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To Cyber-Parent or Not

Family Counselor Advice

Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT - - Sexting, Bullying, Peer Pressure and More

Did you read about the sixth-grade boy who sent a filthy text message to a sixth grade girl classmate in New Jersey? It could have been anywhere as this is becoming so common. What is unusual about it is the response of the school principal, Tony Orsini when he was asked by the girl's parents to help. Why was the principal asked to intervene since this did not happen during school? What was reported by Providence Journal columnist Froma Harrop was that the girls' parents were worried about upsetting the other parents since the fathers coached together.

Listen to a Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott,LPC LMFT

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By Sharon Scott, LPC LMFTOrder Books

Sharon is the author of eight award-winning books including four on the topic of peer pressure.

The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.

Her best-selling book for teens, How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed., empowers kids to stand out—not just fit in!
A follow-up book for teens, When to Say Yes! And Make More Friends, shows adolescents how to select and meet quality friends and, in general, feel good for doing and being good.

Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun. Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble.

In my day (often called the "olden days!"), #1 I would not have had any of these communication devices; #2 my parents would have communicated directly with the other parents; #3 if my parents had not got an appropriate response from those parents, they would have called the police. The school would have never been involved.

I personally don't feel that schools have time to monitor the student's communications by phone, email or text. Their responsibility is to teach the children—these other things appear a serious distraction to me.

I am surprised (and thrilled) by the principal's response that he sent to all parents in his school:
"There is absolutely NO reason for any middle school student to be part of a social networking site." He added that cruel 12-year-olds pose more a threat to everyone's well-being than the adult predators the parents fear. He added to go to the police if a child was attacked through networking sites or messages.

In my private counseling practice, I'm working with so many children and teens who have got into trouble with texting and social sites—from sending nude photos to bullying to getting on to porn sites. It's important to remember that what your child writes or posts in cyberspace are there forever. Please consider (or re-consider) the adult tools/privileges that you give to your child.

(Editor's Note: Sharon Scott has an excellent teen/preteen guide for helping children
make wise choices with friends titled How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. This award-winning book (and the companion parent guide <em>Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.) would make excellent back-to-school reading. The guide for the young child is Too Smart for Trouble. All available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott .

Copyright © 2010, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.

P.S. Please see my other column SmileNotes.

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About Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT

Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT,has been making a difference in peoples' lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life's Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas' Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon's best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon's many workshop topics that she can bring to your child's school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.

About The Author

Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT - Smile Notes

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