Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT - Mix together:
1 middle-school age girl who was being bullied by some kids at school with a lecturing mother and a too-busy father who does little with daughter. Add in some bad grades with the consequences of losing all privileges for six weeks. No seasoning is to be added except TV. Combine with parents wanting to give up thinking it was hopeless. Cook at 500° with criticism and many loud lectures.
Listen to Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
Too Smart for Trouble , a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
Result: one negative mess resulting in an angry, hurt child who refuses to try.
My recipe:
Chop up the pieces of the bullying by discussing with the school principal and counselor. Get it stopped. Add a parent/teacher conference to discuss why grades are low. Supply tutoring before school.
Increase father daughter time with donut runs, doing errands together and breakfasts occasionally.
Add healthy youth activities of tae kwon do lessons and church youth group. Settle the family with evening meals together where no negative talk is allowed.
Decrease the hot liquid of mother’s daily lectures and add mother fixing daughter’s long hair 1x/week.
Change consequence for poor grades to 2 weeks grounding and add daily home study time.
Make sure parents catch child doing good things and spice it up with sincere, regular praise.
Sprinkle with weekly fun family activities.
Counselor presents child with ways of managing teasing, works with child on making more friends and reinforces efforts of all three.
Result: grades good, girl active with some new friends, everyone happy. This recipe took 3 months to cook and the parents were afraid it would never get done… but it did. A true story. The End.
Copyright © 2011, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission of author.
P.S. Please see my other column Counselor’s Corner.
