By Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT – Counselor’s Corner
When parents look at their baby for the very first time, dreams surely go through their mind that they want only the best in life for this new little life. And that is as it should be.
Somehow, as the little darling grows up, those dreams can turn to pain for the child if the parents are not careful. I’m thinking of a father in my private counseling practice who thinks his daughter is built perfect for weight lifting. He wants her to be an Olympic athlete. He also comments on her weight as he doesn’t want her to get overweight. She has absolutely no interest in lifting weights and has told him so numerous times. However, he continues with his wish for her and she has come to think that no matter what she does, she will never be good enough. Her self-esteem is very shaky.
And since Daddy doesn’t give her enough positive attention to make her feel competent, pretty, smart etc., she has sought that feedback in unacceptable ways from an older teen boy.
I truly think I had the perfect father! He was such a good man. From the time I was little I felt pretty, nice, kind and smart because he told me I was’and I believed him. Still do,although he died in 2004 which left a void in the world for me,but his words were consistent over my lifetime so they have stuck.
The opposite gender parent is the one who makes such an impact on how we allow ourselves to be treated by the opposite sex. Daddy never called me a name or put me down, so I’ve never allowed anyone to do that, can’t even imagine it happening. He gave me a solid sense that I am a worthy individual and a good person. I was corrected when needed and held responsible for my actions, but in a respectful manner.
I wish the same for your child, it’s all up to you!
Copyright © 2012, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.
Her popular book for teens, How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed., empowers kids to stand out,not just fit in!
A follow-up book for teens, When to Say Yes! And Make More Friends, shows adolescents how to select and meet quality friends and, in general, feel good for doing and being good.
Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun.Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble.