Famous Quotes
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| It is by universal misunderstanding that all agree. For if, by ill luck, people understood each other, they would never agree.
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Charles Baudelaire
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French poet
�
(1821 - 1867)
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| Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Mark Twain
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US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit
�
(1835 - 1910)
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| Politics is supposed to be the second oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.
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Ronald Reagan
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40th president of US
�
(1911 - 2004)
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| Skill without imagination is craftsmanship and gives us many useful objects such as wickerwork picnic baskets. Imagination without skill gives us modern art.
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Tom Stoppard, "Artist Descending a Staircase"
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British dramatist & screenwriter
�
(1937 -
�
)
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| There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it.
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Denis Diderot
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French author, encyclopedist, & philosopher
�
(1713 - 1784)
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| The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.
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Jean Kerr
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| The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself.
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Will Rogers
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US humorist & showman
�
(1879 - 1935)
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| Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune.
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Kin Hubbard
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�
(1868 - 1930)
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| A nation is a society united by delusions about its ancestry and by common hatred of its neighbors.
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William Ralph Inge
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English author & Anglican prelate
�
(1860 - 1954)
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| Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.
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Eric Sevareid
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| Trying to determine what is going on in the world by reading newspapers is like trying to tell the time by watching the second hand of a clock.
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Ben Hecht
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US author & dramatist
�
(1893 - 1964)
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| This is the devilish thing about foreign affairs: they are foreign and will not always conform to our whim.
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James Reston, New York Times, June 12 1968
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�
(1909 -
�
)
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| A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not.
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Henry Fielding
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English dramatist & novelist
�
(1707 - 1754)
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| No opera plot can be sensible, for people do not sing when they are feeling sensible.
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W. H. Auden
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US (English-born) critic & poet
�
(1907 - 1973)
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| I find nothing more depressing than optimism.
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Paul Fussell
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| Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.
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Ogden Nash
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US humorist & poet
�
(1902 - 1971)
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| You must first have a lot of patience to learn to have patience.
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Stanislaw J. Lec, "Unkempt Thoughts"
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Polish writer
�
(1909 - 1966)
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| Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
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George Bernard Shaw
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Irish dramatist & socialist
�
(1856 - 1950)
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| People will buy anything that is one to a customer.
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Sinclair Lewis
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US novelist
�
(1885 - 1951)
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| There are more fools in the world than there are people.
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Heinrich Heine
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German critic & poet
�
(1797 - 1856)
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| Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.
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Sir Ralph Richardson, quoted in New York Herald Tribune, May 19, 1946
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�
(1902 - 1983)
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| There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.
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William James
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US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist
�
(1842 - 1910)
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| Illusion is the first of all pleasures.
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Oscar Wilde
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Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
�
(1854 - 1900)
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| I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise.
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Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
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English letter author & poet
�
(1689 - 1762)
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| Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.
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Ernest Benn
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| Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
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Lester B. Pearson
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Canadian Prime Minister 1963-1968
�
(1897 - 1972)
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| Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.
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Robert Louis Stevenson
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Scottish author
�
(1850 - 1894)
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| If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure?
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Harry Shearer
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| Any American who is prepared to run for president should automatically, by definition, be disqualified from ever doing so.
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Gore Vidal
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US author & dramatist
�
(1925 -
�
)
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| Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer.
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Mark Twain
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US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit
�
(1835 - 1910)
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| Usually, terrible things that are done with the excuse that progress requires them are not really progress at all, but just terrible things.
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Russell Baker
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US columnist & journalist
�
(1925 -
�
)
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| Everything in the world may be endured except continued prosperity.
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Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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German dramatist, novelist, poet, & scientist
�
(1749 - 1832)
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| To err is dysfunctional, to forgive co-dependent.
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Berton Averre
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| The public is wonderfully tolerant. It forgives everything except genius.
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Oscar Wilde, The Critic as Artist, 1891
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Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
�
(1854 - 1900)
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| The public will believe anything, so long as it is not founded on truth.
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Edith Sitwell
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English biographer, critic, novelist, & poet
�
(1887 - 1964)
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| One can survive everything, nowadays, except death, and live down everything except a good reputation.
