Male and Female Brains Really Are Different!
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT – Smile Notes – A few tips that might make your relationship easier.
An example, is when a man can’t find his keys (ketchup, glasses, etc.) and yells across the house to his wife, “Where did you put my xyz?” She replies exactly where it is. He says, “That’s where I’m looking and it’s NOT there.” She walks into the room and picks up the item exactly where she told him to look. Generally women have better peripheral vision and men more of a tunnel vision.
So just a few tips from a book by Barbara and Allan Pease titled .Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps: How We’re Different and What to Do About It(and my counseling practice experience) that might make your relationship easier:
1) Women–learn to ask for what you want and be specific. State it in a sentence and not a question2) Men–when you compliment a woman, add some specifics (color is great or style is attractive, etc.) This will make her feel more appreciated.
3) Women–when you are trying to resolve an argument with your spouse and he wants a break, give it to him. Women tend to “stir the pot,” and men don’t communicate that way. He probably needs time to mull over it and you can pick up the discussion later.
4) Men–when you disagree with a woman, it’s okay to tell her that; however, try not to talk in that ‘stern’ voice you may have. You can say the same thing in your normal voice.
5) Women–when you want a man to do something, make a direct request. When you get too wordy, it may confuse his thinking.
6) Men–realize when women are stressed, they generally talk a lot. All you have to do is listen and nod occasionally. She is probably not asking for solutions–and will get annoyed if you give them to her.
7) Women–quit asking men if the dress/pants/shorts etc. make you look big. He can’t win with that question plus you are capable of looking in the mirror!
8) Men–sometimes you suggest a date night and you get the sitter and make the other needed arrangements.
Just a few thoughts from a counselor who for 30 years has noticed these patterns! Happy Fall!
Copyright 2014, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author.
The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.
Her popular book for teens, How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed., empowers kids to stand out,not just fit in!
A follow-up book for teens, When to Say Yes! And Make More Friends, shows adolescents how to select and meet quality friends and, in general, feel good for doing and being good.
Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun.Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble.