Famous Quotes |
| Religion is the fashionable substitute for belief. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| Punctuality is the virtue of the bored. |
Evelyn Waugh |
English novelist & satirist
(1903 - 1966) |
| Doctors are the same as lawyers; the
only difference is that lawyers merely rob you, whereas doctors rob you and kill you too. |
Anton Chekhov |
Russian dramatist & short story author (1860 - 1904) |
| I have seen the hippopotamus, both
asleep and awake; and I can assure you that, awake or asleep, he is the ugliest of the works of God. |
Thomas Babington Macaulay, 1850 |
English author & politician
(1800 - 1859) |
| Bad spellers of the world, untie! |
Grafitto |
| Fix this sentence: He put the horse before the cart. |
Stephen Price |
| A language is a dialect with an army and a navy. |
Max Weinreich |
| In America sex is an obsession, in other parts of the world it is a fact. |
Marlene Dietrich |
German movie actress (1901 - 1992) |
| Millions long for immortality who do
not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. |
Susan Ertz |
| This life is a test. It is only a
test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| Life is like an overlong drama
through which we sit being nagged by the vague memories of having read the reviews. |
John Updike |
US author (1932 - ) |
| The only thing worse than a knee-jerk liberal is a knee-pad conservative. |
Edward Abbey (Vox Clamans in Deserto) |
| To know all is not to forgive all. It is to despise everybody. |
Quentin Crisp |
| Rich bachelors should be heavily
taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| On the whole human beings want to be good, but not too good and not quite
all the time. |
George Orwell |
English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 - 1950) |
| There will be a time when
loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the best of you. When that happens, you only have to be patient and wait
for them to self destruct. It never fails. |
Richard Rybolt |
| What a time! What a civilization! |
Cicero |
Roman author, orator, & politician
(106 BC - 43 BC) |
| Oh, this age! How tasteless and ill-bred it is! |
Catullus |
| How little you know about the age you live in if you think that honey is
sweeter than cash in hand. |
Ovid |
Roman poet (43 BC - 17 AD) |
| It is sometimes expedient to forget who we are. |
Publilius Syrus (c. 42 BC) |
| There is no glory in otustripping donkeys. |
Marcus Valerius Martialis |
(40 AD - 103 AD) |
| The school of hard knocks is an accelerated curriculum. |
Menander |
Greek comic dramatist (342 BC -
292 BC) |
| There is nothing so absurd but some philosopher has said it. |
Cicero |
Roman author, orator, & politician
(106 BC - 43 BC) |
| A man with his belly full of the classics is an enemy of the human race. |
Henery Miller, Tropic of Cancer
1934 |
| (Of Jesus): "A parish demogogue." |
Shelley (Queen Mab) |
| He who despairs over an event is a
coward, but he who holds hope for the human condition is a fool. |
Albert Camus |
French existentialist author & philosopher (1913 - 1960) |
| Discovery consists of seeing what everybody has seen and thinking what
nobody has thought. |
Albert von Szent-Gyorgyi, in Irving Good, The Scientist Speculates (1962) |
US biochemist (1893 - 1986) |
| A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely
rearranging their prejudices. |
William James |
US Pragmatist philosopher & psychologist (1842 - 1910) |
| Let a short Act of Parliament be
passed, placing all street musicians outside the protection of the law, so that any citizen may assail them with stones,
sticks, knives, pistols, or bombs without incurring any penalties. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| A bachelor is a selfish, undeserving guy who has cheated some woman out
of a divorce. |
Don Quinn |
| When it is a question of money, everyone is of the same religion. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| On Thanksgiving Day all over America, families sit down to dinner at the
same moment - halftime. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| Gratitude is merely the secret hope of further favors. |
La Rochefoucauld |
| The Pilgrim Fathers landed on the
shores of America and fell upon their knees. Then they fell upon the aborigines. |
(Anon.) |
| Ultimately, the only power to which man should aspire is that which he
exercises over himself. |
Elie Wiesel |
US (Romanian-born) activist, novelist
(1928 - ) |
| A ship in harbor is safe--- but that is not what ships are for. |
John A. Shedd |
| The fascination of shooting as a
sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun. |
P. G. Wodehouse |
British humorist & novelist in US
(1881 - 1975) |
| Love is a dirty trick played on us to achieve the continuation of the
species. |
W. Somerset Maugham |
English dramatist & novelist
(1874 - 1965) |
| We have long passed the Victorian
era, when asterisks were followed after a certain interval by a baby. |
W. Somerset Maugham |
English dramatist & novelist
(1874 - 1965) |
| Somewhere on this globe, every ten
seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped. |
Sam Levenson |
(1911 - 1980) |
| It is now quite lawful for a
Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by a resort to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or
chemistry. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| Contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion. |
From The Last Goon Show of All |
| Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the
victim. |
Bertrand Russell |
British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970) |
| Life is a God-damned, stinking,
treacherous game and nine hundred and ninety-nine men out of a thousand are bastards. |
Theodore Dreiser, quoting an unnamed newspaper editor |
| It is not true that life is one damn thing after another- it is one damn
thing over and over. |
Edna St. Vincent Millay |
US poet (1892 - 1950) |
| Life being what it is, one dreams of revenge. |
Paul Gauguin |
French Post-Impressionist painter
(1848 - 1903) |
| Men and women, women and men. It will never work. |
Erica Jong |
| Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. |
Gloria Steinem |
US feminist (1934 - ) |
| Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. |
Timothy Leary |
US psychologist & promoter of mind-altering drugs (1920 - 1996) |
| Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| Happiness is an imaginary condition,
formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children, and by children to adults. |
Thomas Szasz |
| I know that poetry is indispensable, but to what I could not say. |
Jean Cocteau |
French dramatist, director, & poet
(1889 - 1963) |
| The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman nor an Empire. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| What we choose to call sanity is a big house where the mad have no
mothers. |
The Clown Prince of Darkness, (correspondence, 1988) |
| It has been said that democracy is
the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried. |
Sir Winston Churchill |
British politician (1874 - 1965) |
| Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. |
Robert Byrne |
| Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten percent a bad
reputation. |
Henry Kissinger |
US (German-born) diplomat & scholar
(1923 - ) |
| The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those
who have not got it. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| J.P Morgan, when asked what the stock market will do, replied, |
It will fluctuate. |
| As long as war is regarded as
wicked, it will always have its fascination. When it is looked upon as vulgar, it will cease to be popular. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| Walking women want to see the
southern cross at night And so they set aside a sock, and tie their laces tight Yes mournful is the melody that echoes in
their heads Without a beat they march along, believing Bach is dead. |
The Residents "Duck Stab":Bach is Dead |
| Old age is the most unexpected of things that can happen to a man. |
Trotsky |
| Some people are born mediocre, some
people achieve mediocrity, and some people have mediocrity thrust upon them. |
Joseph Heller, "Catch-22" |
US novelist (1923 - ) |
| Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least. |
Robert Byrne |
| If law school is so hard to get through... how come there are so many
lawyers? |
Calvin Trillin |
US columnist (1935 - ) |
| Missionaries are going to reform the world whether it wants to or not. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| I can think of nothing less pleasurable than a life devoted to pleasure. |
John D. Rockefeller |
US oil industrialist & philanthropist
(1839 - 1937) |
| I can forgive Alfred Nobel for
having invented dynamite, but only a fiend in human form could have invented the Nobel Prize. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs. |
Aldous Huxley |
English critic & novelist
(1894 - 1963) |
| Gaiety is the most outstanding feature of the Soviet Union. |
Joseph Stalin |
Georgian Soviet politician (1879 -
1953) |
| Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more
certain they are their own. |
Aristotle |
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC) |
| The gods too are fond of a joke |
Aristotle |
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC) |
| He was a wise man who invented God. |
Plato |
Greek author & philosopher in Athens
(427 BC - 347 BC) |
| Wit is educated insolence. |
Aristotle |
Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist (384 BC - 322 BC) |
| Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these |
Ovid |
Roman poet (43 BC - 17 AD) |
| Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on
society. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| God is the tangential point between zero and infinity. |
Alfred Jarry |
| The provision of the Constitution
giving the war-making power to Congress was dictated, as I understand it, by the following reasons. Kings had always
been involving and impoverishing their people in wars, pretending generally,
if not always, that the good of the people was the object. This, our
Convention understood to be the most oppressive of all Kingly oppressions;
and they resolved to so frame the Constitution that no one man should hold
the power of bringing this oppression upon us. |
Abraham Lincoln |
16th president of US (1809 - 1865) |
| We laugh at honor and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. |
C. S. Lewis |
English essayist & juvenile novelist
(1898 - 1963) |
| Live so that your friends can defend you but never have to. |
Arnold H. Glasgow |
| Freedom is just Chaos, with better lighting. |
Alan Dean Foster "To the Vanishing Point" |
| After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| People forget how fast you did a job - but they remember how well you did
it. |
Howard Newton |
| Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. |
Sigmund Freud |
Austrian psychologist (1856 -
1939) |
| Some men are born mediocre, some men
achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. |
Joseph Heller |
US novelist (1923 - ) |
| We Americans live in a nation where
the medical-care system is second to none in the world, unless you count maybe 25 or 30 little scuzzball countries
like Scotland that we could vaporize in seconds if we felt like it. |
Dave Barry |
US columnist & humorist (1947
- ) |
| The genius of you Americans is that
you never make clear-cut stupid moves, only complicated stupid moves which make us wonder at the possibility that
there may be something to them we are missing. |
Gamel Abdel Nasser |
| I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as
equals. |
Sir Winston Churchill |
British politician (1874 - 1965) |
| What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is
alive? |
Irv Kupcinet |
| Courage is being scared to death - but saddling up anyway. |
John Wayne |
US movie actor & director
(1907 - 1979) |
| A man said to the Universe:
"Sir, I exist!"<br> "However," replied the
Universe,<br> "the fact has not created
in me a sense of obligation." |
Stephen Crane |
| Sometimes I think the surest sign
that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. |
Bill Watterson, cartoonist |
US cartoonist (1958 - ) |
| I do not know myself, and God forbid that I should. |
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe |
German dramatist, novelist, poet, & scientist (1749 - 1832) |
| Neurosis is the inability to tolerate ambiguity. |
Sigmund Freud |
Austrian psychologist (1856 -
1939) |
| War is an ugly thing, but not the
ugliest of things. The decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth war
is much worse. The person who has nothing for which he is willing to fight,
nothing which is more important than his own personal safety, is a miserable
creature and has no chance of being free unless made and kept so by the
exertions of better men than himself. |
John Stuart Mill |
English economist & philosopher
(1806 - 1873) |
| Duty then is the sublimest word in
the English language. You should do your duty in all things. You can never do more, you should never wish to do less. |
General Robert E. Lee |
| I have been assured by a very
knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious,
nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled,
and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricassee, or a ragout. |
Jonathan Swift, "A Modest Proposal" |
Irish essayist, novelist, & satirist
(1667 - 1745) |
| We will occasionally use this arrow notation unless there is danger of no
confusion. |
Ronald Graham, "Rudiments of Ramsey Theory" |
| The face is the mirror of the mind, and eyes without speaking confess the
secrets of the heart. |
Saint Jerome |
church father & saint (374 AD
- 419 AD) |
| All men dream: but not equally.
Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the
dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act their dream with open
eyes, to make it possible. |
T. E. Lawrence, "The Seven Pillars of Wisdom" |
| Democracy gives every man the right to be his own oppressor. |
James Russell Lowell |
| We are born princes and the civilizing process makes us frogs. |
Eric Berne |
US (Canadian-born) psychologist
(1910 - 1970) |
| Read my lips--NO NEW TAXES! |
George Herbert Walker Bush, Nov. 1988 |
| The best way to cheer yourself is to try to cheer someone else up. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| The art of medicine consists in amusing the patient while nature cures
the disease. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| A witty saying proves nothing. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| There are three side effects of
acid. Enchanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third. |
Timothy Leary |
US psychologist & promoter of mind-altering drugs (1920 - 1996) |
| Discussion is an exchange of knowledge; argument an exchange of
ignorance. |
Robert Quillen |
| Men make history, and not the other
way around. In periods where there is no leadership, society stands still. Progress occurs when courageous, skillful
leaders seize the opportunity to change things for the better. |
Harry S Truman |
33rd president of US (1884 - 1972) |
| Santa Claus had the right idea. Visit everyone once a year. |
Victor Borges |
| Every government is run by liars. Nothing they say should be believed. |
I.F. Stone 1907-1989 |
| Blessed be the meek, for they shall inherit six feet of the earth. |
The Clown Prince of Darkness, corresponsdence |
| We must never forget that art is not a form of propaganda; it is a form
of truth. |
John F. Kennedy, October 26, 1963 |
US Democratic politician (1917 -
1963) |
| Even if you do learn to speak correct English, whom are you going to
speak it to? |
Clarence Darrow |
US defense lawyer (1857 - 1938) |
| Come quickly, I am tasting stars! |
Dom Perignon, at the moment of his discovery of champagne |
| Never play leapfrog with a unicorn. |
Benny Hill |
| People are far more sincere and
good-humored at speeding their parting guests than on meeting them. |
Anton Chekhov |
Russian dramatist & short story author (1860 - 1904) |
| Holidays are an expensive trial of strength. The only satisfaction comes
from survival. |
Jonathan Miller |
| Gifts are like hooks. |
Marcus Valerius Martialis |
(40 AD - 103 AD) |
| In the fight between you and the world, back the world. |
Frank Zappa |
US musician, singer, & songwriter
(1940 - 1993) |
| Puritanism is the haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| It is better to be quotable than to be honest. |
Tom Stoppard |
British dramatist & screenwriter
(1937 - ) |
| Good resolutions are simply checks that men draw on a bank where they
have no account. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| In California everyone goes to a therapist, is a therapist, or is a
therapist going to a therapist. |
Truman Capote |
US author (1924 - 1984) |
| Bore: a man who is never unintentionally rude. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| New York is the only city in the
world where you can get deliberately run down on the sidewalk by a pedestrian. |
Russell Baker |
US columnist & journalist
(1925 - ) |
| Confession is good for the soul only
in the sense that a tweed coat is good for dandruff - it is a palliative rather than a remedy. |
Peter De Vries |
| Honest criticism is hard to take,
particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger. |
Franklin P. Jones |
| Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| I knew her before she was a virgin. |
Oscar Levant |
(1906 - 1972) |
| We may eventually come to realize that chastity is no more a virtue than
malnutrition. |
Alex Comfort |
| Celibacy is not hereditary. |
Guy Goden |
| Virginity is in the lies of the beholder. |
The Clown Prince of Darkness |
| Aliter catuli longe olent, aliter sues.<br> ("Puppies and pigs
have a very different smell.") |
Plautus |
| When she was a small girl, Amanda
hid a ticking clock in an old, rotten tree trunk. It drove woodpeckers crazy. Ignoring tasty bugs all around them, they
just about beat their brains out trying to get at the clock. Years later,
Amanda used the woodpecker experiment as a model for understanding
capitalism, Communism, Christianity, and all other systems that traffic in
future rewards rather than in present realities. |
Tom Robbins |
US novelist (1936 - ) |
| What torture, this life in society!
Often someone is obliging enough to offer me a light, and in order to oblige him I have to fish a cigarette out of my
pocket. |
Karl Kraus |
Austrian author and journalist
(1874 - 1936) |
| The more I study religions the more
I am convinced that man never worshipped anything but himself |
Sir Richard F. Burton |
| Justice is incedental to law and order. |
J. Edgar Hoover |
| Reading musses up my mind. |
Henry Ford |
US automobile industrialist (1863
- 1947) |
| Every gun that is made, every
warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who are
cold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It
is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the
hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense.
Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron. |
Dwight Eisenhower, April 16, 1953 |
| What sane person could live in this world and not be crazy? |
Ursula K. LeGuin |
| If you are ruled by mind you are a king; if by body, a slave. |
Cato, Roman statesman and historian |
| Good manners will open doors that the best education cannot. |
Clarence Thomas |
US administrator & lawyer
(1948 - ) |
| What is the matter with the poor is poverty; what is the matter with the
rich is uselessness. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| A clergyman is one who feels himself
called upon to live without working at the expense of the rascals who work to live. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| When a true genius appears in the
world you may know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in confederacy against him. |
Jonathan Swift |
Irish essayist, novelist, & satirist
(1667 - 1745) |
| In America, through pressure of
conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from. |
Peter Ustinov |
English actor & author (1921 -
2004) |
| America is a large friendly dog in a small room. Every time it wags its
tail it knocks over a chair. |
Arnold Toynbee |
English historian & historical philosopher (1889 - 1975) |
| The United States is like the guy at
the party who gives cocaine to everybody and still nobody likes him. |
Jim Samuels |
| When I get smitten, I stay smut. |
Charlie McCarthy |
| The English think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity. |
Quentin Crisp |
| War is the biggest ego trip of all time. |
Molly Wiest |
| Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. |
Chuck Norris |
US movie actor (1940 - ) |
| Now hatred is by far the longest pleasure; Men love in haste, but they
detest at leisure. |
Lord Byron |
English poet & satirist (1788
- 1824) |
| The main thing is you and I should
exist, and that we should be you and I. Apart from that let everything go as it likes. The best order of things to my
way thinking, is the one I was meant to be part of, and to hell with the most
perfect of worlds if I am not in it. I would rather exist, even as an
impudent argufier, than not exist at all. |
Jean-Francois Rameau |
| ...all life is only a set of
pictures in the brain, among which there is no difference betwixt those born of real things and those born of inward dreamings, and
(there is) no cause to value one above the other." |
H.P. Lovecraft |
| Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| Egotism is the anesthetic given by a kindly nature to relieve the pain of
being a damned fool. |
Bellamy Brooks |
| On Monday mornings I am dedicated to the proposition that all men are
created jerks. |
H. Allen Smith, "Let the Crabgrass Grow" |
| Chastity always takes its toll. In some it produces pimples; in others,
sex laws. |
Karl Kraus |
Austrian author and journalist
(1874 - 1936) |
| If there were a verb meaning
"to believe falsely," it would not have any significant first
person, present indicative. |
Ludwig Wittgenstein |
Austrian philosopher (1889 - 1951) |
| If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament. |
Florynce Kennedy |
| Responsiblity is a unique concept.
It can only reside and inhere in a single individual. You may share it with others, but your portion is not diminished.
You may delegate it, but it is still with you. You may disclaim it, but you
cannot divest yourself of it. |
Admiral Hyman Rickover |
| Many a man has fallen in love with a girl in a light so dim he would not
have chosen a suit by it. |
Maurice Chevalier |
French entertainer (1888 - 1972) |
| A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not
prove anything. |
Friedrich Nietzsche |
German philosopher (1844 - 1900) |
| A liberal is someone who feels a
great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. |
G. Gordon Liddy |
| It is one of the superstitions of the human mind to have imagined that
virginity could be a virtue. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| My wife and I tried to breakfast
together, but we had to stop or our marriage would have been wrecked. |
Sir Winston Churchill |
British politician (1874 - 1965) |
| All children are essentially criminal. |
Denis Diderot |
French author, encyclopedist, & philosopher (1713 - 1784) |
| A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic. |
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
US essayist & poet (1803 -
1882) |
| Thank God kids never mean well |
Lily Tomlin |
US actress & comedienne (1939
- ) |
| It is better to know some of the questions than all of the answers. |
James Thurber |
US author, cartoonist, humorist, & satirist (1894 - 1961) |
| Lactomangulation, n.:<br>
Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that
one has to resort to using the "illegal"
side. |
Rich Hall, "Sniglets" |
| No one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best friend. |
Groucho Marx |
US comedian with Marx Brothers
(1890 - 1977) |
| My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft
music. |
Vladimir Nabokov |
US (Russian-born) author & translator
(1899 - 1977) |
| Shut up he explained. |
Ring Lardner, The Young Immigrants, 1920 |
US author (1885 - 1933) |
| Being perfectly well-dressed gives a feeling of tranquility that religion
is powerless to bestow. |
Ralph Waldo Emerson, quoting a friend |
US essayist & poet (1803 -
1882) |
| Give a man a fish and he will eat
for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach a man to create an artificial shortage of fish and he
will eat steak. |
Jay Leno |
US comedian & television host
(1950 - ) |
| It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| The family is a court of justice which never shuts down for night or day. |
Malcolm De Chazal |
| Dying is a very dull, dreary affair. And my advice to you is to have
nothing whatever to do with it. |
W. Somerset Maugham |
English dramatist & novelist
(1874 - 1965) |
| The graveyards are full of indispensable men. |
Charles de Gaulle |
French general & politician
(1890 - 1970) |
