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One of my dogs had died and I was finally ready to add another dog to the Scott household. Some of my animals have come from breeders and others from adoption or “just showing up.” When I’m selecting a puppy from a breeder, I very carefully look at her qualifications to make sure that I get a healthy puppy from a reputable source. So in April 2000 I flew to Nebraska to pick up a darling, 8 week-old black and tan cocker spaniel puppy. I had been watching her development via internet pictures from my home in Texas. When I got there I knew immediately which one she was among her five littermates—her tan markings were so dark and distinctive. I picked her up, turned around and saw one other litter: six buff babies all standing up in their kennel wanting to be picked up too. I immediately asked if the fat, little silver buff one was for sale and was told he was. Well, I bet you can guess the rest of this story… the next day I flew home with two tiny puppies in the carrier under my seat!
 See side bar for information on Sharon's wonderful books for elementary-age children. There is a discounted price on the 5-book series that even includes a darling Nicholas puppet.
These books are "co-authored" by Sharon's beloved cocker spaniel Nicholas who shares true antics by him and his animal buddies to gently and lovingly present important living skills. Each book is filled with problem-solving exercises, delightful illustrations and easy-to-follow suggestions. His inquisitive childlike qualities make him the perfect guide on difficult and important subjects. See "The Nicholas Collection" at www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott .
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Sasha, the black and tan puppy, looked like black velvet. She was a quiet, petite and prissy little girl. Cody, the silver buff, looked like a curly blonde football line blocker—all stocky and full of himself. Sasha had been born on January 27 and Cody on January 31 making her four days older. Since I brought them home at the same time I think they thought they were siblings. The other dogs welcomed them and they settled nicely into the family.
When they were six months old, though, they were reaching puberty and each wanted to be the “top” dog. They began fighting like cats and, well, dogs—badly behaved dogs that is! I have raised many dogs and am experienced at training and have always had well mannered companion animals. If you know anything about dog behavior, then you are aware that dogs respect age more than size. And in a multiple dog household, recognizing and respecting rank is all important to keep everyone happy. Their fights were actually drawing blood and sometimes it was difficult to separate them.
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Sasha and Cody had been obedience trained with positive methods, but they were now ignoring me. Since they were born only a few days apart, I didn’t think that age would matter and was treating him as the dominant dog due to his size—he outweighed her by several pounds. The fighting continued… I called my trainer and asked for help. My trainer said that possibly Sasha knows she is really the oldest and for me to begin treating her as the dominant dog (she gets greeted first, fed first, etc.). Within days the fighting stopped and never reoccurred!
How does this relate to your family? So often I hear parents say to the oldest child “We can’t do that because Bubba is too little to do it” or “Suzy Q doesn’t know not to kick you so don’t yell at her” or “I don’t care how old he is, your little brother has got to come to your birthday party… I don’t want him to feel left out… your friends are old enough to understand.” Rank does have its privileges. The young ones should be taught to respect the older siblings and should not be allowed to make their lives miserable. The older ones should get privileges age appropriate and that doesn’t mean the young ones get the same thing at the same time—their turn will come. Age does have its privileges.
Copyright 2008. Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
P.S. Please see my other column, The Counselor’s Corner
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples’ lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she “co-authored” with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life’s Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas’ Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon’s best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon’s many workshop topics that she can bring to your child’s school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.
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Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, is an internationally recognized family counselor with a private practice in north Texas. She is considered the leading expert on peer pressure having trained more than one million people across the U.S. and in Australia, Canada, Switzerland, South Africa, Spain, Malaysia, the Philippines, Turkey, and Micronesia in her proven techniques. For information on bringing Sharon to your community or school to present one of her 29 dynamic workshops for children, teens, parents, or educators, please see her website www.SharonScott.com .
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Listen to
Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
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Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
 Too Smart for Trouble, a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
 Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
 Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
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