The “In A Minute” Parent

By Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT

Listen to a Podcast with Sharon Scott

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During this holiday season when thoughts turn to giving, I’m thinking about the gifts parents give their children. Many parents give out of proportion to their income.

The credit cards come out to buy more, more, more to make their children happy. Even if the family has the funds, many children get too many gifts and so the perception of entitlement by the child begins.

I work with a lot of kids in my private counseling practice who expect the world to give them everything with little or no effort on their part. Sadly, these kids are angry and are not prepared for the adult world.

Recently the father of one of my clients, a teen girl, said he used to be the ‘in a minute guy.’ I asked what he meant. He said that before the family began counseling he used to say to his daughter and wife “in a minute” a lot. “Dad, could you help me with my math homework.” “In a minute.” “Hon, could you help me carry the groceries inside.” “In a minute.” He’s an avid sports fan and often has the TV on watching it. Or he might be concentrating on a project from work. The result was that even though his body was at home he wasn’t really there with his family.

I often have my clients write down how they would like to see the family improve. You know what the kids invariably list?  “I wish Dad would get off the computer.” “I wish Mommy would talk less on the cell phone.” “I would like us to do more stuff together.” “I want to talk more with my parents, but they’re always busy.

That’s the gift that we really need to give our children: more of our undivided attention to listen, play, laugh, talk, and love. And it doesn’t even cost a penny! Happy Holidays!

Copyright ©2018, Sharon Scott. No reproduction without written permission from author. Excerpted in part from Sharon’s classic parent guide: Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed. (HRD Press, 800-822-2801).(

 

Sharon Scott

Sharon Scott

Sharon is the author of eight award-winning books including four on the topic of peer to peer pressure.

The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal: An Adult Guide to Developing a Responsible Child, 2nd Ed.

Her popular book for teens, How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed., empowers kids to stand out,not just fit in!

A follow-up book for teens, When to Say Yes! And Make More Friends, shows adolescents how to select and meet quality friends and, in general, feel good for doing and being good.

Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and "co-authored" with her savvy cocker spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun.Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble.
Sharon Scott
Sharon ScottCounselor's CornerPeer PressureThe 'In A Minute' Parent By Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT Listen to a Podcast with Sharon ScottDuring this holiday season when thoughts turn to giving, I'm thinking about the gifts parents give their children. Many parents give out of proportion to their income.The credit cards come out to buy more, more,...Parenting Advice| Family Fun Activities for Kids