By Dr. Howard Peiper, N.D. –     

When it comes to finding friends, perhaps the first step is understanding what exactly a friend is. Does it mean we have each other in our Facebook list? Or that we see each other every Tuesday when we play racquetball? Not really. A relationship needs to have some key elements in order to be labeled as friendship.

It’s not enough to see a person once a week and enjoy their company. In order for a friend to truly be considered a friend, he or she has to also believe we are their friend also. Most people have a different idea of what a friend is. They are instantly trusting of new people, and accept them into their heart without question. For these folks, they assume someone is their friend until they find out otherwise.

Sacred Circle

The sacred circle of Friendship

Around the hearth so gathered.

As diverse as can be snowflakes,

Each person uniquely patterned.


We are family, self-chosen, yes,

And some may disagree.

Though we are the dreaming seekers,

We embrace Love’s humanity.


The laughter and the fellowship,

Of stories and traditions shared,

Mystic chords of Holy Being

The Sacred Present so declared.


And so it is, this Sacred Circle

Transient might it be.

The Trust of momentary Wholeness

The Heart is open, perfectly.


By Meg Cassell

Others, however, might act friendly with someone but not consider them a friend for quite a while. Perhaps these types of people need to get to know someone better before they even consider labeling them as a friend. Or, they already have a lot of friends and therefore wouldn’t consider someone they occasionally at social events a friend.

Someone who is genuinely a friend usually:

·      Has told us that we are a friend or has introduced us as their friend.

·      Has called or emailed us about meeting for coffee, lunch, etc.

·      Has done something nice for us.

·      Is sincerely interested when we talk about our life.

·      Roots for us and wants the best for us.

·      Is willing to hang out with us outside of the place we first met (work, social gathering)

·      Someone we can trust.

·      Someone who is loyal who would stick by us.

·      Someone who is honest with us.

It goes without saying that real friends make us feel good, as opposed to bringing us down. People who are genuinely our friend put our relationship above being right or trying to feel superior. If someone constantly puts us down, he or she is not a friend. If someone is really our friend, they act in a kind manner. They do nice things for us. Friends do not keep score, but there is a balance in the relationship. Sometimes one friend might be in the spotlight, while the other is cheering them on. Friends trade off giving each other the floor in a conversation and in life, and understand when the moment is their friend’s and not ours.

The other key component to being a friend is a real face-to-face relationship. This isn’t to say that after we have established a friendship, we can’t still be friends with them once they move away. However, in order to being a friend, we have to spend time with each other. While online friends can have a place in our life, they aren’t the same as a real friendship. If we need to qualify the definition of a friend in our life (my work friend, my Facebook friend), then chances are it isn’t a real friendship, but is instead a different type of relationship.




Dr. Howard Peiper

Dr. Howard  Peiper is a nationally recognized expert in the holistic counseling field. His healing, healthcare and natural professional credentials extend over a thirty year period and include those of naturopath, author, lecturer, magazine consultant, radio personality and host of a television show, Partners in Healing. Visit his website

Howard, nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, has written numerous books on nutrition and natural health including 12 best sellers.

Create a Miracle with Hexagonal Water
New Hope for Serious Diseases
The A.D.D. & A.D.H. Diet
Zeolite Nature's Heavy Metal Detoxifier
Viral Immunity with Humic Acid
The Secrets of Staying Young
Nutritional Leverage For Great Golf
All Natural High Performance Diet
Natural Solutions For Sexual Enhancement
Super Nutrition for Dogs and Cats

Books can be ordered at:
Safe Goods Publishing.

Dr. Peiper is co-host of the award winning Television show, Partners in Healing. They feature guest in the alternative healing field including such names as Harvey Diamond, Dr. John Upledger, Dr. Bernard Jensen, Gary Null and Dr. Marshall Mandell.

Dr. Howard Peiper

Latest posts by Dr. Howard Peiper (see all) Howard PeiperPath to a Better Life Holistic CounselingEmotional and Social Well-beingBy Dr. Howard Peiper, N.D. -      When it comes to finding friends, perhaps the first step is understanding what exactly a friend is. Does it mean we have each other in our Facebook list? Or that we see each other every Tuesday when we play...Parenting Advice| Family Fun Activities for Kids