Nanny to the Rescue
America's nanny offers a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced babies and toddlers.
Babies don't come with instructions. And since today's parents are so overwhelmed with schedules and demands, they have little time to bone up on their parenting skills. Often removed from grandparents and relatives who in times past lived next door or just down the street, they have no one to guide them through the disorienting world of raising children. Enter Nanny to the Rescue! Michelle LaRowe, 2004 International Nanny Association "Nanny of the Year," gives her tried and true solutions to childcare. Her expertise with chapters titled "Who's the boss?" and "Discipline is not a four letter word" gives confidence to parents who need specific ideas for real day-to-day problems. A proud member of Christian Nannies, Michelle offers foundational truths sure to help encourage moms and dads.
Nanny To the Rescue Again
Faced with multiple choices regarding school, friends, and activities coupled with the ever-widening influence of the outside world, parents of 6-12 year olds need help. America's nanny is back to offer a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced children.
|Parenting Books That Work! By Sharon Scott |
Why Wont My Teens Clean Their Room?
Have you ever had this struggle with your teens? Did you get to the results that you were looking for? Did moving toward those results create an unexpected rift between you and your teen? Parents complain to me that when their teens won't do their chores and, as a result, they punish their teens, there is conflict and a damaged relationship. Parents say that they don't want their relationship with their teens to suffer. They say that they understand that discipline and order is needed in their teens' lives, but are at a loss at how to encourage it in a way that allows their relationship with their teens to keep thriving. So what is there to do?
I was asking that to myself last week when a friend and I had the opportunity to spend a wonderful week in the woods with nine 14 year-old girls at a meditation camp. Shortly after the girls walked into the very rustic and dusty cabin, we played a couple of fun icebreaker games. It was a great way for us to get to know the girls, for the girls to get to know each other, and for them to get to know us. After the games, and before our first meditation, we passed a "clean cabin" chore list. They all promptly chose two daily chores each by writing their name on the chore schedule of the week.
My co-cabin leader said that she felt that that would be enough to persuade the girls to do their chores, and that she wanted to focus on joy and spirituality for the week. That sounded pleasant to me so I left it at that.
As the first day went by, surprise, surprise? clothes and many other items were starting to pile up on the floor, the bunks, and on our large work table. I noticed that by the end of the day none of the girls had done any of their chores. My co-leader also noticed the piles and said that we needed to be patient with the girls, and that they would do their chores soon.
By lunch on the second day, possibly because the awful camp food had gotten to me, I decided that I needed to act on what I knew. Although the girls had smiled and written their names on the chore schedule, I knew they had no intention of doing any of them.
Before I blinked, I caught myself thinking the usual negative things- these girls are? (I am sure you can fill in the blank here!) I quickly stopped myself. I knew that kind of thinking was not helpful and was not going to get me to the results that I wanted- the girls doing their chores every day, while having fun and continuing to have a good relationship with me.
In all the years that I have worked with parents, kids, teens, teachers, school administrators, psychiatrists, etc., I have seen many adults pressure, manipulate, and punish teens to get them to do their chores, in vain. The chores are still not fully done on a regular basis and the relationship gets severed. Then what is there to do? In my work with hundreds of teens and kids I discovered a simple and powerful way to resolve this type of situations.
I have seen that teens and kids are not really committed and able to do a chore unless there is in place an agreement they co-created with the parent or adult and think that it is fair. That means that they: 1) fully agree to do that particular chore; 2) clearly understand what they need to do for the chore to be completed; 3) have the support they may need to get it done. Of course, this all depends on their age and maturity. I have seen this work with kids as young as three years old!
Now back to the woods, I could tell that the girls wrote their names on the chore schedule but they were not fully in agreement in doing those chores. There were was no real commitment. On the second day of camp, when my co-leader and I had a conversation with the girls, many of them revealed to us that, unless they agree verbally to something, it is not a real agreement to them. Strike one- in this particular case, we did not know they needed a verbal agreement.