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Oscar Wilde
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Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
�
(1854 - 1900)
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| Everything is funny as long as it is happening to Somebody Else.
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Will Rogers, Illiterate Digest (1924), "Warning to Jokers: lay off the prince"
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US humorist & showman
�
(1879 - 1935)
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| An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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Robert Benchley
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US actor, author, & humorist
�
(1889 - 1945)
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| The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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Robert Benchley
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US actor, author, & humorist
�
(1889 - 1945)
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| The penalty for success is to be bored by the people who used to snub you.
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Nancy Astor
|
British politician
�
(1879 - 1964)
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| The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward.
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John Maynard Keynes
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English economist
�
(1883 - 1946)
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| For a list of all the ways technology has failed to improve the quality of life, please press three.
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Alice Kahn
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| Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.
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Alfred Hitchcock
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British movie director
�
(1899 - 1980)
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| The one function TV news performs very well is that when there is no news we give it to you with the same emphasis as if there were.
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David Brinkley
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US television newscaster
�
(1920 - 2003)
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| Television has raised writing to a new low.
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Samuel Goldwyn
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US (Polish-born) movie producer
�
(1882 - 1974)
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| There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking.
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Thomas A. Edison
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US inventor
�
(1847 - 1931)
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| He can compress the most words into the smallest ideas of any man I ever met.
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Abraham Lincoln
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16th president of US
�
(1809 - 1865)
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| His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.
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Woody Allen
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US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
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| The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.
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Victor Borge
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US (Danish-born) comedian & pianist
�
(1909 - 2000)
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| Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
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W. L. George
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| Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.
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Will Rogers, New York TImes, Apr. 29, 1930
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US humorist & showman
�
(1879 - 1935)
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| Washington is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
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John F. Kennedy
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US Democratic politician
�
(1917 - 1963)
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| Everyone thinks of changing the world, but no one thinks of changing himself.
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Leo Tolstoy
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Russian mystic & novelist
�
(1828 - 1910)
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| Talking with you is sort of the conversational equivalent of an out of body experience.
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Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
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US cartoonist
�
(1958 -
�
)
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| Speak the truth, but leave immediately after.
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Slovenian Proverb
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| Anything not worth doing is worth not doing well. Think about it.
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Elias Schwartz
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| Everything you can imagine is real.
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Pablo Picasso
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Spanish Cubist painter
�
(1881 - 1973)
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| Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
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Bob Wells
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| For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
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Bob Wells
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| Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
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Will Durant
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US historian
�
(1885 - 1981)
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| Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.
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Mahatma Gandhi
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Indian ascetic & nationalist leader
�
(1869 - 1948)
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| Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
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Henry David Thoreau
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US Transcendentalist author
�
(1817 - 1862)
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| The key to being a good manager is keeping the people who hate me away from those who are still undecided.
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Casey Stengel
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US baseball manager
�
(1890 - 1975)
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| Words ought to be a little wild for they are the assaults of thought on the unthinking.
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John Maynard Keynes
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English economist
�
(1883 - 1946)
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| They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.
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Benjamin Franklin, Historical Review of Pennsylvania, 1759
|
US author, diplomat, inventor, physicist, politician, & printer
�
(1706 - 1790)
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| That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
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William J. H. Boetcker
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| My definition of a free society is a society where it is safe to be unpopular.
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Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech in Detroit, 7 Oct. 1952
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US diplomat & Democratic politician
�
(1900 - 1965)
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| The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.
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Dorothy Nevill
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| The direct use of force is such a poor solution to any problem, it is generally employed only by small children and large nations.
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David Friedman
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| I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
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Harry S Truman
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33rd president of US
�
(1884 - 1972)
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| In real life, unlike in Shakespeare, the sweetness of the rose depends upon the name it bears. Things are not only what they are. They are, in very important respects, what they seem to be.
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Hubert H. Humphrey
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US politician
�
(1911 - 1978)
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| The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.
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Albert Einstein
|
US (German-born) physicist
�
(1879 - 1955)
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| God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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Voltaire
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French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist
�
(1694 - 1778)
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| Grown-ups never understand anything for themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.
