Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT - Adult children living with parents.
As a marriage and family therapist practicing for over thirty years, I see many trends in families-some good and some not so good. One trend that has become more apparent is adult children moving back home to live with their parents-usually rent free and with no responsibilities. Parents continue to pay for the "child's" necessities (room and board as well as cable TV, phone, movies, clothes, new video games, etc.), mom does the laundry for all, opposite gender friends are behind closed bedroom doors with the youth, and the child grazes from the refrigerator at will refusing to even sit with the family at dinner time (assuming that routine didn't go by the wayside years ago). The young person doesn't look for work claiming nothing is available. We are in hard economic times… but you still have to look and eventually something will be found.
How did this happen? And what can a parent do ahead of time to help your child want to live an independent and happy life?
Listen to Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
Too Smart for Trouble , a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
Another trend is for families to not take the time to eat meals together-and have pleasant conversation. Research shows that this is so very important! I also notice that if they eat together the cook makes a different meal for each child. Children need to learn to eat what is served (assuming you serve some healthy choices). And they can be asked to take 2 bites of something they don't like to help their taste buds acquire the taste for the new food.
When your child has friends over of the opposite gender, they must play/visit in the family room-not in your child's bedroom with closed doors. Establish this when they are young and they will likely know to keep the pattern when they are teens. And TV, computer and phone times should be limited otherwise you will find the child on them most of the day.
Begin now to prepare your child for their future by requiring them to be a contributing member of the family-not just "everything should be given to me now and is" lifestyle!
Copyright © 2011, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
P.S. Please see my other column SmileNotes.
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Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples’ lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life’s Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas’ Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon’s best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon’s many workshop topics that she can bring to your child’s school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.
