Your only friends are the clerks at the grocery store and the receptionist at your pediatrician.
Your dinner consists of leftovers taken off everyone else's plates.
You can change a toddler's diaper while he is doing cartwheels.
You add baby formula to the mashed potatoes to avoid going to the store for another gallon of milk.
You spend your birthday money on a kit to remove your own ear wax.
You have to get up at 3:00 Am to take a hot bath and actually enjoy talking to the floating plastic penguins your daughter left.
You celebrate finding the last clean diaper like most people celebrate finding a winning lottery ticket.
You aren't happy when your husband cleans out the car because you've now lost everything you own.
You do get a night out at a fine restaurant you still try and order spaghettios with meatballs.
You are happy if someone makes a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, for you.
You once lived on your couch for 24 hours without getting up.
You call your husband, dad, because, well, everyone else in the house does...
Your kids bounce, off the ceilings, instead of off the walls.
Your flip flops are both lefties and you can still chase your child down the driveway in less than 3.5 seconds.
You hear your daughter say, "When I grow up, I want to be a mother, only I'll think I'll still comb my hair."
Cheryl Moeller is the mother of six, a blogger, an author, comedian,
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