Pet Peeves Ruining Our Relationships?
Dr. Howard Peiper – Path to a Better Life
Personal pet peeves can be one of the most difficult things to overcome in any relationship we may find ourself in. Communicating our personal pet peeves to reach a common compromise in a relationship could possibly be even harder to accomplish when striving for contentment.
One of the most common reasons sharing our personal pet peeves with a partner/spouse is fear of arguments. Though something our partner/spouse may act upon can drive us crazy with anger, communicating our pet peeves can still be difficult because of the fear of how they may react. In most unusual cases, our partner/spouse may intentionally repeat the annoying pet peeve to annoy us further which in this case proves their lack of respect. It’s always better to communicate our pet peeves with our partner/spouse from the very beginning of the relationship.
Communicating our personal pet peeves with our parnter/spouse in the very beginning of the relationship helps enforce our dislikes especially when moving in together. There’s hardly anything more annoying when living with someone that is constantly annoying us eventually driving us away. When we communicate opur dislikes, this can prevent us from becoming annoyed with them and help prolong the relationship.
If hurting their feelings or causing an argument prevents us from communicating with our partner/spouse, there is always the good rule of thumb that we can with hold. That rule of thumb is ignore and try to look past our dislikes in them. Overlooking their bad habits, our pet peeves, can be just as healing for us as communicating our pet peeves with our spouse or partner.
Ignoring their bad habits can help us overlook them and eventually turn into us hardly noticing them. Although this can prove to be very helpful for those we run into these dilemmas, many pet peeves can bot be ignored or communicated. When communicating and ignoring their bad habits fails the only other option is avoiding the situation.
Avoiding the situation isn’t the best way to go because it prevents us from dealing with the problem and could lead to a break up with our partner/spouse. Though it may come down to avoiding putting ourselves in situations where we may become annoyed by our personal pet peeves, avoiding the problem only does one thing for our relaionships and that is create other problems.
If possible, it’s always better to communicate our personal feeling, pet peeve and thoughts with our partner/spouse as much as we can. Overlooking personal pet peeves can prove to be helpful in the long run but avoiding never should be the solution to any problems in our relationship. When our partner/spouse truly cares for us they will at the very least try to change their bad habits with basic communication on our part.
Here are some Do’s and Don’ts:
Do dissect our dissatisfactions. Learning to step back to understand what is 'so important' about the issues helps.
Don't let the bothers brew. The small stuff really can add up.
Don’t attack. Name calling is never beneficial.
Do focus on feelings, not facts. Use “I” language, not “you” language to avoid finger pointing.
Don’t downplay our partner’s pet peeve or tell them they’re being ridiculous.
Do give and take.
Don’t fall into gender stereotypes. Writing our own relationship rules will help pet peeves vanish.
Do divvy up household chores and childcare to avoid lingering resentments.
Don’t monitor each other’s personal purchases.
Do pick the right time to discuss pet peeves.
Don’t expect overnight changes.
Do focus on all the good things. Make a gratitude list.
Don’t let the pet peeves trump the partnership. They can only chip away at a relationship if we allow them to.
Howard, nominated for a Pulitzer Prize, has written numerous books on nutrition and natural health including 12 best sellers.
Create a Miracle with Hexagonal Water
New Hope for Serious Diseases
The A.D.D. & A.D.H. Diet
Zeolite Nature's Heavy Metal Detoxifier
Viral Immunity with Humic Acid
The Secrets of Staying Young
Nutritional Leverage For Great Golf
All Natural High Performance Diet
Natural Solutions For Sexual Enhancement
Super Nutrition for Dogs and Cats
Books can be ordered at:
Safe Goods Publishing.
Dr. Peiper is co-host of the award winning Television show, Partners in Healing. They feature guest in the alternative healing field including such names as Harvey Diamond, Dr. John Upledger, Dr. Bernard Jensen, Gary Null and Dr. Marshall Mandell.