Work at Home Moms When Calgon Isn’t Enough
by Alana Morales
As a mom, I always got a kick out of the old Calgon commercials. They would show a woman with great skin and no bags under her eyes and the audience was supposed to believe that she had enough troubles that she needed to “get away.” Then she would draw herself a bath and calmly get in and somehow her troubles slipped away.
How unrealistic. First of all, if this woman had been a mom, there is no way she would have been able to draw a bath without being disturbed unless it was after 10 pm. Then she would get in the bath, but still be tense because even though she was supposed to be relaxing, she was instead thinking about the child who might be sick, the bills that needed to be paid or the work she needed to get done.
Once the mom finally did begin to relax, she would run the risk of drowning because she fell asleep in the bathtub.
I would like someone to develop a realistic way for women to get some relaxation that easy. Maybe we could use the dust from Harry Potter and instantly transport ourselves to a peaceful place. If we had the time stopper, we could go to a peaceful place and be back without losing any precious time.
How big would a realistic bottle of Calgon have to be to actually take our problems away? Would we have to use so much that we would be floating in a tub full of goo? On second thought, that wouldn’t be very relaxing because we would be too worried about the mess the goo would make.
Maybe you have to combine the Calgon with a certain “organic” shampoo and conditioner? The women in those commercials always look refreshed (or is it flushed)? Would you then be using a double strength shot of stress relief?
I can see the beginning of an entrepreneurial venture here. Someone could work to make a product like Calgon, but in industrial strength. Once they develop that, they need to work double time to make it available in inhaler form. Then, when you are running late and trying to get out the door and one of the kids spills an entire box of cereal on the floor while the other one smashes it into the tile grout, moms could just take a puff of their “stress be gone” inhaler and not have any worries.
Until then, moms will have to be content with pretending to be taken away by our baths. Right now, it’s a much better alternative then being taken away by two guys in white coats.
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