| Strip away the phony tinsel of Hollywood and you find the real tinsel
underneath. |
Oscar Levant |
(1906 - 1972) |
| Hollywood is a place where they place you under contract instead of under
observation. |
Walter Winchell |
US gossip columnist & broadcast journalist (1897 - 1972) |
| The Hollywood tradition I like best is called "sucking up to the
stars." |
Johnny Carson |
US comedian & television host
(1925 - 2005) |
| "Hello," he lied. |
Don Carpenter quoting a Hollywood agent |
| However, never daunted, I will cope with adversity in my traditional
manner ... sulking and nausea. |
Tom K. Ryan |
| Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness. |
Don Marquis |
US humorist (1878 - 1937) |
| MacDonald has the gift of
compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thoughts. |
Sir Winston Churchill |
British politician (1874 - 1965) |
| Alas, I am dying beyond my means. |
Oscar Wilde, as he sipped champagne on his deathbed |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| If Jesus Christ were to come today,
people would not even crucify him. They would ask him to dinner, and hear what he had to say, and make fun of it. |
Thomas Carlyle |
Scottish author, essayist, & historian (1795 - 1881) |
| Every word is like an unnecessary stain on silence and nothingness. |
Beckett |
| I was once thrown out of a mental hospital for depressing the other
patients. |
Oscar Levant |
(1906 - 1972) |
| One of the greatest victories you can gain over someone is to beat him at
politeness. |
Josh Billings |
US Humorist (1818 - 1885) |
| Once the people begin to reason, all is lost. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| If Christ were here now there is one thing he would not be - a Christian. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| It is well to write love letters.
There are certain things for which it is not easy to ask your mistress face to face, like money for instance. |
Henri De Regnier |
| He who despises himself esteems himself as a self-despiser. |
Friedrich Nietzsche |
German philosopher (1844 - 1900) |
| Beware of the man whose God is in the skies. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| George Washington as a boy was
ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth - he could not even lie. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake. |
Savielly Grigorievitcyh Tartakower |
| In San Francisco, Haloween is redundant. |
Will Durst |
| There are two million interesting people in New York and only
seventy-eight in Los Angles. |
Neil Simon, in Playboy, Feb. 1979 |
| The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of
civilization. |
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
US essayist & poet (1803 -
1882) |
| Scandal is gossip made tedious by morality. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from
wise guys. |
William Arthur Ward |
| A man never reaches that dizzy height of wisdom that he can no longer be
led by the nose. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| The only man, woman, or child who
ever wrote a simple declarative sentence with seven grammatical errors is dead. |
e. e. cummings, on the death of Warren G. Harding, 1923 |
| Harding was not a bad man, he was just a slob. |
Alice Roosevelt Longworth, from Mrs. L. Conversations with Alice
Roosevelt Longworth |
US author & wit (1884 - 1980) |
| Ronald Reagan is the most ignorant president since Warren Harding. |
Ralph Nader, The Pacific Sun, March 21, 1981 |
| A bore is a fellow talking who can
change the subject back to his topic of conversation faster than you can change it back to yours. |
Laurence J. Peter |
US educator & writer (1919 -
1988) |
| Cleaning anything involves making
something else dirty, but anything can get dirty without something else getting clean. |
Laurence J. Peter |
US educator & writer (1919 -
1988) |
| The civilization of one epoch becomes the manure of the next. |
Cyril Connolly |
(1903 - 1974) |
| You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of
conversation. |
Plato |
Greek author & philosopher in Athens
(427 BC - 347 BC) |
| Civilization exists by geological consent, subject to change without
notice. |
Will Durant |
US historian (1885 - 1981) |
| The first human being who hurled an insult instead of a stone was the
founder of civilization. |
Sigmund Freud, (Attributed) |
Austrian psychologist (1856 -
1939) |
| I think it would be a good idea. |
Mahatma Gandhi, when asked what he thought of Western civilization |
Indian ascetic & nationalist leader
(1869 - 1948) |
| Jury: a group of twelve men who,
having lied to the judge about their hearing, health and business engagements, have failed to fool him. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| He who does not desire power is fit to hold it. |
Plato |
Greek author & philosopher in Athens
(427 BC - 347 BC) |
| There is no law against composing
music when one has no ideas whatsoever. The music of Wagner, therefore, is perfectly legal |
The National, Paris, 1850 |
| The prelude to Tristan and Isolde
sounded as if a bomb had fallen into a large music factory and had thrown all the notes into confusion. |
The Tribune, Berlin, 1871 |
| The prelude to Tristan and Isolde
reminds me of the Italian painting of the martyr whose intestines are slowly being unwound from his body on a reel. |
Eduard Hanslick |
| Wagner drives the nail into your head with swinging hammer blows. |
P.A. Fiorentino |
| "9W"<br>Answer to the question: Do you spell your name
with a V, Mr. Vagner? |
Steve Allen, from the Question Man segment on the Steve Allen Show |
| Children are never too tender to be
whipped. Like tough beefsteaks, the more you beat them, the more tender they become. |
Edgar Allan Poe |
US short story author, editor, & poet
(1809 - 1849) |
| Manners are especially the need of the plain. The pretty can get away
with anything. |
Evelyn Waugh |
English novelist & satirist
(1903 - 1966) |
| A little inaccuracy sometimes saves tons of explanation. |
H.H. Munro (Saki) |
| It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man. |