Later that day, when we asked the girl that had the chore of cleaning the bathrooms, when was she planning to clean them, she was in tears because she had already cleaned them but we thought they were still dirty. Strike two-we had not explained to them what cleaning the bathrooms meant to us. When we explained what we meant she cleaned them in a jiffy. One of girls accepted the chore of sweeping the floor, she had never done it before in her life, and did not do it because she rather not do it that do it wrong. Strike three- when they signed to do the chore, we did not ask what that type of support they needed to do their chores. In the midst of so many strikes, we managed to hit a home run by speaking to the girls and getting a fair agreement between us.
Do you know what kind of agreement for cleaning their room works best with your teens? Do they need to agree verbally? Is a simple signed agreement more effective? Do they feel that the agreement is fair? Are they absolutely clear of what cleaning their room means? Maybe a clean room to them means a dirty one to you. Make sure that it is clear to them what you mean by clean. Also, often teens need some type of support to clean their room. For example, setting an alarm clock to remind them, or having a checklist of what are the different things that they need to do in order for their room to be to clean. Do you know what kind of support your teens need?
The girls at the camp said that they liked the agreement because it was not forced on them but instead was also created with their ideas. They told us that since it was their agreement they wanted to do their chores. During the last days of camp every girl in the cabin joyfully announced to the rest of us that this had been the best and most fun year at camp (they started coming to camp since they were ten years-old) and that they had the greatest leaders because they truly care about them, understood them and treated them well. Needless to say, the results I was looking for were met.
I propose that you make an effort to find-out what type agreements work with your teens and create agreements that are clear and supportive to both you and your teens.
Think back to when you were a kid. If you parents had taken the time to make agreements with you that you understood, could do, and felt were fair to you, how would that have influenced your life? It is within your power to give that to your teens today!
If you want more support and details on how to make a fair and successful agreement with your teens call me at 310/247-0523 or email me at email@example.com
I encourage you to make the kind of agreements with your teens and see what happens. I would love to hear your success stories and comments. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or visit my website www.ourextraordinarykids.com
Why are some kids and teens self-confident and self-reliant and others are not? Orly Szerman is a published author, teacher and confidence coach. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens, visit her website, http://www.ourextraordinarykids.com
Orly Szerman M.S., has been working with parents, kids, teens, families and couples for almost ten years as a therapist, certified parent coach, teacher and family advocate. She is the founder and president of Our Extraordinary Kids and a faculty member of Parent as Coach Academy. Orly created and designed innovative parent programs for STAR Education, which was selected as a model program by the White House and the U.S. Department of Education. She specializes in helping parents raise self-confident and self-reliant kids and teens. If you want to further develop your parent success and raise self-confident and self-reliant kids & teens visit her website http://www.ourextraordinarykids.com or email her at email@example.com
Parenting advice and family fun resource. Expert
parenting advice for babes to teens from doctors, teachers,
psychologists, nutritionists, Special Need Children and Child
Development Specialists and a Nanny. Family Fun includes crafts,
games, party ideas and family vacation travel. Families Online
Magazine also provides answers to those important questions, What's
for dinner and Are We There yet?
Are You Too Busy for Your Kids?
In his recent newsletter "Happy Kids", parenting expert Michael Grose (yes he is an expert with three kids of his own) said:
The Disadvantages of Home Schooling
"Home Schooling ? Look Before You Leap"
Helping Your Kid?s Grow a Garden
Start some gardening traditions with your kids. Give them their own garden patch and a spot to dig. Children love getting their hands dirty and watching things grow.
Why Fathers Are Such a Necessary Component in the Raising of Their Children.
The first year of a child's life is the most crucial time for Dad's to be present and loving and hugging his child. According to clinicians in the first year of birth babies relate to behaviors not language.
How Many Sex Offenders Live On Your Block?
For any parent, learning that a convicted sex offender lives on the same block, can be a chilling discovery. The thought of it alone, can be disturbing. Most parents can't imagine that someone, who could be so potentially dangerous, may live somewhere on their block or along the path their child takes to school. However, it is highly likely that there are registered sex offenders in your neighborhood.
