Famous Quotes |
| Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy. |
Edgar Bergen, (Charlie McCarthy) |
US comedian & ventriloquist
(1903 - 1978) |
| What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is
alive? |
Irv Kupcinet |
| Never explain--your friends do not need it and your enemies will not
believe you anyway. |
Elbert Hubbard |
US author (1856 - 1915) |
| First, I do not sit down at my desk
to put into verse something that is already clear in my mind. If it were clear in my mind, I should have no incentive or
need to write about it. We do not write in order to be understood; we write
in order to understand. |
Robert Cecil Day Lewis |
| Because women live creatively, they
rarely experience the need to depict or write about that which to them is a primary experience and which men know only
at a second remove. Women create naturally, men create artificially. |
Ashley Montagu |
| Thoughts give birth to a creative
force that is neither elemental nor sidereal. Thoughts create a new heaven, a new firmament, a new source of energy, from
which new arts flow. When a man undertakes to create something, he
establishes a new heaven, as it were and from it the work that he desires to
create flows into him. For such is the immensity of man that he is greater
than heaven and earth. |
Philipus Aureolus Paracelsus |
German (Swiss-born) alchemist & physician (1493 - 1541) |
| Creative power, is that receptive
attitude of expectancy which makes a mold into which the plastic and as yet undifferentiated substance can flow and take
the desired form. |
Thomas Troward |
| It is folly for an eminent person to
think of escaping censure, and a weakness to be affected by it. All the illustrious persons of antiquity, and indeed of
every age, have passed through this fiery persecution. There is no defense
against reproach but obscurity; it is a kind of concomitant to greatness, as
satires and invectives were an essential part of a Roman triumph. |
Joseph Addison |
English essayist, poet, & politician
(1672 - 1719) |
| A good writer is not necessarily a
good book critic. No more so than a good drunk is automatically a good bartender. |
Jim Bishop |
| If you believe in what you are
doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work of the world has been done against seeming
impossibilities. The thing is to get the work done. |
Dale Carnegie |
| Most of our censure of others is
only oblique praise of self, uttered to show the wisdom and superiority of the speaker. It has all the insidiousness of
self-praise, and all the ill-desert of falsehood. |
Tyron Edwards |
| It is a barren kind of criticism which tells you what a thing is not. |
R. W. Griswold |
| Ours is an age of criticism, to
which everything must be subjected. The sacredness of religion, and the authority of legislation, are by many regarded as
grounds for exemption from the examination by this tribunal, But, if they are
exempted, and cannot lay claim to sincere respect, which reason accords only
to that which has stood the test of a free and public examination. |
Immanuel Kant |
German philosopher (1724 - 1804) |
| Doubtless criticism was originally
benignant, pointing out the beauties of a work rather that its defects. The passions of men have made it malignant, as a
bad heart of Procrustes turned the bed, the symbol of repose, into an
instrument of torture. |
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow |
US poet (1807 - 1882) |
| We are suffering from too much sarcasm. |
Marianne Moore |
| Ten censure wrong, for one that writes amiss. |
Alexander Pope, Essay on Criticism |
English poet & satirist (1688
- 1744) |
| In my wide association in life,
meeting with many and great men in various parts of the world, I have yet to find the man, however great or exalted his
station, who did not do better work and put forth greater effort under a
spirit of approval than he would ever do under a spirit of criticism. |
Charles M. Schwab |
| Neither praise nor blame is the
object of true criticism. Justly to discriminate, firmly to establish, wisely to proscribe, and honestly to award - these are
the true aims and duties of criticism. |
Simms |
| Half of the secular unrest and
dismal, profane sadness of modern society comes from the vain ideas that every man is bound to be a critic for life. |
Henry Van Dyke |
| There is one way to handle the ignorant and malicious critic. Ignore him. |
Author Unknown |
| It is usually best to be generous with praise, but cautious with
criticism. |
Author Unknown |
| Criticism is the disapproval of
people, not for having faults, but having faults different from your own. |
Author Unknown |
| It is strange that we do not temper
our resentment of criticism with a thought for our many faults which have escaped us. |
Author Unknown |
| Curiosity in children, is but an
appetite for knowledge. One great reason why children abandon themselves wholly to silly pursuits and trifle away their
time insipidly is, because they find their curiosity balked, and their
inquiries neglected. |
