Book Review – Shut Up And Stay Married
By Sylvia Cochran
“Shut Up And Stay Married”
Shut Up And Stay Married
By Yisroel Roll
February 14, 2011
What do you get when a motivational speaker, lawyer, divorce mediator and psychotherapist – all rolled into one – writes a book on marriage relationships? A book entitled “Shut Up And Stay Married.” Author Yisroel Roll self-identifies as a “creative” psychotherapist, but I would go a little further and consider him a mastermind with a ‘hot air’ radar that would most likely put my sainted grandmother to shame.
Having seen the midst of divorce and its aftermath during his professional endeavors, he knows that a mere dissolution of marriage very rarely holds the answer to what is wrong in a relationship. Serially divorced and remarried Americans are sure to concur that not all of their spouses could have been the problems. Instead, the author identifies as the only constant in failing relationships … you.
“Shut Up And Stay Married” encourages the reader to take a long hard look at the body whose hand is pointing an accusing finger at a (supposedly) errant spouse, and then shut up. Yisroel Roll seeks to foster a sense of emotional independence in the reader, which encourages him or her to grow up and stop placing blame on a spouse for shortcomings, feelings of unfairness and empty spots that no human being could reasonably be expected to fill. The book also takes to task the amorphous concept of “love,” which is defined by books and TV, but which truly cannot be pigeonholed.
The author recognizes that married couples quickly develop a form of auto-piloted responses, which lead to predictable argument patterns and virtually inevitable discord. Breaking out of these patterns requires the development of a habit. If you give Yisroel Roll’s “Shut Up And Stay Married” a chance, there is a good chance that you will be able to put the brakes on a slipping marriage. No, it will not cure a bad marriage overnight; instead, it will enable you (the reader) to mature a bit. The latter, as you may imagine, is a “must” for any healthy marriage.
I highly recommend this book to any married couple — and also to parents of adolescents. (Go figure.)
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