The Family Code — Real Advice for Real Life from the American Nanny
Real Advice For Real Life
Parenting Expert Advice from Author and America’s Nanny,
The Family Code
Whether spoken or unspoken, each family has a set of values, moral standards, religious beliefs and basic rules that govern how they live. The media that is allowed in the home, the toys that children are allowed to play with, the language that is used, and the treatment of family, friends and strangers are all governed by this underlying family code.
So if a family code is something that all families have, whether they know it or not, why is it important to acknowledge and formalize?Because if you don’t communicate your beliefs, values, standards and rules to your children, someone else will communicate theirs.
You see, your family code is truly your basic foundation.
It’s the basis for what you deem acceptable and unacceptable in your home. It’s the standard measure you apply when faced with making decisions that affect your family. It’s this code that determines how you view the world and is the same vision that you impart to your child.
And the great thing about your family code is that it’s about your family! It has nothing to do with your neighbors. It’s not about others being good or bad; it’s about what’s acceptable and what is not within your family unit. And we all know that kids repeat everything there parents say.
How much better would it be for your four year old to say “We don’t play with weapons in my house” than “My mom said kids who play with weapons are bad?” leaving you to look like the judgmental mother who thinks everyone else’s lifestyle is corrupt?
A family code allows you to govern your family under your principles without putting others down.
Now we all know that some things, across the board, are inherently wrong. Murder, child abuse, stealing. You get my drift. But other things, like what kids watch on television, bedtime routines and attitudes towards volunteer service are all personal choices.
They aren’t inherently right or wrong, but are deemed as acceptable or unacceptable for your family based on your families’ code. So when evaluating your foundation, take the following into consideration when communicating your family code.
- What television, video games, computer games and music are allowed into your home?
- What types of toys are acceptable to play with? (Toy weapon?, Violent pretend play?)
- Your spiritual foundation (Will you go to church? Pray together? Have evening devotionals?)
- Acceptable and unacceptable language (Are the kids allowed to tease? Call names? Swear?)
- Do you eat meals together at the table or individually in front of the TV?
- Will you give back to the community? (Volunteerism? Donate toys? Give money?)
You’ll find that whatever you choose to allow or not allow within the walls of your home is governed by your basic family code. Communicate this code through word and deed and you’ll instill a family compass in the heart of your child. And the great thing about a compass is that even when your kid gets lost, it will always lead them home.
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Michelle is an active member of the nanny community. She is the founder and president of Boston Area Nannies, Inc., a local non-profit educational organization and has served on the International Nanny Association Board of Directors.
She is called on by the media as a nanny and parenting expert and has been affectionately dubbed America's Nanny. Michelle has appeared on television and has been featured in print.
Podcast of Interview with
Books by Michelle LaRowe
A Mom's Ultimate Book of Lists: 100+ Lists to Save You Time, Money and Sanity - Grocery lists. Checklists. To-do lists. Lots of people love--and live by--lists. And parents are no exception. Today's families are busier than ever, and moms don't have the time or energy to search and scramble for the parenting information they are desperately seeking. This handy, practical reference guide will save time, money, and sanity for today's busy women.
Working Mom's 411 is your one-stop resource guide for navigating through the often choppy waters of managing kids, career and home.
Nanny to the Rescue - America's nanny offers a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced babies and toddlers.
Nanny To the Rescue Again - Faced with multiple choices regarding school, friends, and activities coupled with the ever-widening influence of the outside world, parents of 6-12-year-olds need help. America's nanny is back to offer a large dose of healthy parenting advice with secrets for raising happy, secure, and well-balanced children.
To learn more, visit www.michellelarowe.com
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