Who Am I to Judge?
Dr. Howard Peiper – Path to a Better Life
If we choose to be more accepting and less judgmental of people, and carry that through to anyone we are in conflict with, our chances of reaching a satisfactory outcome are much greater.
We are not talking about being friends with someone we can’t stand; accepting someone and being nonjudgmental doesn’t mean we have to like them. We are talking about accepting people for who they are whether or not we like them. We encounter people we don’t care for and don’t want to associate with, but they are there. If we don’t find a way to accept these people, we become angry, impatient, and frustrated whenever we see them. If we are willing to communicate honestly with the other person and be open to what he or she has to say, together we are able to find a positive, sustaining solution that will end the conflict. This even gives us the chance to ask ourselves, “How could I have been so wrong about this person?” Maybe we will catch ourselves the next time we are being judgmental and turn it around. After all, we are the only one who can change the way we think.
Most judgments of others stem from one of these three basic causes:
- We wouldn’t tolerate the same behavior or characteristic in ourselves. For example, we might be shy and encounter a very gregarious person. Our judgment might go something like this: What a show-off. They are so loud and obnoxious. Because we would be embarrassed to act this way, we resent somebody else doing it. Becoming aware of the truth of this reaction and working on expressing ourselves more fully and authentically would result in a valuable gift of self-expression.
- We display the same behavior and aren’t aware of it so we project our disowned behavior onto others and dislike it “out there”. Everyone has encountered the second cause at some point. Someone is complaining about a friend or acquaintance and we think to ourselves, “That’s funny, they do the same thing they are finding wrong!” Taking an honest look within if we share some of the characteristics we dislike in others. We maybe surprised to learn that we do, and it is likely to offer insight into gaining greater self-acceptance and compassion for others.
- We are envious and resent the feelings that come so we find something wrong with those who have what we want and end up judging them. Someone has attained recognition may remind us of our own lack of success in this area. We may resent their higher degree of accomplishment and then find something wrong with them to avoid our own feelings of inadequacy. Since inspiration is a much more effective motivator than competition, we’d be more likely to experience success if we got inspired by other people’s victories instead of wasting time finding fault with them.
Being nonjudgmental toward another person will open our mind to other feelings such as empathy and compassion. We will have an inner calm whenever we think or interact with this person in the future. Our world will open to choices and options we never would have thought of, and it will eliminate some of the “negatives” in our life. As we become less judgmental, people familiar with us will probably notice positive changes in us, which will give us an opportunity to relate the benefits we have reaped by being nonjudgmental. Modeling our behavior is such a wonderful way to teach others about being nonjudgmental.
Remember, most judgments of others are ego strategies to avoid uncomfortable feelings. However, if we lack the awareness of where they come from, they can lead to even more discomfort down the line.
Howard, nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, has written numerous books on nutrition and natural health including 12 best sellers.
Create a Miracle with Hexagonal Water
New Hope for Serious Diseases
The A.D.D. & A.D.H. Diet
Zeolite Nature's Heavy Metal Detoxifier
Viral Immunity with Humic Acid
The Secrets of Staying Young
Nutritional Leverage For Great Golf
All Natural High Performance Diet
Natural Solutions For Sexual Enhancement
Super Nutrition for Dogs and Cats
Books can be ordered at:
Safe Goods Publishing.
Dr. Peiper is co-host of the award winning Television show, Partners in Healing. They feature guest in the alternative healing field including such names as Harvey Diamond, Dr. John Upledger, Dr. Bernard Jensen, Gary Null and Dr. Marshall Mandell.
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