What You Want When You Want It – Teaching Children to Share, Counselor’s Corner by Sharon Scott, LPC LMFT
What You Want When You Want It
By Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT
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A friend of mine was happily telling me about her new grandson. She commented that she was on her way to buy a gift for the new baby and also one for the baby’s brother. I asked if the baby’s brother had a birthday. She said that he didn’t but she felt he would feel left out if the baby got a present and he didn’t. This is where problems can begin in this counselor’s opinion.
Children need to learn that everyone has their special days and that doesn’t mean gifts for all. This helps to establish autonomy as well as teach sharing. We do our children a disservice when we don’t help them to understand the concept of taking turns,everyone’s time will come in time.
At certain developmental ages, children think the world revolves around them. We don’t help them to learn otherwise when we try to accommodate their every desire. Instead we can accidentally rear spoiled, selfish children.
My office is filled with parents who have learned this too late, what was cute and seemed innocent when their child was young has turned into an angry monster by the time they are teens.
Their children are demanding, self-centered and angry when they don’t get what they want when they want it. And then those teens, a few years later, marry and the problem of being so self-centered continues until the marriage may be beyond repair.
The phrase “No, it’s not your time/turn,” can be a healthy parental phrase! And at this time of the season, we can reflect and act on many ways to teach our children about sharing. I wish you a wonderful, peaceful holiday.
Copyright 2018, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.
Her popular book for teens, How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed., empowers kids to stand out,not just fit in!
A follow-up book for teens, When to Say Yes! And Make More Friends, shows adolescents how to select and meet quality friends and, in general, feel good for doing and being good.
Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun.Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble.
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