Professor Scott Elledge on his retirement from Cornell |
| A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance. |
Anatole France |
French novelist (1844 - 1924) |
| We often forgive those who bore us, but we cannot forgive those whom we
bore. |
Francois De La Rochefoucauld |
French author & moralist (1613
- 1680) |
| LOVE: A word properly applied to our
delight in particular kinds of food; sometimes metaphorically spoken of the favorite objects of all our appetites. |
Henry Fielding |
English dramatist & novelist
(1707 - 1754) |
| A gourmet who thinks of calories is like a tart who looks at her watch. |
James Beard |
| Obscenity is what happens to shock some elderly and ignorant magistrate. |
Bertrand Russell |
British author, mathematician, & philosopher (1872 - 1970) |
| It has been my experience that folks who have no vices have very few
virtues. |
Abraham Lincoln |
16th president of US (1809 - 1865) |
| Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. |
Wilson Mizner |
US screenwriter (1876 - 1933) |
| Marriage is popular because it
combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know He is. |
Jean Anouilh |
French dramatist (1910 - 1987) |
| We learn from history that we do not learn from history. |
Georg Friedrich Wilhelm Hegel |
| Very few things happen at the right
time and the rest do not happen at all. The conscientious historian will correct these defects. |
Herodotus |
Greek historian & traveler
(484 BC - 430 BC) |
| We should all be obliged to appear
before a board every five years and justify our existence...on pain of liquidation. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| The danger is not that a particular class is unfit to govern. Every class
is unfit to govern. |
Lord Acton |
| I showed my appreciation of my
native land in the usual Irish way by getting out of it as soon as I possibly could. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| The Irish are a fair people - they never speak well of one another. |
Samuel Johnson |
English author, critic, & lexicographer (1709 - 1784) |
| Conscience and cowardice are really the same thing. Conscience is the
trade-name of the firm. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| We must use time as a tool, not as a crutch. |
John F. Kennedy |
US Democratic politician (1917 -
1963) |
| Spring makes everything look filthy. |
Katherine Whitehorn |
| Screenwriters? Schmucks with Underwoods. |
Jack Warner |
| The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it. |
Alexander Woollcott |
US author (1887 - 1943) |
| Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God. |
Lenny Bruce |
(1923 - 1966) |
| The worshiper is the father of the gods. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| Archbishop: a Christian ecclesiastic of a rank superior to that attained
by Christ. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| Self-respect: the secure feeling that no one, as yet, is suspicious. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| Real success is finding your lifework in the work that you love. |
David McCullough |
US biographer & historian
(1933 - ) |
| The best way to keep children at
home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires. |
Dorothy Parker |
US author, humorist, poet, & wit
(1893 - 1967) |
| If one is to be called a liar, one may as well make an effort to deserve
the name. |
A.A. Milne |
| The people are to be taken in very small doses. |
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
US essayist & poet (1803 -
1882) |
| Passionate hatred can give meaning and purpose to an empty life. |
Eric Hoffer |
(1902 - 1983) |
| Nothing would disgust me more, morally, than receiving an Oscar. |
Luis Bunuel |
Mexican (Spanish-born) Surrealist movie director (1900 - 1983) |
| Actresses will happen in the best regulated families. |
Oliver Herford |
| It was like passing the scene of a
highway accident and being relieved to learn that nobody had been seriously injured. |
Martin Cruz Smith on being asked how he liked the movie version of his
novel Gorky Park. |
| A team effort is a lot of people doing what I say. |
Michael Winner, British film director |
| You have to have a talent for having talent. |
Ruth Gordon |
| Yer beautiful in yer wrath! I shall
keep you, and in responding to my passions, yer hatred will kindle into love. |
John Wayne, (as Genghis Kahn to Susan Hayward in the move The Conqueror)
1956 |
US movie actor & director
(1907 - 1979) |
| Sentimentality is the emotional promiscuity of those who have no
sentiment. |
Norman Mailer |
US journalist & novelist (1923
- ) |
| The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray. |
Oscar Wilde |
Irish dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1854 - 1900) |
| I was thrown out of college for
cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me. |
Woody Allen, Annie Hall |
US movie actor, comedian, & director
(1935 - ) |
| Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. |
Amelia Earhart |
US aviator (1897 - 1937) |
| How could I lose to such an idiot? |
Aaron Nimzovich, A shout from the chess grandmaster |
| One is not superior merely because one sees the world as odious. |
Chateaubriand |
| Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| The trouble with born-again
Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around. |
Herb Caen |
| Nothing in our culture, not even
home computers, is more overrated than the epidermal felicity of two featherless bipeds in desperate congress. |
Quentin Crisp |
| The art of government consists in
taking as much money as possible from one class of the citizens to give to the other. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| I admire the serene assurance of
those who have religious faith. It is wonderful to observe the calm confidence of a Christian with four aces. |
Mark Twain |
US humorist, novelist, short story author, & wit (1835 - 1910) |
| Life does not cease to be funny when
people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| There are many who dare not kill themselves for fear of what the
