New Year Resolution Jokes
You know its time for a New Year's Resolution to Lose Weight when:
You step on a talking scale and it says, "One at a time, please!"
You're wearing a yellow suit and people two blocks away yell, "Taxi!"
You put on your Honda instead of getting into it.
It time to resolve to make more money when:
You were robbed, all the robber got was practice.
New Year Resolution to Get Healthy and Slow Down Aging:
I have a good memory. It's just short.
Jack Sprat could eat no fat, His wife could eat no lean. And so, you see, between them both, Their cholesterol averaged mean.