Sons and Daughters: Avoiding Gender Stereotypes
Armin Brott, parenting expert answers one dads question:
Q: I’ve got twins–a boy and a girl–and I find myself treating them differently. I know I shouldn’t. How can I keep myself from falling into stereotype traps and instead parent my children equally?
A: Well, it’s not going to be easy; old habits are hard to break. But here are few steps that ought to get you started:
- Don’t over-coddle your girls. When they cry from frustration let them know they’re capable of more and push them a little harder.
- Cuddle your boys more. It can’t hurt and it might even make them smarter.
- Take turns sharing household tasks with your wife–driving, lawn mowing, meal preparation, household repairs–with your spouse. In their early years your kids are going to get most of their ideas about gender roles from watching you. Sharing domestic responsibilities will make it less likely that your child will assume that there are “boy” jobs and “girl” jobs.
- Outside the home, expose your children to adults working in non-traditional occupations. You might want to start with a female pediatrician. And at school, look for classes that have some male teachers.
- Expose your kids to a full range of toys-before they have a chance to learn what they’re “supposed” to play with. But don’t beat yourself up if things don’t always go the way you want. Sometimes boys make guns out of toast and girls make babies out of towels.
- Respect your child’s wishes. If your child requests a gender-specific toy, you might want to gently challenge the choice, but snatching Barbies away from your daughter and “Stone Cold” Steve Austin figures away from your son will make them want those toys even more.
- Watch out for the media. No matter what you do, your child is going to get hit with hundreds of sex stereotyped messages–and it’ll happen right in your own living room. Watching television with your children and explaining what they’re seeing can minimize some of the negative messages they’re likely to get.
Michelle is an active member of the nanny community. She is the founder and president of Boston Area Nannies, Inc., a local non profit educational organization and has served on the International Nanny Association Board of Directors for the past five years. During that time she has also served as the associations 1st Vice President. Michelle is also a proud member of Christian Nannies.
She is called on by the media as a nanny and parenting expert, and has been affectionately dubbed America's Nanny. Michelle has appeared on television and has been featured in print.
To learn more about Michelle and to get your parenting tip of the day, please visit www.michellelarowe.com.
Books by Michelle LaRowe
A Mom's Ultimate Book of Lists: 100+ Lists to Save You Time, Money and Sanity - Grocery lists. Checklists. To-do lists. Lots of people love--and live by--lists. And parents are no exception. Today's families are busier than ever, and moms don't have the time or energy to search and scramble for the parenting information they are desperately seeking. This handy, practical reference guide will save time, money, and sanity for today's busy women.To learn more, visit www.michellelarowe.com.
Working Mom's 411 is your one-stop resource guide for navigating through the often choppy waters of managing kids, career and home. With extensive experience as a credentialed nanny, household manager and as a working mom herself, Michelle is sure to make you laugh out loud as she shares her expert take on the common dilemmas that working mothers face.
Nanny to the Rescue - America's nanny offers a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced babies and toddlers.
Nanny To the Rescue Again - Faced with multiple choices regarding school, friends, and activities coupled with the ever-widening influence of the outside world, parents of 6-12 year olds need help. America's nanny is back to offer a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced children.
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