neighbors will say. |
Cyril Connolly |
(1903 - 1974) |
| A liberal is a man who leaves the room when the fight begins. |
Heywood Broun |
US journalist (1888 - 1939) |
| Memory feeds imagination. |
Amy Tan |
US novelist (1952 - ) |
| The only "ism" Hollywood believes in is plagiarism. |
Dorothy Parker |
US author, humorist, poet, & wit
(1893 - 1967) |
| There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that
bites you. |
Peter De Vries |
| I saw that all things I feared, and
which feared me, had nothing good or bad in them save insofar as the mind was affected by them. |
Spinoza, Dutch Philosopher |
| People and things do not upset us, rather we upset ourselves by believing
that they can upset us. |
Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Therapy |
| Nothing is more powerful than an idea whose time has come. |
Victor Hugo |
French dramatist, novelist, & poet
(1802 - 1885) |
| We become what we think about all day long. |
Ralph Waldo Emerson |
US essayist & poet (1803 -
1882) |
| There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so. |
William Shakespeare |
Greatest English dramatist & poet
(1564 - 1616) |
| People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be. |
Abraham Lincoln |
16th president of US (1809 - 1865) |
| Change your thoughts and you change your world. |
Norman Vincent Peale |
US clergyman (1898 - 1993) |
| There is no way to happiness, happiness is the way. |
Eykis |
| If one advances confidently in the
direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in
common hours. |
Henry David Thoreau |
US Transcendentalist author (1817
- 1862) |
| Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre
minds. |
Albert Einstein |
US (German-born) physicist (1879 -
1955) |
| Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake. |
Henry David Thoreau |
US Transcendentalist author (1817
- 1862) |
| And it came to pass in those days,
that there went out a decree from Caesar Augustus, that all the world should be taxed. |
(St. Luke 2:1) |
| Noah must have taken into the Ark
two taxes, one male and one female. And did they multiply bountifully! Next to guinea pigs, taxes must have been the
most prolific animals. |
Will Rogers |
US humorist & showman (1879 -
1935) |
| Man is not like other animals in the
ways that are really significant: Animals have instincts, we have taxes. |
Erving Goffman |
| Why does a small tax increase cost
you two hundred dollars and s substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? |
Peg Bracken |
| The point to remember is what the government gives it must first take
away. |
John S. Coleman |
| The avoidance of taxes is the only pursuit that carries any reward. |
John Maynard Keynes |
English economist (1883 - 1946) |
| An income tax form is like a laundry list -- either way you lose your
shirt. |
Fred Allen |
US radio comedian (1894 - 1956) |
| There is just one thing I can
promise you about the outer-space program: your dollar will go further. |
Wernher Von Braun |
US (German-born) rocket engineer
(1912 - 1977) |
| The art of taxation consists in so
plucking the goose as to obtain the largest possible amount of feathers with the smallest amount of hissing. |
Jean Baptiste Colbert |
| Fashions are the only induced epidemics, proving that epidemics can be
induced by tradesmen. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| Advertising is the modern substitute
for argument; its function is to make the worse appear the better. |
George Santayana |
US (Spanish-born) philosopher
(1863 - 1952) |
| At age 50, every man has the face he deserves. |
George Orwell |
English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 - 1950) |
| I wonder how so insupportable a
thing as a bookseller was ever permitted to grow up in the Commonwealth. Many of our modern booksellers are but
needless excrements, or rather vermin. |
George Wither |
| It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities
without your help. |
Judith Martin, (Miss Manners) |
| Good taste is the worst vice ever invented. |
Dame Edith Sitwell |
| I am firm. You are obstinate. He is a pig-headed fool. |
Katharine Whitehorn |
| There are more pleasant things to do than beat up people. |
Muhammad Ali on the occasion of one of his retirements |
| Hurting people is my business. |
Sugar Ray Robinson |
| My toughest fight was with my first wife. |
Muhammad Ali |
US boxer (1942 - ) |
| The greatest good you can do for
another is not just share your riches, but to reveal to him his own. |
Benjamin Disraeli |
British politician (1804 - 1881) |
| A novel is a piece of prose of a certain length with something wrong with
it. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| In every fat book there is a thin book trying to get out. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| A big book is a big bore. |
Callimachus (c. 260 B.C.) |
| This book fills a much needed gap. |
Moses Hadas |
(1900 - 1966) |
| I have read your book and much like it. |
Moses Hadas |
(1900 - 1966) |
| Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end. |
Igor Stravinsky |
Russian composer in US (1882 -
1971) |
| Classical music is the kind we keep thinking will turn into a tune. |
Kin Hubbard |
(1868 - 1930) |
| Even Bach comes down to the basic suck, blow, suck, suck, blow. |
Mouth organist Larry Adler |
| Nothing gives one person so much
advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances. |
Thomas Jefferson |
3rd president of US (1743 - 1826) |
| I tried to resist his overtures, but
he plied me with symphonies, quartettes, chamber music, and cantatas. |
S.J. Perelman |
| Cogito ergo dim sum. (Therefore I think these are pork buns.) |
Robert Byrne |
| A family is but too often a commonwealth of malignants. |
Alexander Pope |
English poet & satirist (1688
- 1744) |
| Life is not so bad if you have plenty of luck, a good physique and not
too much imagination. |
Christopher Isherwood |
| I feel a very unusual sensation - if it is not indigestion, I think it
must be gratitude. |
Benjamin Disraeli |
British politician (1804 - 1881) |