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Antoine de Saint-Exupery, "The Little Prince", 1943
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French writer
�
(1900 - 1944)
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| She had a pretty gift for quotation, which is a serviceable substitute for wit.
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W. Somerset Maugham
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English dramatist & novelist
�
(1874 - 1965)
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| It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either of them.
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Mark Twain, Following the Equator (1897)
|
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit
�
(1835 - 1910)
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| The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.
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Bertrand Russell, The Philosophy of Logical Atomism
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British author, mathematician, & philosopher
�
(1872 - 1970)
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| Punctuality is the virtue of the bored.
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Evelyn Waugh, Diaries of Evelyn Waugh (1976)
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English novelist & satirist
�
(1903 - 1966)
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| It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few virtues.
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Abraham Lincoln
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16th president of US
�
(1809 - 1865)
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| The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
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e e cummings
|
US poet
�
(1894 - 1962)
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| Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
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Albert Camus
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French existentialist author & philosopher
�
(1913 - 1960)
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| A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.
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Roald Dahl, (Willy Wonka) Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
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British juvenile author
�
(1916 - 1990)
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| Cynics regarded everybody as equally corrupt... Idealists regarded everybody as equally corrupt, except themselves.
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Robert Anton Wilson
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| A lot of people mistake a short memory for a clear conscience.
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Doug Larson
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| My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
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Steven Wright
|
US comedian and actor
�
(1955 -
�
)
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| The young have aspirations that never come to pass, the old have reminiscences of what never happened.
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Saki
|
British (Burman-born) short story author
�
(1870 - 1916)
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| Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance.
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Sam Brown, Washington Post, 1977
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| What is written without effort is in general read without pleasure.
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Samuel Johnson
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English author, critic, & lexicographer
�
(1709 - 1784)
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| My work is a game, a very serious game.
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M. C. Escher
|
Dutch artist
�
(1898 - 1972)
|
| Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
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Laurence J. Peter
|
US educator & writer
�
(1919 - 1988)
|
| Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives.
|
William Dement
|
| The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn.
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Alvin Toffler
|
| Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools, because they have to say something.
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Plato
|
Greek author & philosopher in Athens
�
(427 BC - 347 BC)
|
| Solutions are not the answer.
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Richard Nixon
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| Make money, money, honestly if you can;<br>if not, by any means at all, make money.
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Quintus Horatius Flaccus [Horace] 65BC - 8BC
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| A nation which does not remember what it was yesterday, does not know what it is today, nor what it is trying to do. We are trying to do a futile thing if we do not know where we came from or what we have been about.
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Woodrow Wilson
|
28th president of US
�
(1856 - 1924)
|
| We have staked the whole future of American civilization, not upon the power of government, far from it. We have staked the future of all of our political institutions upon the capacity of mankind of self-government; upon the capacity of each and all of us to govern ourselves, to control ourselves, to sustain ourselves according to the Ten Commandments of God.
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James Madison, (attributed)
|
4th president of US
�
(1751 - 1836)
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| ... Religion ... [is] the basis and foundation of government ... before any man can be considered as a member of civil society, he must be considered as a subject of the Governor of the Universe.
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James Madison
|
4th president of US
�
(1751 - 1836)
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| We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion. Avarice, ambition, revenge or gallantry would break the strongest cords of our Constitution as a whale goes through a net. Our Constitution is designed only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate for any other.
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John Adams
|
US diplomat & politician
�
(1735 - 1826)
|
| Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please
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Mark Twain
|
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit
�
(1835 - 1910)
|
| If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.
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Rush (the band), "Freewill"
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| History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.
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Churchill
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| A dog will look up on you; a cat will look down on you; however, a pig will see you eye to eye and know it has found an equal.
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Churchill
|
| The unexamined life is not worth living to a human.
