Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT - Most families are caught up in the “busyness” of our world.
I referenced Terry Hershey’s wonderful book, “The Power of Pause,” in this column last month. In that book he explores the concept that maybe we would live more by doing less. As a marriage and family therapist with more years’ of experience than I care to remember, I also feel that our lives are often upside down. We’re always in a hurry… yet we find the time to tweet. We know we need exercise… yet we communicate (dare I say often waste time?) on Facebook. We haven’t had a date with our spouse in so long that we wouldn’t even know what to talk about if we did (other than about problems).
Listen to Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
Too Smart for Trouble , a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
Mr. Hershey says the world has trained us to believe “that we derive our worth and value from what we do or produce.” We can get “addicted” to the adrenaline rush or the rewards of being needed. If we didn’t have that validation, would we feel less as a human being?
You are not being selfish by learning to withdraw for a pause. In fact, it would be something good to teach your children. Just sit and be. In fact, if your child is young enough, you won’t have to teach them as little ones do it automatically when they stare for a long time at a doodle bug, watch with delight leaves blowing in a circle or when they play in the mud!
It would be ideal for families to have a place for nourishment and renewal. This could be done individually or it could be a special place within the home for any member to withdraw. A place to take refuge when overtired… frustrated… scared… or to just be. It’s not sending a child to his room to calm down. This is about learning to give oneself time to be at peace… to renew. The location could be a lovely window seat that absorbs the afternoon sun. Perhaps a rocking chair near the fireplace? Or the old picnic table in the back yard? When family members withdraw to that designated space, it gives others the awareness to let them be.
Think about discussing this with your family and designating a relaxing haven for family members to pause (obviously without technology).
Copyright © 2011, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
