Talk to me Please….maybe not
Communicating with grown children is challenging and changes over time. When they are in their late teens and early 20’s the discussions are more about them trying to get something…..money, the car, use of the credit card, co-signing on a loan, etc. Apparently they feel obliged to tell their parents what’s happening in their life, even if it is well filtered, to create a sense that all is well so you will give them……
As time progresses and the enter the late 20’s and 30’s and they are more self sufficient ( thank goodness) the conversation often becomes more difficult. This is especially the case with sons who are notorious for one word answers. You say, “How are things”. They say, “OK”. Daughters tend to be more prolific and talk about everything the new curtains, apartment furnishings, co-workers….
My mistake has been trying to get them to talk to me when they obviously don’t want to, will I never learn. The more I try to pull out what’s happening…. So what’s new at work? I ask. The more they monosyllable the answers. The more frustrated I become the more I ask. This can turn ugly and hurtful, Ouch! So don’t talk to me, Ok.
Occasionally much to my surprise they are actually talkative these fine grown up men, I guess sometimes it’s Ok to talk to mom or Dad.
My long term solutions: I’m send emails more often now and soon I guess I’ll have to learn texting. The best is video conferencing via the computer with the grandkids when they are old enough you don’t even need their parents for that!