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Attributed by Plato to Socrates, "Apology"
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| Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm, but willing to draw blood in its defense.
|
Mark A. Overby
|
| Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
|
Ken Hakuta
|
| May the road rise to meet you,<br> May the wind be always at your back,<br> May the sun shine
warm upon your face,<br> the rains fall soft upon your fields and,<br> until we meet again may god hold you in the palm of his hand
|
unknown
|
Quotations by unknown authors
�
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| May you be in heaven a half hour before the devil knows your dead
|
unknown
|
Quotations by unknown authors
�
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| The point of philosophy is to start with something so simple as not to seem worth stating, and to end with something so paradoxical that no one will believe it.
|
Bertrand Russell, "The Philosophy of Logical Atomism"
|
British author, mathematician, & philosopher
�
(1872 - 1970)
|
| You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that - and shudder.
|
Bible, James 2:19 (New International Version)
|
| Rem tene, verba sequntur<br> (Keep to the subject, and the words will follow)
|
Cato the Censor (?)
|
| USA Today has come out with a new survey - apparently, three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
|
Dave Letterman
|
| But the only way of discovering the limits of the possible is to venture a little way past them into the impossible.
|
Arthur C. Clarke
|
English physicist & science fiction author
�
(1917 -
�
)
|
| Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
|
Don Marquis
|
US humorist
�
(1878 - 1937)
|
| The world itself is the will to power - and nothing else! And you yourself are the will to power - and nothing else!
|
Friedrich Nietzsche, "The Will to Power"
|
German philosopher
�
(1844 - 1900)
|
| It is a mistake to suppose that God is only, or even chiefly, concerned with religion.
|
Archbishop William Temple, 1955
|
| To become a popular religion, it is only necessary for a superstition to enslave a philosohpy.
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William Ralph Inge, 1920
|
English author & Anglican prelate
�
(1860 - 1954)
|
| Without a doubt the greatest injury of all was done by basing morals on myth. For, sooner or later, myth is recognized for what it is, and disappears. Then morality loses the foundation on which it has been built.
|
Lord Samuel, "Romanes Lecture", 1947
|
| The Churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
|
George Bernard Shaw, "St. Joan"
|
Irish dramatist & socialist
�
(1856 - 1950)
|
| Pluralitas non ponenda est sine necessitate
|
Occam
|
| Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.
|
Charles M. Schulz, as "Charlie Brown", Peanuts, cartoon strip
|
US cartoonist
�
(1922 - 2000)
|
| How do you govern a country which has 246 different kinds of cheese?
|
Charles De Gaulle
|
French general & politician
�
(1890 - 1970)
|
| Too bad all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxi cabs and cutting hair.
|
George Burns
|
US actor & comedian
�
(1896 - 1996)
|
| He has a splendid repertoire of 500 words. Why does he insist on using only 150?
|
Abba Eban
|
Israeli (S. African-born) diplomat & politician
�
(1915 - 2002)
|
| "If you were my husband, i would feed you poison."<br> "If you were my wife, madam, i would tak
e it!
|
Lady Astor and William Churchill
|
| I get plenty of exercise carrying the coffins of my friends who exercise.
|
Red Skelton
|
| "Coolidge is dead"<br> "How could they tell?
|
Dorothy Parker
|
US author, humorist, poet, & wit
�
(1893 - 1967)
|
| I call that a scumhead.
|
James Joyce, "Finnegans Wake"
|
Irish author
�
(1882 - 1941)
|
| The Bible tells us to love our neighbors, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.
|
G.K. Chesterton
|
| A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education.
|
Theodore Roosevelt
|
26th president of US
�
(1858 - 1919)
|
| If we abide by the principles taught by the Bible, our country will go on prospering.
|
Daniel Webster
|
US diplomat, lawyer, orator, & politician
�
(1782 - 1852)
|
| When you have read the Bible, you will know it is the word of God, because you will have found it the key to your own heart, your own happiness, and your own duty.
|
Woodrow Wilson
|
28th president of US
�
(1856 - 1924)
|
| It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.
|
Krishnamurti
|
| Where life is possible at all, a right life is possible; life in a palace is possible; therefore even in a palace a right life is possible.
|
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, "Meditations", book 5.
|
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180
�
(121 AD - 180 AD)
|
| A little flesh, a little breath, and a Reason to rule all - that is myself.
|
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, "Meditations", book 2.
|
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180
�
(121 AD - 180 AD)
|
| To refrain from imitation is the best revenge.