| Solitude would be ideal if you could pick the people to avoid. |
Karl Kraus |
Austrian author and journalist
(1874 - 1936) |
| The fickleness of the women whom I
love is only equalled by the infernal constancy of the women who love me. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| Marriage is like paying an endless visit in your worst clothes. |
J.B. Priestley |
| God is love, but get it in writing. |
Gypsy Rose Lee |
US actress & stripper (1914 -
1970) |
| I believe that the power to make money is a gift from God. |
John D. Rockefeller |
US oil industrialist & philanthropist
(1839 - 1937) |
| Behind every great fortune there is a crime. |
Honore de Balzac |
French realist novelist (1799 -
1850) |
| A billion here, a billion there - pretty soon it adds up to real money. |
Senator Everett Dirksen |
US politician (1896 - 1969) |
| Money is good for bribing yourself through the inconveniences of life. |
Gottfried Reinhardt |
| A man ought to be able to be fond of his wife without making a fool of
himself about her. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| It takes a woman twenty years to
make a man of her son, and another woman twenty minutes to make a fool of him. |
Helen Rowland |
(1876 - 1950) |
| A man always remembers his first
love with special tenderness, but after that he begins to bunch them. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| Every law is an infraction of liberty. |
Jeremy Bentham |
| When men are pure, laws are useless; when men are corrupt, laws are
broken. |
Benjamin Disraeli |
British politician (1804 - 1881) |
| No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human
nature. |
A.A. Milne |
| I propose getting rid of
conventional armaments and replacing them with reasonably priced hydrogen bombs that would be distributed equally throughout
the world. |
Idi Amin |
| What luck for rulers that men do not think. |
Adolf Hitler |
German Nazi dictator, orator, & politician (1889 - 1945) |
| It is a mistake to speak of a bad
choice in love, since as soon as a choice exists, it can only be bad. |
Marcel Proust |
French novelist (1871 - 1922) |
| The only paradise is paradise lost. |
Marcel Proust |
French novelist (1871 - 1922) |
| Saints should always be judged guilty until they are proved innocent. |
George Orwell |
English essayist, novelist, & satirist (1903 - 1950) |
| Sigmund Freud was a half baked
Viennese quack. Our literature, culture, and the the films of Woody Allen would be better today if Freud had never
written a word. |
Ian Shoales |
| Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. |
Rodin |
French sculptor (1840 - 1917) |
| It is most unwise for people in love to marry |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| Love is an obsessive delusion that is cured by marriage. |
Dr. Karl Bowman |
| Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose
interest. |
Professor Irwin Corey |
American vaudeville comic and actor
(1914 - ) |
| I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. |
Sir Winston Churchill |
British politician (1874 - 1965) |
| Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life. |
George Bernard Shaw |
Irish dramatist & socialist
(1856 - 1950) |
| I have to think hard to name an interesting man who does not drink. |
Richard Burton |
| Decency...must be an even more
exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. |
Quentin Crisp |
| Sleep is an eight-hour peep show of infantile erotica. |
J.G. Ballard |
| Nice guys finish last, but we get to sleep in. |
Evan Davis |
| Never chase a lie. Let it alone, and it will run itself to death. |
Lyman Beecher |
US clergyman (1775 - 1863) |
| I married beneath me - all women do. |
Nancy Astor |
British politician (1879 - 1964) |
| The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television. |
Unknown |
Quotations by unknown authors |
| When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each
other. |
Eric Hoffer |
(1902 - 1983) |
| Imitation is the sincerest form of television. |
Fred Allen |
US radio comedian (1894 - 1956) |
| Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of
nothing. |
Redd Foxx |
US comedian (1922 - 1991) |
| I get my exercise acting as a pallbearer to my friends who exercise. |
Chauncey Depew |
| Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| This poem will never reach its destination. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| Difficulties are meant to rouse, not discourage. The human spirit is to
grow strong by conflict. |
William Ellery Channing |
US abolitionist & clergyman
(1780 - 1842) |
| May God defend me from my friends; I can defend myself from my enemies. |
Voltaire |
French author, humanist, rationalist, & satirist (1694 - 1778) |
| My mother loved children - she would have given anything if I had been
one. |
Groucho Marx |
US comedian with Marx Brothers
(1890 - 1977) |
| Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. |
Groucho Marx |
US comedian with Marx Brothers
(1890 - 1977) |
| Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. |
Georges Clemenceau |
French politician (1841 - 1929) |
| War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory. |
Georges Clemenceau |
French politician (1841 - 1929) |
| Being in the army is like being in
the Boy Scouts, except that the Boy Scouts have adult supervision. |
Blake Clark |
| The final delusion is the belief that one has lost all delusions. |
Maurice Chapelain |
| It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended
from man. |
H. L. Mencken |
US editor (1880 - 1956) |
| The reward of one duty is the power to fulfill another. |
George Eliot |
English novelist (1819 - 1880) |
| Philosophy is to the real world as masturbation is to sex. |
Karl Marx |
German economist & Communist political philosopher (1818 - 1883) |
| If only it was as easy to banish hunger by rubbing the belly as it is to
masturbate. |
Diogenes the Cynic (412 to 323 B.C.) |
| I was going to buy a copy of
"The Power of Positive Thinking", and then I thought: What the hell
good would that do? |
Ronnie Shakes |
