Parenting Books: Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility, Parenting By the Book Reviews
Parenting by the Book
by Sylvia Cochran
Book Reviews: Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility
Today’s featured book is written by parenting advice veterans Foster Cline, M.D. and Jim Fay. The book (ISBN 0-89109-311-7) is entitled Parenting with Love and Logic: Teaching Children Responsibility.
As a parent, you know that as soon as the little ones learn how to talk, phrases such as “it’s not fair!”, “but Jimmy’s mom lets him ”, “awww – pleeeeeaaaase!?!?!?” seem to become standards of the vocabulary. Once the little ones are not so little anymore, they may even add such hurtful phrases as “I hate you!” or “you love xyz more than you love me!”
Usually, these outbursts follow attempts by mom and dad to lay down the law, enforce the boundaries set, or mete out some much needed discipline. Parents generally respond to such verbal offerings with anger, frustration, and sometimes even corporal punishment. The authors understand the never-ending dance that appears to be taking place between the parties. They empathize with your struggle, as the pendulum swings back and forth between strong emotions on the sides of the parents and then the sides of the kids, with only being in harmony – or centered – for the briefest period of time. Yet they are here to tell you that your home and household does not have to run like this, and that you can save yourself and your children a lot of grief by parenting with love but also logic!
Sure, you may now wonder how a simple book can end the generational struggle in your household. After all, you love your children and at the same time, you know you have a pretty good head on your shoulders. So what possible revelations will this book be able to offer you? Incidentally, I thought the same thing when I first opened the book. The more I read, however, the more I was convinced that this parenting style was not for me – after all, if you don’t parent authoritatively, then why be bothered, right? Wrong! All these doubts evaporated when I began using the techniques offered by the writers and saw them work in real life! Applying consequences in such a manner that they seamlessly connect action (on the part of the child) with the reaction (positive or negative consequence) has taken me – the parent – out of the punishment business. Instead, the child is now directly experiencing consequences in such a way that anger is no longer directed at me (as the parent doling out the consequence) but that frustration is directed at the child’s choices themselves, and so the child – in essence – disciplines itself!
This is an excellent book, and if you are ready to have everything you ever learned about parenting turned on its head only to find a much more workable solution that will decrease parent-child battles significantly, you will want to add this book to your library quickly! Very highly recommended!
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