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Researchers report that the average child in America communicates one-on-one with a parent only 7 minutes per week if you discount organizing activities, lectures, discussing chores, reprimands, etc. I don’t know how much it is in your family, but it might prove interesting for you to assess this in your own home. It is really important for parents and children to interact and communicate about a wide variety of topics and interests. This increases bonding, is an outward expression of love and can be fun learning more about each others’ worlds.
 See side bar for information on Sharon's wonderful books for elementary-age children. There is a discounted price on the 5-book series that even includes a darling Nicholas puppet.
These books are "co-authored" by Sharon's beloved cocker spaniel Nicholas who shares true antics by him and his animal buddies to gently and lovingly present important living skills. Each book is filled with problem-solving exercises, delightful illustrations and easy-to-follow suggestions. His inquisitive childlike qualities make him the perfect guide on difficult and important subjects. See "The Nicholas Collection" at www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott .
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What can you talk about? Just about anything although I would suggest, when your aim is good communication, to avoid any hint of a lecture otherwise your child may tune you out. Listen well and avoid discounting their opinions and ideas. Topics could include current events, childhood memories, calling grandparents or other older relative to ask questions about the “olden” days, summer plans and more. You can also play a game I made up called “The Game of 3s.” It involves naming your top three favorite (fill in the blank). It could be your top three favorite movies, foods, vacation spots, colors, animals, trees, books or places you want to visit someday (for me that’s Bora Bora, Morocco and Rwanda!). This game can stimulate a lot of great conversation!
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An ideal time to do this is during a Fun Family Activity (see Sidebar to click on a live radio show with me discussing this topic in greater detail). Fun Family Activities can be just about anything that any member of the family enjoys doing from cooking a Dinner with a Theme (everybody helps and perhaps you discuss topics around this Mexican Fiesta or Italian Spaghetti Dinner, etc.), walking the family dog, charades, board or card games, playing catch, Frisbee, hula hoops, badminton or basketball. Notice all of these are free and can be done in your own home or a park nearby. Sometimes it’s fun to go places for the Fun Family Activity (and spend $); however, it’s not necessary for family closeness. In fact, I don’t want kids to think that the further you get from home and the more money you spend, the more fun you’re having. That’s just plain wrong!
So talk more, stimulate your brains, dream big and love your family by talking and understanding each other more! Have fun!
Excerpted in part from Sharon’s classic guide for parents: Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed., www.hrdpress.com/sharonscott or 800-822-2801.
Copyright 2008. Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
P.S. Please see my other column, Counselor's Corner
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples’ lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she “co-authored” with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life’s Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas’ Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon’s best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon’s many workshop topics that she can bring to your child’s school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.
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Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, is an internationally recognized family counselor with a private practice in north Texas. She is considered the leading expert on peer pressure having trained more than one million people across the U.S. and in Australia, Canada, Switzerland, South Africa, Spain, Malaysia, the Philippines, Turkey, and Micronesia in her proven techniques. For information on bringing Sharon to your community or school to present one of her 29 dynamic workshops for children, teens, parents, or educators, please see her website www.SharonScott.com .
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Listen to
Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
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Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
 Too Smart for Trouble, a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
 Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
 Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
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