|
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, "Meditations", book 6.
|
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180
�
(121 AD - 180 AD)
|
| To stand up -- or be setup?
|
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, "Meditations", book 6.
|
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180
�
(121 AD - 180 AD)
|
| A man does not sin by commission only, but often by ommission.
|
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, "Meditations", book 9.
|
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180
�
(121 AD - 180 AD)
|
| To succeed in the world it is not enough to be stupid, you must also be well-mannered.
|
Voltaire
|
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist
�
(1694 - 1778)
|
| A candour affected is a dagger concealed.
|
Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, "Meditations", book 9.
|
Roman Emperor, A.D. 161-180
�
(121 AD - 180 AD)
|
| Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it -- badly.
|
Henry Spencer
|
| I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
|
Steve Martin
|
US comedian & movie actor
�
(1945 -
�
)
|
| Politics is no exact science.
|
Otto von Bismark
|
| In Christianity neither morality nor religion come into contact with reality at any point.
|
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
German philosopher
�
(1844 - 1900)
|
| Faith: not *wanting* to know what is true.
|
Friedrich Nietzsche
|
German philosopher
�
(1844 - 1900)
|
| When in doubt, use brute force
|
Ken Thompson
|
| Maybe I should have screwed up.
|
Ken Thompson
|
| SCCS is the source-code motel -- your code checks in but it never checks out.
|
Ken Thompson
|
| I know nothing.
|
Ken Thompson
|
| Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them.
|
Bill Vaughan
|
| Just think -- IBM and DEC in the same room -- and we did it. Makes you feel warm inside.
|
Ken Thompson
|
| If you want to go somewhere, goto is the best way to get there.
|
Ken Thompson
|
| Oh, the tangled webs we weave When we practice to deceive.
|
Sir Walter Scott, "Marmion"
|
Scottish author & novelist
�
(1771 - 1832)
|
| In this world of sin and sorrow, there is always something to be thankful for; as for me, I rejoice that I am not a Republican.
|
H. L. Mencken
|
US editor
�
(1880 - 1956)
|
| If language is not correct, then what is said is not what is meant; if what is said is not what is meant, then what must be done remains undone; if this remains undone, morals and art will deteriorate; if justice goes astray, the people will stand about in helpless confusion. Hence there must be no arbitrariness in what is said. This matters above everything.
|
Confucius
|
Chinese philosopher & reformer
�
(551 BC - 479 BC)
|
| Anyone who has got a book collection and a garden wants for nothing.
|
Cicero
|
Roman author, orator, & politician
�
(106 BC - 43 BC)
|
| I think there are innumerable gods. What we here on earth call God is a little tribal God who has made an awful mess. Certainly forces operating trough human conciousness control events.
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William S. Buroughs, Paris Review, Fall 1965
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| God is the immemorial refuge of the incompetent, thehelpless, the miserable. They find not only sanctuary in His arms, but also a kind of superiority, soothing to their macerated egos; He will set them above their betters.
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H. L. Mencken
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US editor
�
(1880 - 1956)
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| Trapped, like a trap in a trap.
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Dorothy Parker
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US author, humorist, poet, & wit
�
(1893 - 1967)
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| The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings. The inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.
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Churchill
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| Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors.
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Francois de La Rochefoucauld
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French author & moralist
�
(1613 - 1680)
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| The two most evangelical groups in the world are atheists and vegetarians, especially the least knowledgeable and least intelligent individuals within those groups.
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Clark Coleman
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| Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger.
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Tolkien
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| May you never know hunger<br> May you love with a full heart<br> The light burn in your eyes<br> <br> May the fire be your friend<br> And the sea rock you gently<br> May the moon light your way<br> Till the wind sets you free
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Shriekback, "Cradle Song"
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| The peasants of the Asturias believe that in every litter of wolves there is one pup that is killed by the mother for fear that on growing up it would devour the other little ones.
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Victor Hugo, "Les Miserables"
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French dramatist, novelist, & poet
�
(1802 - 1885)
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| Truth is more of a stranger than fiction.
