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The Friday following Thanksgiving used to mean that my mother, three aunts and I would go shopping all day at the mall for Christmas presents. I can fondly remember wonderful lunches, someone invariably getting lost, carrying packages to be put in the trunk of my car so more could be purchased... and tired feet! We all get caught up in the ads telling us about fabulous sales… commercials saying that our kids will be happy if we purchase xyz present for them… and, of course, getting there early (as if everything will be sold out if we don’t get there by 7 a.m.).
 See side bar for information on Sharon's wonderful books for elementary-age children. There is a discounted price on the 5-book series that even includes a darling Nicholas puppet.
These books are "co-authored" by Sharon's beloved cocker spaniel Nicholas who shares true antics by him and his animal buddies to gently and lovingly present important living skills. Each book is filled with problem-solving exercises, delightful illustrations and easy-to-follow suggestions. His inquisitive childlike qualities make him the perfect guide on difficult and important subjects. See "The Nicholas Collection" at www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott .
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As John Stossell of ABC’s “20/20” says, “Give me a break!” Once again, families are being sold a bill of goods and most of us fall for it. We think that the more we fulfill our children’s wishes, the happier they will be. There is no research that material possessions bring happiness.—and we all know it. We also likely agree that overgiving (as is often done) creates a deep well of “wants” that seem to never be satisfied. Research actually indicates that altruistic acts bring about a fulfilled sense of happiness.
I vividly recall two of the most fabulous Christmas presents ever—one from a psychiatrist colleague who gave a donation in my honor to a wonderful charitable organization that trains dogs to be needed companion helpers to physically or mentally challenged individuals. And the other gift was a donation by friends, again in my honor, to the humane society where they knew I had done years of volunteer work.
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Usually such donations are made in memory of a person rather than in honor. I obviously prefer the in honor ones! Giving me such delightful presents is indeed an honor. So what are we doing when we’re in that mall attempting to fulfill little Billy and Janie’s wishes? Often we’re making the child feel entitled to such which will make them act spoiled and bratty and have a terrible case of the “I wants.”
The reason for the season, as I understand it, is about giving… not receiving. I encourage us all to involve our families in the many ways we can give to others—and not just a small token of our time or money to make us feel okay—but a real concentrated effort to help those people (or animals) in real need. In these tough economic times it could make a huge difference to so many!
Copyright © 2009 Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
P.S. Please see my other column, The Counselor’s Corner, concerning Automatic Negative Thoughts.
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples’ lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she “co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life’s Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas’ Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon’s best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon’s many workshop topics that she can bring to your child’s school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.
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Listen to
Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
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Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
 Too Smart for Trouble, a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
 Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
 Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
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