Commitment: The Main Ingredient in a Relationship
Dr. Howard Peiper – Path to a Better Life
Anyone who has run a marathon knows about commitment. To compete, the athlete relies on extensive training and physical fitness. But when the enthusiasm wanes and the painful, long-distance realities grip the runner’s body, it is sheer dedication, commitment to competing what he started, that sustains the runner’s motivation as he reaches for the finish line.
A relationship is a lot like running a marathon. There are highs and lows, challenges and rewards, and times when we may want to give up, when it feels too difficult to continue. What will keep us on track and moving forward when our relationship hits the inevitable rough patch? Will love be enough?
Commitment is a belief in relationship permanence and the understanding that at times our union will need a life jacket to stay afloat. When we are committed to the relationship, the union remains more important then our individual needs. Without mutual commitment, deep trust will hardly ever take root and intimacy will wither. When one person’s commitment is tenuous, the very fabric of the relationship is weakened. A lack of commitment reduces the buffer that holds relationships together during times of conflict and stress. Imagine living with the fear that periodic slumps in our relationships can cause our partner to bail.
Trust and deep intimacy will only grow in the soil of commitment
Commitment has a dual role in our relationships. We can view commitment as the vehicle to help deepen our love, and we can also view it as a safety net of sorts, away to protect our marriage or relationship during the difficult periods that each and every relationship experiences. Commitment allows love and intimacy to mature over time. Someone who ends a relationship because the excitement of new love diminished misses out on the opportunities that relationships bring for individual and mutual growth.
Some erroneously believe that a commitment like “till death do us part” means foolishly locking ourselves into a lifetime of potential unhappiness. No one needs to commit to a relationship that cannot meet our needs. Our needs and our partners needs do matter and need to be part of the overall commitment equation. But life and relationships are complicated, and there are stretches of time when our partner does not meet our needs and we don’t meet our partner’s needs. Commitment is what will get us through those rough stretches, enabling each of us to get back on track in meeting each other’s needs once again.
All couples (married and unmarried) face an enormous challenge. How to stay devoted to one another throughout the life of our relationship, even when early enthusiasm and euphoria naturally wane.
… understanding that love grows and deepens over a lifetime
… acknowledging that all relationships go through ups and downs
… continuously working toward a meaningful relationship that will transcend momentary happiness
… finding solutions that will keep our relationship moving forward
… compromising (even when we think we’re right)
… working through problems with our partner (while resisting the temptation to get our needs met outside of the relationship
… ourselves and the relationship
One of the greatest challenges lies in the instant gratification mindset, the idea that we deserve to have what we want when we want it. The settings to our pleasure barometer have been altered and humans are less willing to deal with frustrating circumstances or anything that feels like it stands in the way of immediate happiness. This poses a problem for relationships. When we make decisions about our relationship based solely on the need to feel happy (all the time), we abandon commitment and the rich opportunities that are essential for our relationship to grow.
Howard, nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, has written numerous books on nutrition and natural health including 12 best sellers.
Create a Miracle with Hexagonal Water
New Hope for Serious Diseases
The A.D.D. & A.D.H. Diet
Zeolite Nature's Heavy Metal Detoxifier
Viral Immunity with Humic Acid
The Secrets of Staying Young
Nutritional Leverage For Great Golf
All Natural High Performance Diet
Natural Solutions For Sexual Enhancement
Super Nutrition for Dogs and Cats
Books can be ordered at:
Safe Goods Publishing.
Dr. Peiper is co-host of the award winning Television show, Partners in Healing. They feature guest in the alternative healing field including such names as Harvey Diamond, Dr. John Upledger, Dr. Bernard Jensen, Gary Null and Dr. Marshall Mandell.