John Locke |
English empiricist philosopher
(1632 - 1704) |
| A man should live if only to satisfy his curiosity. |
Yiddish Proverb |
| As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so a life well used brings a
happy death. |
Leonardo Da Vinci |
Italian engineer, painter, & sculptor
(1452 - 1519) |
| It is a sign of a creeping inner death when we no longer can praise the
living. |
Eric Hoffer |
(1902 - 1983) |
| Nothing fails like success. |
Gerald Nachman |
| People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing
up. |
Ogden Nash |
US humorist & poet (1902 -
1971) |
| I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy
something. |
Jackie Mason |
US comedian (1934 - ) |
| There must be more to life than having everything. |
Maurice Sendak |
US juvenile illustrator (1928
- ) |
| Life is just one damned thing after another. |
Elbert Hubbard |
US author (1856 - 1915) |
| My problem lies in reconciling my gross habits with my net income. |
Errol Flynn |
US (Australian-Tasmanian-born) movie actor (1909 - 1959) |
| The wages of sin are unreported. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory. |
Georges Clemenceau |
French politician (1841 - 1929) |
| Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics. |
Fletcher Knebel |
| Editor: a person employed by a
newspaper, whose business it is to separate the wheat from the chaff, and to see that the chaff is printed. |
Elbert Hubbard |
US author (1856 - 1915) |
| When dealing with the insane, the best method is to pretend to be sane. |
Hermann Hesse |
Swiss (German-born) author (1877 -
1962) |
| Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under
observation. |
Walter Winchell |
US gossip columnist & broadcast journalist (1897 - 1972) |
| Television has proved that people will look at anything rather than each
other. |
Ann Landers |
US advice columnist (1918 - 2002) |
| Ninety percent of everything is crap. |
Theodore Sturgeon |
US science fiction author (1918 -
1985) |
| All phone calls are obscene. |
Karen Elizabeth Gordon |
| Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up
the pillow was gone. |
Tommy Cooper |
| I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died. |
Richard Diran |
| One machine can do the work of fifty
ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. |
Elbert Hubbard |
US author (1856 - 1915) |
| Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. |
Evan Davis |
| I shot an arrow into the air, and it stuck. |
Graffito, in Los Angeles |
| Nothing ever goes away. |
Barry Commoner |
US biologist & educator (1917
- ) |
| God help those who do not help themselves. |
Wilson Mizner |
US screenwriter (1876 - 1933) |
| Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions
at all. |
Georg Christoph Lichtenberg |
(1742 - 1799) |
| It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend. |
William Blake |
English engraver, illustrator, & poet
(1757 - 1827) |
| I think it would be a good idea. |
Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization |
Indian ascetic & nationalist leader
(1869 - 1948) |
| When a thing has been said and well, have no scruple. Take it and copy
it. |
Anatole France |
French novelist (1844 - 1924) |
| The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be
taken seriously. |
Hubert H. Humphrey |
US politician (1911 - 1978) |
| They say that God is everywhere, and yet we always think of Him as
somewhat of a recluse. |
Emily Dickinson |
US poet (1830 - 1886) |
| Reality is something you rise above. |
Liza Minnelli |
US actress & singer (1946
- ) |
| Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. |
Jane Wagner, (and Lily Tomlin) |
| The purpose of life is to fight maturity. |
Dick Werthimer |
| Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. |
Truman Capote |
US author (1924 - 1984) |
| How is it possible to find meaning in a finite world, given my waist and
shirt size? |
Woody Allen |
US movie actor, comedian, & director
(1935 - ) |
| Operationally, God is beginning to
resemble not a ruler but the last fading smile of a cosmic Cheshire cat. |
Sir Julian Huxley |
English administrator & biologist
(1887 - 1975) |
| Not only is life a bitch, it has puppies. |
Adrienne E. Gusoff |
US teacher,
humorist and greeting card writer |
| I have often depended on the blindness of strangers. |
Adrienne E. Gusoff |
US teacher,
humorist and greeting card writer |
| My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping. |
Rita Rudner |
US comedian |
| When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. |
Henny Youngman |
US (English-born) comedian (1906 -
1998) |
| I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything
on. |
Oscar Levant |
(1906 - 1972) |
| Children are all foreigners. |
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
US essayist & poet (1803 -
1882) |
| The secret of eternal youth is arrested development. |
Alice Roosevelt Longworth |
US author & wit (1884 - 1980) |
| It is always the best policy to
speak the truth--unless, of course, you are an exceptionally good liar. |
