In prior columns we’ve covered the “Peer Pressure Reversal” skill and the version for grades K-4, “Too Smart for Trouble, so we are now ready to talk about practicing these newly learned skills with your son or daughter. Merely discussing appropriate responses to trouble invitations with your child will not necessarily produce results. It’s imperative to hold actual role-play conversations with your child as this is what enables them to become quick and comfortable with the skill. The adult plays “devil’s advocate” by taking the role of a friend and using lines the pressuring peer might say to the child. Think of age appropriate scenarios in advance.

As you begin the skit practice, don’t tell the child what the trouble is going to be in advance. In real-life, the child will not get thought time. In fact, they have got about 30 seconds to respond or he or she is likely to get talked into the trouble. Do, however, tell them where the location of the skit is (i.e., in the hall at school, in your backyard, in class, etc.) so that the skit will make sense for them.

Remember to act out the scene rather than just discuss it. And avoid using actual friends’ names or specific past situations otherwise an argument will ensue.

Parent: “Let’s pretend I’m a friend in math class who sits next to you. We’re supposed to be finishing our work. Let’s act out how you would handle any trouble that you might hear.

(Pause)

“Hey, pass this note to Billy Bob.”

Your Child: Just keeps on working on his/her project. And says nothing.

Parent: “Hey, listen up! Pass this note!”

Your Child: Goes to the pencil sharpener and takes his/her time there. While gone, the friend gives ups and gives the note to someone else to pass.

Give reinforcement to the child for doing a great job. You might say, “Wow, I noticed that you ignored the trouble invitation and then left. That was quick thinking! And, if you’re friend says anything to you later in the hall you can just say you can’t risk a zero to pass a note.

If the child stumbled over what to do, give them time to think. If nothing comes to mind, then stop the skit, discuss which of the Peer Pressure (or Too Smart for ) steps that might apply, and begin the skit again. Praise a lot and make them feel good for doing good!

Copyright 2006, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from the author. Excerpted from Sharon Scott’s classic for parents and educators, Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd

P.S. Please check out my other column SmileNotes!

Excerpted from Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.

Copyright © 2006, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.