was so bad we considered
a 2-0 count on the batter a rally.
Rich Donnelly, minor league manager

Let no one accuse baseball of not being
tough on drugs. During his baseball career,
Steve Howe was given 7 lifetime suspensions.
Bill Ferraro, baseball fan.

I could never play in New York. The first
time I came into a game there, I got into
the bullpen car and they told me to lock the doors.
Mike Flanagan, Baltimore Orioles

On his own scouting report: "Very deceptive.
Slower than he looks.
Joe Garagiola

A lot of things run through your head when
you're going in to relieve in a tight spot.
One of them was, 'Should I spike myself ?
Lefty Gomez

Three more saves and he ties John
the Baptist.
Hank Greenwald, on Bruce Sutter