By Cherly Moeller - Family Funny StuffHaving witnessed the phenomenal growth of dating sites on the Internet, I've decided to cash in this multi-mi-million dollar ma matchmaking enterprise. However, I'm taking a a slightly different tack than most – the name of my website is www.disharmony(dot)com.
We'll match 29 dimensions of things ts that will irritate you both.
For example, we'll match someone that likes to scrap their fingernails on a blackboard with someone that repeatedly sneezes on the loaf of bread just before handing it to you at a restaurant.
Or, we'll match someone that whines as all the time about their job and mean supervisor with someone who engages in burping contests with perfect strangers on the train.
Or we'll try and match someone that it is a positively crashing bore with someone who asks you if you like seafood. If you say yes, they open their mouth and show you their half eaten sandwich and say, "Here -- see food!"
Or we'll match someone that won a recent bagpipe and yodeling contest with someone that wears gall stones removed during their recent surgery as a necklace.
Or we'll match someone that flosses ts their teeth between each course with someone who brings their mother along on each date to cut their meat and insure they chew the proper number of times before swallowing.
Or, we'll match someone that talks co constantly descriibes their most recent bout with psoriasis of the scalp with someone who has a tongue as long as an anteater -- and who entertains you by snatching peas off your plate at dinner from three feet away.
We'll match you with someone who laughs so hard they start snorting with someone who can play the melody to, "I've been working on the railroad," using only their hand under their armpit??
That's right, if you're looking for absolutely the most annoying person on the planet go to www.disharmony(dot)com. We'll l help p you find your soul-grate for life.
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Cheryl is a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a niece, an aunt, a granddaughter, a friend, a volunteer... well you get the idea. Let.s just say she.s a lot like you and has decided the best way for us all to cope is to laugh (don't try to inhale at the same time, it only makes matters worse).