Families Online Magazine

Children and spouses will both appreciate slowness and calmness to holidays.  Maybe you don't drive 800 milies to be with family for 24 hours--maybe you stay home this year.  Or perhaps you have the meal catered or have guests each bring a dish.  Possibly you put a limit on the # of gifts to purchase.

Please stop overspending at Christmas as it does not bring your children more happiness--instead it makes them have an attitude of "entitlement" (which used to be called spoiled brat!).  I recently was talking with a 12 year old boy who had got a ticket and had his four-wheeler impounded due to driving it on the city streets.  The ticket and fee to get the four-wheeler back was about $600.  I asked him how he was going to take care of that--he snorted and said his Dad would pay for it.  No remorse.. in fact, he said he liked his dad working long hours so he can get more things.  If you met this boy, you would learn he is a good student, an accomplished athlete and has manners.  Yet this attitude of "I deserve things and the more things I get, the cooler I am" will not serve him well in life.

Your children want more time with you to talk, play or just relax.   Think of rituals from your childhood that you enjoyed and add to your family time.  Or maybe you make some new ones up. Simple things are what I remember such as helping Daddy string the outdoor lights, going to midnight church service on Christmas Eve and helping Mother bake cookies.  I recall one grandfather always liked to shake his presents under the tree and would invite me to join him.  I remember special foods that were always prepared by my grandmothers.

Take photos at holiday time--or maybe give your child a camera and let him or her become the family historian.  Relax... breathe... have fun... add some special rituals that your children will take to their families some day!

Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples’ lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life’s Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas’ Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon’s best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon’s many workshop topics that she can bring to your child’s school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.