So how do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem in a tough
environment? Here are some tips you may to consider as a starter guide
to self improvement.

Imagine yourself as a Dart Board. Everything and everyone else around
you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will
destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t
even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of
you.  So which dart pins should you avoid?

Dart Pin 1 : Negative Work Environment

Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else
is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people
usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you
miss lunch and dinner, and stay up late. Most of the time you get to
work too much without getting help from people concerned. 
Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at
stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy
competition that is.

Dart Pin 2: Other People’s Behavior

Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers,
snipers, people walking wounded, controllers, naggers, complainers,
exploders, patronizers, sluffers… all these kinds of people
will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self
improvement scheme.

Dart Pin 3: Changing Environment

You can’t be a green bug on a brown field. Changes challenge
our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the
way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause
stress but it will help us find ways to improve our selves. Change will
be there forever, we must be susceptible to it.

Dart Pin 4: Past Experience

It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we
experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into
fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each
failure and mistake as a lesson.

Dart Pin 5: Negative World View

Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself
up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we
must learn how to make the best out of worst situations.

Dart Pin 6: Determination Theory

The way you are and your behavioral traits is said to be a mixed end
product of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic),
and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company,
the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If
your father is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a
failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so
you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.

Sometimes, you may want to wonder if some people are born leaders or
positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a
choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is
a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from
heaven and tell you – “George, you may now have the
permission to build self esteem and improve your

In life, its hard to stay tough specially when things and people around
you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battle field, we should
choose the right luggage to bring and armors to use, and pick those
that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of more
options. Along the battle, we will get hit and bruised. And wearing a
bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The
kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self
Change  changes 3 things: our attitude, our behavior and our
way of thinking.

Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we
start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we
do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire
from inside and out. When we develop self esteem, we take control of
our mission, values and discipline.  Self esteem brings about
self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you
start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be
contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to
compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem,
your starter guide to self improvement.


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Diane Higgins

"Be your authentic self it's the path to success."-Psychologist Diane Higgins has authored numerous papers and has lectured extensively helping people find their authentic self, learn to be being purposeful and develop positive thinking. Diane is the author and/or editor of our Self Help Section. HigginsSelf HelpSelf HelpParenting Advice| Family Fun Activities for Kids