Motivate Healthy Habits:
Leaving a Family Legacy

By Rick Botelho
 www.motivatehealthyhabits.com

 Do you want to prevent disease, live longer and improve the quality of your life? And what about your family members too? All you and your family members have to do is:

SIMPLE TO SAY BUT IT’S DIFFICULT TO DO IT ALL.

 No one and no family has perfect health. Everyone has a weak spot. And even if you are a baby boomer, it’s not too late to change and get the most out of your golden years.

 There is no simple, quick-fix recipe for addressing your weak spot. Do not be deceived by marketing hype that sells false promises of long-lasting change. Changing your unhealthy habit can be a complex challenge. So, to what extent does this question ring true for you.  How well do you understand why you (and your family members) emotionally resist changing your unhealthy habits, despite your best intentions?

Are you fully aware of how your emotional resistance prevents you from making health improvements?

How do positive and negative feelings contribute to your emotional resistance? Here are some examples of positive and negative feelings that can help you explore why you (and your family members) remain attached to unhealthy habits.

 Positive versus Negative Feelings

         Comfort oneself versus relieve stress (e.g. smoke, drink alcohol and/or overeat)

         Relax versus relieve or avoid anxiety (e.g., overeat, drink alcohol and/ or smoke)

         Feel good versus suppress feelings of depression (e.g., overeat and/or drink alcohol)

         Increase confidence or self-esteem versus avoid feeling low confidence or low self-esteem (e.g., overeat and/or drink alcohol)

         Enjoy the pleasure of downtime or vegging out versus avoid the pain and gain of change (e.g., exercise to feel naturally high)

         Let go of anger (drink alcohol to suppress inhibitions) versus suppress anger (e.g. over eat to minimize anger)

         Enjoy the company of others versus avoid loneliness (e.g. drinking)

         Give courage (e.g. drink alcohol to ask someone out) versus avoid fear and rejection

         Increase sense of power (e.g., use cocaine) versus avoid feelings of powerlessness

 All of these positive feelings (comfort oneself, relax, enjoy pleasure, etc) may conceal underlying negative feelings (stress, anxiety, depressed mood, etc). So if you identify more strongly with a positive feeling, you may not be fully aware of how your avoidance of negative feelings perpetuates your unhealthy habit. But if you stop your unhealthy habit, you can experience the full impact of the underlying negative feeling.

 On the other hand, if you identify more with the benefits of reducing your negative feelings (overeat to comfort a negative mood, smoke a cigarette to relieve stress, or drink alcohol to drown your sorrows), you may have additional, underlying issues (e.g., an anxiety disorder, undiagnosed depression or unresolved grief) that may need professional help.

 If your fear of failure also makes you feel guilty, you may avoid change and both negative feelings. If this fear is compounded by a lack of confidence, you may undermine your attempts at ever making a change. Or never, make a change attempt.

 Feelings can distort your perceptions so that you minimize the risks and concerns about your unhealthy habit and maximize the benefits of your unhealthy habit. This self-deception can keep you in your comfort zone and avoid the risk of change.

 How can you begin to address these distorted perceptions and the negative impact of these powerful feelings on your health? Explore deep change to understand what lies beneath your emotional resistance.  2. UNDERSTAND LIES BENEATH YOUR EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE

 Your past history and life experiences, your motives and values also affect your current behavior. Motives can relate any combination of the following factors.

 With externally controlled motives, you are only changing because other people want you to change.

 With internally controlled motives, you are only changing because you feel that you should, ought or must change. When you do not change or fail to change, this motive can evoke feelings of guilt and other negative emotions such as shame.

 With freely chose motives, you are changing because it is really important to you and your values. In addition to these underlying factors, your current energy level and competing priorities in life also affect whether you can put your values into practice. For example, your work demands and family devotion drains your energy so much that you sacrifice your health. In other words, you value your health but you don’t do what you say. Lack of regular exercise and/or weight gain are common forms of sacrifice.

 Researchers and/or outside resources can provide you with information, support and “know- how”, but they cannot make you change. The ultimate answer must come from within. Do as you say and put your values into action.

 
      LOWER YOUR EMOTIONAL RESISTANCE

 Understanding how your feelings drive your emotional resistance can help you become an effective researcher of your own behavior change. Explore what lies beneath your feelings to discover the path of least resistance to effective motivation. Experience this learning process, ideally with the support of family and friends, to make change happen. This learning process can inspire family and friends to do the same. .

 As Gandhi said,  

The Perfect Multi Vitamin