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trans racial interacial  chld adoption
trans racial interrcial adoption

A Whole New World

Special Needs of Transracially Adopted Children

by Cheri King-Guler

The practice of adoption is drastically increasing in our country-- especially international adoption.Many people do not realize that adopted children have many issues and problems unique to theirown population. Frequently, people tend to focus on how fortunate a child is to be adopted, andthey do not always realize the issues adoptive children must face. While it is true that domesticand international children adopted from orphanages or foster care are generally brought into lovingand supportive families, and their lives are much improved in their new homes, these children stillhave intense emotional experiences regarding adoption to overcome.

It has been demonstrated that children become attached during early infancy, and, even if acaregiver is not a good provider of love and necessities, a child will still become attached. It is onlynatural that a child becomes attached to their culture, their world, and to everything they know.When a child is adopted and brought into a new family any time after they are a few months old,parents should expect that there will be complex issues to cope with to make their new adoptivechild's life truly happy.

Prevalence

Research has indicated that there is a significantly increased rate of mental health problems in adopted children, and that these difficulties do not improve over time without intervention. This factis true for both international and domestic adoptees. It is estimated that children in this populationmay be two to five times more likely to need psychological treatment than non-adopted children. Inaddition, research has found that adopted children comprise four to five percent of all children inour country referred for mental health services, and ten to fifteen percent of all children inresidential treatment centers. It is also a well-established fact that the older a child is at the time ofadoption, the more likely they are to develop behavioral and emotional problems.

There are specific issues that essentially all adopted children face. These difficulties occur whetherthe child was adopted domestically or internationally, across age and developmental levels, andracial or ethnic boundaries. It is important for mental health professionals to be aware of theseproblem areas in order to treat the many individuals whose lives have been touched by adoption.

Loss

Loss is a primary issue for adopted children, and adoption involves many losses for a child acrossthe lifespan. Losses can include the loss of birth parents, possibly siblings, family traditions,medical and birth histories, and often, people with a physical resemblance. "Losses of possibility"are also strongly felt by adopted children. This occurs when a child has no actual memory of theirbirth families, but still miss them acutely. In fact, children who have no memory of a relationshipwith their birth families may have stronger loss issues than those with early histories with theirbiological relatives, because of the tendency children have to romanticize and idealize the absentparent. Loss of self esteem also occurs because adopted children perceive themselves asabandoned due to internal flaws rather than any problems the birth parents may have beenexperiencing.

Attachment

Most adopted children experience attachment issues with their new families. Many adoptedchildren admit to routine and frequent thoughts about their birth families--often daily--even if thechild has never known them. It is necessary for children to grieve the loss of old attachmentsbefore forming new ones. Difficulties in attachment can cause children to have problems inpersonal relationships and emotional development. This can be reflected in a lack of ability to begenuinely close to another person as well as indiscriminate friendliness with unfamiliar adults. Poorattachment can occur due to insufficient nurturing relationships with biological parents, frequentcaregiver changes, or from unresponsive caregiver relationships in institutional settings. Without astrong early attachment relationship, children will not emotionally relate their new parents with thealleviation of physical and emotional pain. The results of poor attachment history can be veryfrustrating to adoptive parents who may find their expressions of nurturance and affection spurnedby a child who does not know how to accept them.

Grief

Grief is another very common experience for adopted children. Unfortunately, adoptive parentscannot "make grief better" for their adopted children. They must allow them to experience it and letit go. Children experiencing grief issues may show indications of anger, aggression, depression,oppositional behaviors, self-image conflicts, and lack of communication.

Identity Conflicts

One of the best-researched problem areas in adoption studies is the area of identity conflicts.Issues of identity are major for adopted children, especially when they reach their teens. In fact,the typical teenage identity crisis is doubled for adopted children because they must cope with theidentities of both their birth and adoptive families. "How can I have a future if I don't have a past?"is a frequently asked question. Loss of birth culture is another cause for identity issues, and it isessential for a transracial adoptive family to deal with issues of ethnicity for a child to develop astrong sense of self. Combining birth culture with adoptive culture is a difficult task that carries intoadulthood for the adopted child.

Facilitating Positive Adoption Outcomes

Families can do much to weather the difficult issues faced with adoption. Parents need to beeducated on the importance of discussing adoption issues with their children in the preschoolyears, and to do so with as little stress and negativity as possible. It is important that parents haveconfidence that their child will be able to cope with the adoption experience, because the moreassured parents are about their child's ability to cope, the better the outcome. Talking aboutadoption can serve as a way to normalize the experience while acknowledging differences.

Parents need to understand that children may have feelings of being defective, and therefore it isimportant to challenge those beliefs by pointing out their strengths and achievements. Childrenneed to understand that they were put up for adoption because of their birth parent's issues, notbecause there was anything wrong with them. In addition, they need to know it was a very difficultdecision for their birth parents to make. Adoptive parents should always stress the permanence ofthe family unit, and understand that their child may have fears about family dissolution. It is alsohelpful to focus on similarities between the adopted child and his or her family. For example, achild may be skilled in art like his or her adopted mother, or adoptive siblings might both betalented in math. Also helpful to the adoptive child's feelings of importance to the family is theestablishment and observance of "Homecoming Day-- an annual holiday celebrating the arrival ofthe adopted child into the family.

Adoption can be one of the most positive and rewarding experiences a person can have. However,almost all adoptive children experience difficult core issues of loss, possibly troublesomeattachment relationships, grief, and identity conflicts. These experiences can be intense and verydifficult to manage. It is important that parents understand these issues in order to help their childbe emotionally healthy individuals.

Adoptive Parents Presouces

International Adoption

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