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Mark Twain
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US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit
�
(1835 - 1910)
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| Truth is beautiful, without doubt; but so are lies.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
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US essayist & poet
�
(1803 - 1882)
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| If a cluttered desk signs a cluttered mind, Of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?
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Albert Einstein.
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| A mind forever voyaging through strange seas of thought, alone.
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William Wordsworth
|
English poet
�
(1770 - 1850)
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| Ignorance is king, many would not prosper by its abdication.
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"A Canticle for Leibowitz"
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| A cult is a religion with no political power.
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Tom Wolfe
|
US author & journalist
�
(1931 -
�
)
|
| All Bibles are man-made.
|
Thomas A. Edison
|
US inventor
�
(1847 - 1931)
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| To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; to appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition; to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.
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Ralph Waldo Emerson
|
US essayist & poet
�
(1803 - 1882)
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| To be conservative at 20 is heartless and to be a liberal at 60 is plain idiocy.
|
Sir Winston Churchill
|
British politician
�
(1874 - 1965)
|
| Thought: why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only for food: frequently there must be a beverage.
|
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
|
US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
|
| On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down.
|
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
|
US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
|
| A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A DOE<br> <br> Unbearably lovely music is heard as the curtain rises, and we see the woods on a summer afternoon. A fawn dances on and nibbles slowly at some leaves. He drifts lazily through the soft foliage. Soon he starts coughing and drops dead.
|
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
|
US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
|
| Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib.
|
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
|
US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
|
| Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence so why bother shaving?
|
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
|
US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
|
| Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love -- the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters.
|
Woody Allen, Without Feathers
|
US movie actor, comedian, & director
�
(1935 -
�
)
|
| I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
|
Harry S Truman, in Look, Apr. 3, 1956
|
33rd president of US
�
(1884 - 1972)
|
| Internet is so big, so powerful and pointless that for some people it is a complete substitute for life.
|
Andrew Brown
|
| The universe is made of stories, not atoms.
|
Muriel Rukeyser
|
| ...in the lexicon of the political class, the word "sacrifice" means that the citizens are supposed to mail even more of their income to Washington so that the political class will not have to sacrifice the pleasure of spending it.
|
George Will, Newsweek, 2/22/93
|
| The society which scorns excellence in plumbing as a humble activity and tolerates shoddiness in philosophy because it is an exalted activity will have neither good plumbing nor good philosophy...neither its pipes nor its theories will hold water.
|
John W. Gardner
|
US administrator
�
(1912 -
�
)
|
| Many, if not all, of my presidential opponents are certifiable idiots.
|
Miriam Defensor Santiago, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
|
| Half of the American people never read a newspaper. Half never voted for President. One hopes it is the same half.
|
Gore Vidal, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
|
US author & dramatist
�
(1925 -
�
)
|
| Your food stamps will be stopped effective March, 1992, because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances.
|
Greenville County (S.C.) Department of Social Services, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
|
| We believe he wanted to win in the worst way.
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Don Eslinger, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
|
| It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians.
|
Pat Robertson, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
|
| Would you please shut up and sit down!
|
George Bush, The World Almanac and Book of Facts, 1993
|
US Republican politician
�
(1924 -
�
)
|
| He who joyfully marches to music in rank and file has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would fully suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, senseless brutality, deplorable patriotism, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be part of so base an action! It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder.
|
Albert Einstein
|
US (German-born) physicist
�
(1879 - 1955)
|
| The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
|
Alan Kay
|
| When I received the Nobel Prize, the only big lump sum of money I have ever seen, I had to do something with it. The easiest way to drop this hot potato was to invest it, to buy shares. I knew that World War II was coming and I was afraid that if I had shares which rise in case of war, I would wish for war. So I asked my agent to buy shares which go down in the event of war. This he did. I lost my money and saved my soul.
|
Albert Szent-Gyorgyi, The Crazy Ape
|
| Time is what prevents everything from happening at once.
|
John Archibald Wheeler, American J. of Physics, 1978, 46, 323
|
| I have lived some thirty years on this planet and I have yet to hear the first syllable of valuable or even earnest advice from my seniors.