Your Kids Career - Whose Choice?
A strange thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a
strange thought occurred. You see, my eldest son
helped me install a new kitchen. He was the expert handyman.
Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for
this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . ."
Successful Treatment Planning for Attention Deficit Disorder - ADD ADHD
O.K. So now you have taken the step of having your struggling child or teen assessed by a professional, and he has been diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. The psychologist, or therapist, or physician now wants to begin a treatment program. But what should you know before you "sign off" on any particular treatment approach?
Drinking and Driving: Will Your Child Become a Statistic?
Just two days ago, another 15-year old child was added to the overwhelming statistics of drunk-driving, related deaths. One minute, he's full of vitality and attending our local high school, the next his unsuspecting parents are identifying him in a local morgue. The harsh reality of this brutal scenerio is sometimes very difficult to comprehend.
Time, Stress, and a Baby
The main thing we noticed since having a baby is that time is a more valuable good. We do not have enough time for many things or time is really tight to accomplish certain tasks before the next feeding time has come. Think about feeding. The little one needs to be fed every 3 hours. Take approx. 15 minutes for the preparation, diaper change, cuddling, etc. before the actual feeding. Now take 30 minutes for the actual feeding, burping, holding and interacting with the baby. This really leaves you with approx. 2 hours and 15 minutes (if all goes well, the baby goes to sleep and does not wake up, etc.)
Handling Failure -- Teaching Kids How to Profit From It
There is nothing pleasant about failure, at least not at the time that it happens! Failure embarrasses us, feels bad, and often costs us money. Little wonder that people avoid failure like the plague.
How to Make a Time Capsule
Looking for an unusual and memorable gift? Why not preserve a slice of history by creating a time capsule for your loved one?
The Free Ride In Public Schools
To protect children's self-esteem or deflect complaints by parents, many public schools today automatically advance failing students to the next grade level. In other schools, some students are left back a maximum of one year, then promoted again regardless of their academic skills.
The Challenges of Single Parenting
Having worked with parents for the last 35 years and written books on parenting and relationships, I've discovered that one of the greatest challenges for us as parents is to be loving role-models for our children, showing our children through our behavior how to take personal responsibility for their own feelings and needs. Our children need to learn from our role-modeling how to nurture themselves within and how to create a sense of safety in the world. In families where both a mother and father are present, both parents can participate in nurturing the child emotionally and taking care of the child in the world, and both parents can role-model what it looks like to do this for themselves.
Tools to Find Family-Friendly Content
The Internet, is magnificent in its resources for families. Educational resources abound. Kids can easily find help for their homework blues without venturing to the library. Kids can chat with friends from far away for free; friends who, probably just a few years ago, they would never hear from again. And, of course, there's plenty of entertainment to satisfy the whole family once the chores and homework are complete.
The Ten Most Common Poisons Among Kids
For parents, keeping our kids safe is a constant top priority. But even with the best intentions it's possible to overlook some potentially harmful household poisons. According to the National Academy of Poison Control Centers, 92 percent of all poison exposures occur in the home, and 52 percent of poison exposures occur in children under the age of 6.
Should The Dad-To-Be Attend The Birth?
Not so long ago a dad-to-be would pace up and down outside the labor room and would be admitted only after the birth. Modern practice is to assume the dad-to-be should be at the birth to offer support. But an increasing number of dads, moms and midwives would prefer he stayed outside.
Spending Time With Your Child
Why Is Spending Time with Your Child So Important?
We All Wish That Our Children Have Good Virtues, But... Are We Setting A Good Example Ourselves?
We all wish that our children should not smoke or drink, should not speak lies, should not steal, should not have a violent nature, etc... but are we setting a good example ourselves?
Using Cloth Nappies
We all know that using cloth nappies is best for the environment and for our baby's health (not to mention our pockets) but just how easy are they to use?