Relationship Quiz – Copacetic, Caution, or Conundrum?
This quiz is based on key areas of communication and intimacy in relationships. The easiest way to take the quiz is to print it, so that you can circle your responses and add up the results. Use the scale below to gauge the health of your relationship.
The questions are designed to assess the likelihood of your relationship being a success in the long term. Take the results seriously, but realize that no quiz can take into account everything that may important to you. Please do not feel completely discouraged if you don’t score well. Instead, use what you learn from the questions, and let the results motivate you to identify patterns of negativity and areas needing improvement.
Please answer the following questions using the 3-point scale provided. Answer according to how often the experience occurs in your relationship to either you or your partner. For more honest results, take the test alone before comparing results.
1 = Never
2 = Sometimes
3 = Always
1 2 3 We speak freely to each other and don’t hold back feelings to avoid conflict.
1 2 3 We show each other respect even when we argue.
1 2 3 We settle disagreements by finding common ground and end with compromise.
1 2 3 We are equal partners in the relationship.
1 2 3 We have good talks. We share our feelings and opinions.
1 2 3 We have girls/guys night out without jealousy becoming an issue.
1 2 3 When we settle an argument, it stays settled and does not become a recurring problem.
1 2 3 We can joke around with each other without one of us taking it the wrong way or getting upset.
1 2 3 We respect each other’s opinions, feelings, and beliefs. We see eye-to-eye on most things.
1 2 3 We like each other’s choices in friends.
1 2 3 We have good relationships with each other’s families.
1 2 3 Our fights do not escalate to the point of pushing and slapping.
1 2 3 I feel fulfilled and not lonely in the relationship.
1 2 3 We can argue without using threats of divorce or abandonment.
Now add up your points and assess your score:_______
36 to 42 “Copacetic”
If your score is in the 36 to 42 range, your relationship is in great shape. You are very fortunate to be in this category, so keep up the good work. You and your partner are a good match, and the likelihood of long-term success for your relationship is high. Everything may be copacetic now, but don’t get complacent. Continue to be open, honest, and involved with each other.
26 to 35 “Caution”
If your score is in the 26 to 35 range, then the caution light is on. It’s probably time to take a serious look at the direction your relationship is taking. There are obviously some very positive aspects of your relationship that are worth preserving and reinforcing. Your long-term success is in question now. It’s time to work on those respect and communication issues. Take note of the questions that scored 1’s and 2’s and talk about them.
14 to 25 “Conundrum”
If your score is in the 14 to 25 range, as I’m sure you already know, your relationship is in peril. Your score indicates that there is very little chance for long-term success. Negative patterns of behavior are destroying your relationship and making you and your partner miserable. If you intend to continue the relationship, you must take immediate action Seek outside help if possible.
Ms. Jensen is a leading advocate for families and children and was the founder and president of ACES, The Association for Children for Enforcement of Support.
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