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As I type this I’m being "hindered" by my new 8 week old tri-color cocker spaniel puppy Colt whose laying in my lap asleep with his head on my keyboard. I’ve only known him for three days yet I already love him. I love him for who he is---not because he’s housebroken or knows some tricks because he doesn’t know much of anything yet. He does know how to cry loudly to be held!
 See side bar for information on Sharon's wonderful books for elementary-age children. There is a discounted price on the 5-book series that even includes a darling Nicholas puppet.
These books are "co-authored" by Sharon's beloved cocker spaniel Nicholas who shares true antics by him and his animal buddies to gently and lovingly present important living skills. Each book is filled with problem-solving exercises, delightful illustrations and easy-to-follow suggestions. His inquisitive childlike qualities make him the perfect guide on difficult and important subjects. See "The Nicholas Collection" at www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott .
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This makes me think of several teen clients over the past years whom I’ve had in my counseling office. I had one 15 year old say "If I do well at school, my parents smile and praise me. If I do one thing wrong, they seem so dissatisfied with me. I feel like a performance machine." Another youthful client said, "My little sisters get read to, played with and tucked in at night. I get a pat on the head IF I make a good grade at school.”
The morale to this story is clear. Teens and tweens are still children and need a LOT of affection from parents (even when they smirk when you hug them)! They need greetings, talks at bedtime, lots of listening as well as one-on-one time with parents. Of course, their education is important… yet they need to feel they are important just because of who they are and not what they do. The first words that are probably not the best to say when you pick them up from school is "How was school?" or "What did you make on your test?" Perhaps a better statement would be "Tell me about your day!"
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Don’t make the mistake because they look and act mature that they no longer need your attention because they do. The things you did with them when they were younger are probably still, in some fashion, applicable to using with them today. I hope you reflect on what they enjoyed most from you when they were little and begin (or increase) that activity with them.
I know I’ll still be holding Colt when he’s an old dog…
Copyright © 2010. Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
P.S. Please see my other column "The Counselor’s Corner"on peer pressure of sexting.
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples’ lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life’s Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas’ Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon’s best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801 or www.hrdpress.com/SharonScott . For more information on Sharon’s many workshop topics that she can bring to your child’s school or community, please see her website at www.SharonScott.com.
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Listen to
Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott
Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
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Family counselor Sharon Scott is the author of 8 books including this delightful series for children that is "co-authored" by her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes learning valuable life skills fun.
 Too Smart for Trouble, a best-selling, award-winning book, teaches children to think on their own and how to say no when asked to do something wrong.
 Not Better... Not Worse... Just Different is must reading for children to learn to be more sensitive to others, avoid bullying and know how to handle teasing.
 Life's Not Always Fair is a child's guide for managing emotions and learning to soothe oneself when mad, sad, scared or confused.
Nicholas' Values is a delightful guide helping children develop good character traits such as honesty, confidence, sharing and so much more!
Too Cool for Drugs helps children learn why and how to say no to drugs--drug education must begin in the home at an early age!
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