This time of the year we think of the number one. January' the first month of the year. New Year's Day' the first day of the month. Do you remember the hit song by Three Dog Night 'One is the Loneliest Number (that you'll ever do)?'
Actually I don't think one is a lonely number. In fact as a family counselor I encourage my clients to spend one on one time with each family member. First, you spend time with yourself to relax, rejuvenate, and renew yourself. It's important to have some time for self-reflection to bring order and harmony to the family.
If you are married, it's critically important that you also make the time for one on one time with your spouse so that the relationship can thrive. No kids nor friends'just the two of you! In my private counseling practice, I see far too many couples with seriously troubled marriages because what time they have is given completely to the children. They think they are wonderful parents. However, the marriage may be slowly dissolving and they may not even realize it. As time goes by, the husband and wife begin to live parallel lives'each doing their own thing'and slowly begin growing apart. Their once close friendship is waning and the marriage could be at risk.
And when there are children in the home, each child needs his or her special alone time with each parent (and not just when telling them goodnight). Family time is fun and important, but the kids don't need to be always together. For each child to feel special and unique, they must have some 'mommy and me' and 'daddy and me' time.
You may wonder where are you going to find this time? That's a very good question in this hurried world in which we all live. I don't have all the answers nor know your particular situation so you're going to have to brainstorm this yourself. But I do have a few suggestions which include:
P.S. You might be interested in reading my other column, The Counselor's Corner , concerning the importance of the "pause" in conversation in order to have a more verbal child.Copyright ©Sharon Scott, 2008. No reproduction without written permission from author.
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, has been making a difference in peoples' lives for 30 years though her international keynotes and workshops, her eight award-winning books, and her private counseling services. Five of her books are a charming series for elementary-age children that she 'co-authored' with her savvy Cocker Spaniel Nicholas. Each beautifully illustrated book teaches a valuable living skill such as managing emotions in Life's Not Always Fair, building character in Nicholas' Values, and making wise choices in Too Smart for Trouble. Sharon's best-seller for teens is How to Say No and Keep Your Friends, 2nd Ed. Her books are available from HRD Press, 800-822-2801.
Sharon Scott, LPC, LMFT, is an internationally recognized family counselor with a private practice in north Texas. She is considered the leading expert on peer pressure having trained more than one million people across the U.S. and in Australia, Canada, Switzerland, South Africa, Spain, Malaysia, the Philippines, Turkey, and Micronesia in her proven techniques. For information on bringing Sharon to your community or school to present one of her 29 dynamic workshops for children, teens, parents, or educators, please see her website
Listen to Families Online Radio Interview with Sharon Scott Books That Work!
By Sharon Scott
Sharon is the author of eight award-winning books including four on the topic of peer pressure.
The guide for parents/educators on how to peer-proof children and teens is Peer Pressure Reversal
|Her popular book for teens,How to Say No and Keep Your Friends|
|Sharon also has a charming series of five books for elementary-age children each teaching an important living skill and 'co-authored' with her savvy Cocker Spaniel Nicholas who makes the learning fun. Their book on managing elementary-age peer pressure is titled Too Smart for Trouble