Jerome K. Jerome |
British humor writer (1859 - 1927) |
| I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. |
Rita Rudner |
US comedian |
| Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. |
Francois de La Rochefoucauld |
French author & moralist (1613
- 1680) |
| The entire economy of the Western world is built on things that cause
cancer. |
From the 1985 movie "Bliss" |
| I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going
to those places. |
Henny Youngman |
US (English-born) comedian (1906 -
1998) |
| They certainly give very strange names to diseases. |
Plato |
Greek author & philosopher in Athens
(427 BC - 347 BC) |
| One has a greater sense of
intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience. |
Alice James |
| It is impossible to enjoy idling thoroughly unless one has plenty of work
to do. |
Jerome K. Jerome |
British humor writer (1859 - 1927) |
| What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. |
Dave Barry |
US columnist & humorist (1947
- ) |
| I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. |
Bertrand Russell |
British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970) |
| I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure. |
John D. Rockefeller |
US oil industrialist & philanthropist
(1839 - 1937) |
| Living in a vacuum sucks. |
Adrienne E. Gusoff |
US teacher,
humorist and greeting card writer |
| Architecture is the art of how to waste space. |
Philip Johnson |
US architect (1906 - 2005) |
| It is a common delusion that you make things better by talking about
them. |
Dame Rose Macaulay |
English novelist (1881 - 1958) |
| Blame someone else and get on with your life. |
Alan Woods |
| We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have
never deceived us. |
Samuel Johnson |
English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 - 1784) |
| I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there. |
Herb Caen |
| We forfeit three-fourths of ourselves in order to be like other people. |
Arthur Schopenhauer |
German philosopher (1788 - 1860) |
| Fashion is something that goes in one year and out the other. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. |
Henry Kissinger |
US (German-born) diplomat & scholar
(1923 - ) |
| Brass bands are all very well in their place - outdoors and several miles
away. |
Sir Thomas Beecham |
English conductor (1879 - 1961) |
| The great thing about television is
that if something important happens anywhere in the world, day or night, you can always change the channel. |
From "Taxi" |
| Nobody in the game of football
should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein. |
Joe Theismann, Former quarterback |
| Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared
brain dead. |
Erma Bombeck |
US author & humorist (1927 -
1996) |
| Chess is as elaborate a waste of
human intelligence as you can find outside an advertising agency. |
Raymond Chandler |
US detective novelist & screenwriter
(1888 - 1959) |
| All paid jobs absorb and degrade the mind. |
Aristotle |
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC) |
| We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. |
Jeff Marder |
| I detest life-insurance agents; they always argue that I shall some day
die, which is not so. |
Stephen Leacock |
Canadian economist & humorist
(1869 - 1944) |
| The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to
have any. |
Katharine Whitehorn |
| There is no monument dedicated to the memory of a committee. |
Lester J. Pourciau |
| An expert is a person who has made all the mistakes that can be made in a
very narrow field. |
Niels Bohr |
Danish physicist (1885 - 1962) |
| Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. |
Arthur Schopenhauer |
German philosopher (1788 - 1860) |
| The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism. |
Norman Brenner |
| I believe that all government is evil, and that trying to improve it is
largely a waste of time. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be
the designated driver. |
Jay Leno |
US comedian & television host
(1950 - ) |
| Food is an important part of a balanced diet. |
Fran Lebowitz |
US writer and humorist (1950
- ) |
| The great thing about democracy is that it gives every voter a chance to
do something stupid. |
Art Spander |
| Of those who say nothing, few are silent. |
Thomas Neill |
| Never attribute to malice what can be adequately explained by stupidity. |
Nick Diamos |
| War is not nice. |
Barbara Bush |
US wife of George Bush 1945 (1925
- ) |
| You cannot shake hands with a clenched fist. |
Indira Gandhi, quoted by Christian Science Monitor, May 17, 1982 |
Indian politician (1917 - 1984) |
| An author is a fool who, not content
with boring those he lives with, insists on boring future generations. |
Charles de Montesquieu |
French lawyer & philosopher
(1689 - 1755) |
| Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. |
Douglas Adams |
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001) |
| Anyone who is capable of getting
themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. |
Douglas Adams |
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001) |
| Human beings, who are almost unique
in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to
do so. |
Douglas Adams |
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001) |
| The difference between the right
word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| In the beginning, the universe was
created. This made a lot of people very angry, and has been widely regarded as a bad idea. |
Douglas Adams |
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001) |
| There is a theory which states that
if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be
replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another
theory which states that this has already happened. |
Douglas Adams |
English humorist & science fiction novelist (1952 - 2001) |
| The creator of the universe works in
mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers. |
Scott Adams |
US cartoonist (1957 - ) |
| Civilization is the distance man has placed between himself and his
excreta. |
Brian Aldiss |
| Houston, Tranquility Base here. The eagle has landed. |
Buzz Aldrin |
| Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee. |
Muhammad Ali |
US boxer (1942 - ) |
| The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30
years of his life. |
Muhammad Ali |
US boxer (1942 - ) |
| It is a good morning exercise for a
research scientist to discard a pet hypothesis every day before breakfast. It keeps him young. |
Konrad Lorenz |
German (Austrian-born) ethologist
(1903 - 1989) |
| It was a book to kill time for those who like it better dead. |
Dame Rose Macaulay |
English novelist (1881 - 1958) |
| The good people sleep much better at
night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more. |
Woody Allen |
US movie actor, comedian, & director
(1935 - ) |
| I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes.
It involves Russia. |
Woody Allen |
US movie actor, comedian, & director
(1935 - ) |
| More than any time in history
mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray
that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. |
Woody Allen |
US movie actor, comedian, & director
(1935 - ) |
| Interestingly, according to modern
astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought---particularly for people who can never remember where
they have left things. |
Woody Allen |
US movie actor, comedian, & director
(1935 - ) |
| Our lives improve only when we take
chances -- and the first and most difficult risk we can take is to be honest with ourselves. |
Walter Anderson |
| From what we get, we can make a living; what we give, however, makes a
life. |
Arthur Ashe |
| The three fundamental Rules of
Robotics...One: a robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm...Two:..a
robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders
would conflict with the First Law...Three: a robot must protect its own
existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First and
Second Laws. |
Isaac Asimov |
US science fiction novelist & scholar
(1920 - 1992) |
| The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool. |
Jane Wagner |
| You white people are so strange. We think it is very primitive for a
child to have only two parents. |
Australian Aboriginal Elder |
| The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. |
Walter Bagehot |
English economist & journalist
(1826 - 1877) |
| Television is the first truly
democratic culture -- the first culture available to everybody and entirely governed by what the people want. The most terrifying
thing is what people do want. |
Clive Barnes |
| Consider the postage stamp: its
usefulness consists in the ability to stick to one thing till it gets there. |
Josh Billings |
US Humorist (1818 - 1885) |
| Never express yourself more clearly than you are able to think. |
Niels Bohr |
Danish physicist (1885 - 1962) |
| The opposite of a correct statement
is a false statement. But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth. |
Niels Bohr |
Danish physicist (1885 - 1962) |
| For most folks, no news is good news; for the press, good news is not
news. |
Gloria Borger |
| Laughter is the shortest distance between two people. |
Victor Borge |
US (Danish-born) comedian & pianist
(1909 - 2000) |
| Feeding the starving poor only increases their number. |
Ben Bova |
| Documentation is like sex: when it
is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than nothing. |
Dick Brandon |
| War is like love; it always finds a way. |
Bertolt Brecht |
German Communist & dramatist
(1898 - 1956) |
| What happens to the hole when the cheese is gone? |
Bertolt Brecht |
German Communist & dramatist
(1898 - 1956) |
| All technology should be assumed guilty until proven innocent. |
David Brower |
| Take away the right to say "fuck" and you take away the right
to say "fuck the government." |
Lenny Bruce |
(1923 - 1966) |
| You will never find time for anything. If you want time you must make it. |
