Families Online Magazine >> Smile Notes >> Smile Notes: After Thanksgiving Shopping Not Needed! by Sharon Scott, LPC LMFT

Smile Notes: After Thanksgiving Shopping Not Needed! by Sharon Scott, LPC LMFT

After Thanksgiving Shopping Not Needed!
By Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT
www.SharonScott.com

The Friday following Thanksgiving used to mean that my mother, three aunts and I would go shopping all day at the mall for Christmas presents. I can fondly remember wonderful lunches, someone invariably getting lost, carrying packages to be put in the trunk of my car so more could be purchased... and tired feet! We all get caught up in the ads telling us about fabulous salesï¿½ commercials saying that our kids will be happy if we purchase xyz present for themï¿½ and, of course, getting there early (as if everything will be sold out if we don't get there by 7 a.m.).

As John Stossell of ABC's "20/20" says, "Give me a break!" Once again, families are being sold a bill of goods and most of us fall for it. We think that the more we fulfill our children's wishes, the happier they will be. There is no research that material possessions bring happiness.ï¿½and we all know it. We also likely agree that overgiving (as is often done) creates a deep well of "wants" that seem to never be satisfied. Research actually indicates that altruistic acts bring about a fulfilled sense of happiness.

I vividly recall two of the most fabulous Christmas presents everï¿½one from a psychiatrist colleague who gave a donation in my honor to a wonderful charitable organization that trains dogs to be needed companion helpers to physically or mentally challenged individuals. And the other gift was a donation by friends, again in my honor, to the humane society where they knew I had done years of volunteer work.

Usually such donations are made in memory of a person rather than in honor. I obviously prefer the in honor ones! Giving me such delightful presents is indeed an honor. So what are we doing when we're in that mall attempting to fulfill little Billy and Janie's wishes? Often we're making the child feel entitled to such which will make them act spoiled and bratty and have a terrible case of the "I wants."

The reason for the season, as I understand it, is about givingï¿½ not receiving. I encourage us all to involve our families in the many ways we can give to othersï¿½and not just a small token of our time or money to make us feel okayï¿½but a real concentrated effort to help those people (or animals) in real need. In these tough economic times it could make a huge difference to so many!

P.S. Please see my other column, The Counselor's Corner, concerning Automatic Negative Thoughts .

About The Author

Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT - Smile Notes

Comment Script

Comments


Name

E-mail (Will not appear online)

Homepage

Title

Comment


To prevent automated Bots form spamming, please enter the text you see in the image below in the appropriate input box. Your comment will only be submitted if the strings match. Please ensure that your browser supports and accepts cookies, or your comment cannot be verified correctly.