Stress Relief on Mars and Venus
By Melodie Tucker
There is no doubt that these troubling times are causing more stress for everyone.
On top of the 'normal' stress of work, school, and home responsibilities, we are all now being constantly bombarded by negative news--in the papers, the TV, radio, and on the Internet.
Even if your family has personally escaped the current housing, employment, and financial crisis (so far!), chances are you're close to someone who has been severely affected.
Fear, worry, and anger pepper the gossip around the water coolers and coffee pots of America . Many businesses are reeling and most people are cutting back on spending and protecting their interests while searching for the light at the end of the tunnel.
It seems like we are powerless to stop the onslaught and we long for a safe haven at the end of day. Ah...Home Sweet Home! Or is it?
Stress causes the release of adrenaline and cortisol.
These are important hormones to help us in times of emergency or life-threatening situations, but a continuous flow (as many people experience from the consistent drama of modern life) is harmful and counteracts our 'feel-good' hormones.
So as we all seek relief from these 'stress' hormone rushes all day long, it's important to recognize how Martians and Venusians process and respond differently so we can best understand and support each other.
Research has proven that our brains, biology and hormones are hard-wired uniquely and these differences drive us in separate directions when faced with stress. Although our daily lives and roles have changed tremendously over the past 50 years, our bodies have not.
It's no wonder Mars and Venus collide!
When a man is stressed, his normal reaction is to withdraw to figure out solutions alone or if there is no solution, he simply will forget about the problems of his day. He often doesn't want to talk or do much until he has rested.
This is why he tends to come home and go right to the bathroom, turn on the computer or TV, or disappear into the garage or the basement...wherever his particular "Cave" happens to be.
Downtime to De-Stress
It's critical for him to have down time to rejuvenate and rebuild the testosterone levels that have been depleted over the course of his day.
Women under stress produce much more cortisol than men , so it's even more damaging. After she comes home after a long hard day, she tends to feel overwhelmed with all the things to do and unable to relax.
What she needs first is affection and a caring and empathetic ear to listen to her talk about what is on her mind. In fact, she must remember her problems before she can forget them . Sharing her emotions, feeling heard, validated and cherished allows the much-needed hormone oxytocin to be released in her body so she can let go and relax.
Understanding Each Other's Needs
Understanding these concepts lets couples learn how to relate better to each other, and negotiate strategies to make sure each person gets the stress relief they crave.
Especially during these tough times, it can be a harsh universe out there. Keep your 'Home Planet' radiating positive energy so it will remain the harbor for love and personal growth.
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Listen to an Interview
with Melodie Tucker
own journey to Mars Venus began during a particularly
"challenging" phase of my marriage. Searching for some help
and answers, I stumbled across Men Are from Mars, Women Are
from Venus, and my life has never been the same. After dog-earing
every Mars Venus book, I discovered the opportunity to share
this life-changing information with others. It was like a
thunderbolt, and I instantly knew relationship education was
my life's calling.
The most rewarding aspect of my Mars Venus career, though,
has been as a telephone coach with Ask Mars Venus and now
as a Success Coach with Mars Venus Coaching (
In the past 6 years as a coach, I've had the privilege
to work with hundreds of men and women from all over the world
with every imaginable relationship concern - including issues
on dating, commitment, marriage, infidelity, starting over
after a loss, parenting, workplace issues, and achieving personal