Charles Buxton |
| An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought. |
Simon Cameron |
US financier & politician
(1799 - 1889) |
| How far you go in life depends on
your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak
and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these. |
George Washington Carver |
| Rest in peace. The mistake shall not be repeated. |
Cenotaph in Hiroshima |
| Historians are like deaf people who go on answering questions that no one
has asked them. |
Leo Tolstoy |
Russian mystic & novelist
(1828 - 1910) |
| The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears. |
John Vance Cheney |
| It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God--but to
create him. |
Arthur C. Clarke |
English physicist & science fiction author (1917 -
) |
| There are two types of people--those
who come into a room and say, "Well, here I am!" and those who come in and say, "Ah, there you are." |
Frederick L Collins |
| Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. |
Bill Cosby |
US comedian & television actor
(1937 - ) |
| Human beings are the only creatures that allow their children to come
back home. |
Bill Cosby |
US comedian & television actor
(1937 - ) |
| You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment
if you do not trust enough. |
Frank Crane |
| A good listener is a good talker with a sore throat. |
Katharine Whitehorn |
| Exterminate. |
The Daleks (Doctor Who) |
| The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad |
Salvador Dali |
Spanish Catalan Surrealist painter
(1904 - 1989) |
| When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that
is news. |
Charles Anderson Dana |
| The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half
by our children. |
Clarence Darrow |
US defense lawyer (1857 - 1938) |
| Reality is that which refuses to go away when I stop believing in it. |
Phillip K. Dick |
| Love your enemies just in case your friends turn out to be a bunch of
bastards. |
R. A. Dickson |
| If you can dream it, you can do it. |
Walt Disney |
US cartoonist & movie producer
(1901 - 1966) |
| A man is a success if he gets up in
the morning and gets to bed at night, and in between he does what he wants to do. |
Bob Dylan |
US singer & songwriter (1941
- ) |
| Never judge a book by its movie. |
J.W. Eagan |
| Go ahead, make my day. |
Dean Riesner, Clint Eastwood as Dirty Harry in "Sudden Impact",
1983 |
| People ask for criticism, but they only want praise. |
W. Somerset Maugham |
English dramatist & novelist
(1874 - 1965) |
| History teaches us that men and
nations behave wisely when they have exhausted all other alternatives. |
Abba Eban |
Israeli (S. African-born) diplomat & politician (1915 - 2002) |
| He who lives by the sword, will eventually be wiped out by some bastard
with a sawn off shotgun |
Steady Eddy |
| I hate war as only a soldier who has
lived it can, only as one who has seen its brutality, its futility, its stupidity. |
Dwight D. Eisenhower |
US general & Republican politician
(1890 - 1969) |
| It is only the great men who are
truly obscene. If they had not dared to be obscene, they could never have dared to be great. |
Havelock Ellis |
English sexual psychologist (1859
- 1939) |
| The two most abundant things in the universe are Hydrogren and stupidity. |
Harlan Ellison |
US science fiction author & screenwriter (1934 -
) |
| Never give a sucker an even break. |
W. C. Fields |
US actor (1880 - 1946) |
| Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont
either. |
Joseph Fischer |
| The test of a first-fate
intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function. One should,
for example, be able to see that things are hopeless and yet be determined to
make them otherwise. |
F. Scott Fitzgerald |
US novelist (1896 - 1940) |
| Bond. James Bond. |
Ian Fleming |
| Anyone who says businessmen deal in facts, not fiction, has never read
old five-year projections. |
Malcom Forbes |
| History is more or less bunk. |
Henry Ford |
US automobile industrialist (1863
- 1947) |
| My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me. |
Henry Ford |
US automobile industrialist (1863
- 1947) |
| He who chooses the beginning of the
road chooses the place it leads to. It is the means that determines the end. |
Harry Emerson Fosdick |
US clergyman (1878 - 1969) |
| The conventional view serves to protect us from the painful job of
thinking. |
John Kenneth Galbraith |
US (Canadian-born) administrator & economist (1908 -
) |
| I could prove God statistically. |
George Gallup |
US statistician & pollster
(1901 - 1984) |
| The good man is the friend of all living things. |
Mahatma Gandhi |
Indian ascetic & nationalist leader
(1869 - 1948) |
| Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself. |
Jane Wagner |
| An eye for eye only ends up making the whole world blind. |
Mahatma Gandhi |
Indian ascetic & nationalist leader
(1869 - 1948) |
| The only tyrant I accept in this world is the still voice within. |
Mahatma Gandhi |
Indian ascetic & nationalist leader
(1869 - 1948) |
