Mom, do you feel guilty spending money on yourself
Funny Stuff by Comedian Cheryl Moeller
Sure you do (and well you should) that’s why when…
…You want a manicure; you instead borrow your husband’s electric chainsaw.
…You want to go to a tanning salon; you instead wear old pantyhose over your arms and face.
…You want time to yourself at a spa; you instead go inside your walk-in closet, unfold a chase lawn chair, run the humidifier, and your youngest daughter blows bubbles in your direction.
…You want to take an art class; you instead go to the local railroad yard and watch gang members paint graffiti on boxcars.
…You want a trip through the Isles of Greece; you instead walk up and down the aisles of your supermarket where they sell Crisco (grease) shortening.
…You want to learn a foreign language; you instead spend your evenings calling bank card customer service agents who speak anything but English.
…You want a shawl made from domestic Alpacas; you instead brush the sofa for the cat’s hair several weeks until eventually you’re set to start crocheting.
…You want the red carpet treatment for Mother’s Day; you instead choose to leave the last three glasses of red Hawaiian punch your three year old spilled on the rug.
…You want your make-up to match your complexion season (summer, winter); you instead sprinkle paprika on your lips for that deep burnt orange look or beet juice for the color of late summer.
…You want a cruise to the Caribbean; you instead set your cruise control on 35 and drive to your local Jamba Juice.
…You want to smell of an exquisite earthy perfume; you instead you splash on a little Murphy’s Oil Soap before you do the floors.
…You want a new hairdo; you instead use the standard excuse line, "I'm growing my hair grow out."
…You want a three-headed shower complete experience; you instead shower with three garden hoses outside shaking dry like a dog.
Cheryl Moeller cranks up the spin cycle on her washing machine and life to help parents cope with too much laundry, raising preschoolers (on 12 hours of sleep per year), surviving teenagers, pleasing relatives, understanding spouses, and the 1,000 other challenges. She uses her over-the-counter humor to make parents laugh until it feels better.
Cheryl is a sister, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a niece, an aunt, a granddaughter, a friend, a volunteer... well you get the idea. Let.s just say she.s a lot like you and has decided the best way for us all to cope is to laugh (don't try to inhale at the same time, it only makes matters worse).
Cheryl is a wiife to Robert for 28 years. Mother to Duke, Missy, Pooka, Skippy, Megs and Kenzie. One dog - Katie. One fish - Skyler. Two gerbils - Hannah and Lily. Cheryl cranks up the spin cycle on her dryer and life to help parents cope with too much laundry, raising preschoolers (on 12 hours of sleep per year), surviving teenagers, pleasing relatives, understanding spouses, and the thousand other challenges. Read more of Cheryl's humor at www.momlaughs.blogspot.com
Latest posts by Cheryl Moeller (see all)
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