|
Henry David Thoreau
|
US Transcendentalist author
�
(1817 - 1862)
|
| Seek not for fresher founts afar, Just drop you bucket where you are.
|
Sam Walter Foss, Back Country Poems, 1892
|
| The Pope! How many divisions has _he_ got ?
|
Joseph Stalin, Winston Chuirchill, The Second World War, vol 1
|
Georgian Soviet politician
�
(1879 - 1953)
|
| Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.
|
Samuel Johnson, Letter to Lord Chesterfield, 1775
|
English author, critic, & lexicographer
�
(1709 - 1784)
|
| I could not say I believe. I know! I have had the experience of being gripped by something that is stronger than myself, something that people call God.
|
Carl Jung
|
Swiss psychologist
�
(1875 - 1961)
|
| That old saw about the early bird just proves that the worm should have stayed in bed.
|
Robert Heinlein, Time Enough For Love
|
US science fiction author
�
(1907 - 1988)
|
| The modern definition of "racist" is "someone who is winning an argument with a liberal
|
Peter Brimelow, National Review (2/1/93)
|
| One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.
|
A. A. Milne
|
English juvenile author
�
(1882 - 1956)
|
| Not many people know this ... but I happen to be famous.
|
Sam Malone, Cheers
|
| Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
|
George Santayana
|
US (Spanish-born) philosopher
�
(1863 - 1952)
|
| The history of science is everywhere speculative. It is a marvelous hiatory. It makes you proud to be a human being.
|
Karl R. Popper
|
| The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.
|
Somerset Maugham
|
| When I was one-and-twenty,<br> I heard a wise man say,<br> Give pounds and crowns and guineas,<br> But not your heart away."<br> <br> Give pearls away and rubies,<br> But keep your fancy free."<br> But I was one-and-twenty,<br> No use to talk to me.
|
A.E. Houseman
|
| You can never get the smell of smoke out. Like the smell of failure in life.
|
John Updike, Rabbit Redux
|
US author
�
(1932 -
�
)
|
| "We are survival machines - robot vehicles blindly programmed to preserve the selfish molecules known as genes.
|
Richard Dawkings:, "The Selfish Gene"
|
| Too many have dispensed with generosity in order to practice charity.
|
Albert Camus
|
French existentialist author & philosopher
�
(1913 - 1960)
|
| Personally I rather look forward to a computer program winning the world [chess] championship. Humanity needs a lesson in humility.
|
Richard Dawkings:, "The Selfish Gene"
|
| If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation.
|
Tom Stoppard
|
British dramatist & screenwriter
�
(1937 -
�
)
|
| There are two kinds of people, those who finish what they start and so on.
|
Robert Byrne
|
| I take the view, and always have, that if you cannot say what you are going to say in twenty minutes you ought to go away and write a book about it.
|
Lord Brabazon
|
�
(1884 - 1964)
|
| Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
|
Cyril Connolly
|
�
(1903 - 1974)
|
| Do not fear death so much but rather the inadequate life.
|
Bertolt Brecht
|
German Communist & dramatist
�
(1898 - 1956)
|
| In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes.
|
Andy Warhol
|
US artist
�
(1928 - 1987)
|
| We must love one another or die.
|
W.H. Auden, "September 1, 1939"
|
| Because he once wrote, "We must love one another or die," he can command me to follow him.
|
E.M. Forster
|
| We must love one another and die.
|
W.H. Auden, revised "Sept. 1, 1939"
|
| Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world.
|
Shelley, incomplete, poets
|
| Stone walls do not a prison make, nor iron bars a cage.
|
Richard Lovelace, To Althea from Prison
|
| Streets full of water; please advise.
|
Robert Benchley
|
US actor, author, & humorist
�
(1889 - 1945)
|
That ready wit, which you so partially allow me, ... may create many admirers; but, take my word for it, it makes few friends. It shines and
Comment Script
Comments
|
Anthony G. Alessi, MD
Charles Glassman, MD
Dale Peterson, MD
Mache Seibel, MD
Peter Weiss, MD
Mitchell Yass, DPT
Dr. Howard Peiper
Dr. Mary Riggin
