Wife Mother Professional You Can Do It!
By Jordan Arey –
If you find yourself struggling to juggle your family privileges, work obligations, and other duties from one day to the next, don’t worry. You’re not alone. Ours is a time when many women find themselves in a situation where hearth and home are forced to share time with profession. This lot falls to many out of sheer necessity, and for those women who find themselves faced with such a landscape, it’s important to remember: you can do it, and my interview with Mykklyn Unga offers a perfect example of how.
– Mykklyn’s Story –
Mykklyn Stanzione Unga’s story is one like so many others. And really, this is what makes it powerful, because while telling her story, we find ourselves relating to the stories of countless other working mothers and wives.
As a father to four dear children of my own, I witness on a daily basis the zeal, love, and determination that my wonderful wife shows as a mother.
After my conversation with Mykklyn, it was clear to me that she was very similar to my own cherished wife. Her perspective on life and priorities is so crisp and clear that it’s simply refreshing. Take a moment to read my interview with Mykklyn, and you’ll see what I mean.
Q: Mykklyn, what would you say is the greatest challenge you face as a mother today?
A: Trying to juggle it all. I often feel like there isn’t enough of me to go around, you know? When I get home from work each day, I have to make time to clean, cook, go grocery shopping on occasion, and of course, spend meaningful time with my daughter. It’s hard to be away for seven to eight hours a day, and some moms are gone even longer. When I get home, I feel like I’m playing catch up on all the things I missed while I was at work.
With that said, all this isn’t what’s most difficult for me. Frankly, the most difficult part is simply being away from my daughter. I miss my husband just as much, but he can take care of himself. My daughter on the other hand, well, she needs me. I struggle with the fact that I have to spend so much time away from being a mother.
Q: Did you ever think you’d be a working mom?
A: Actually, I wouldn’t say that I ever thought I would. My current circumstances don’t surprise me, but I also never pondered on it turning out this way. It was only three years ago that I was a professional dancer in New York. I attended a very prestigious school, and I was dancing among stars at the top of the echelon. At that time, I had no plans to get married right away or to start having kids once I did. I was just living for myself and my career as a dancer. But even though everything seemed to be going my way, I wasn’t happy.
Life began to crumble from the inside out. I found myself asking: do I want to be famous, or do I want to be happy. It was a very real opposite for me. If I were to go on living the life I was, I knew I wasn’t going to be truly happy. So I made a decision. I decided to put dance behind me and move back home to Utah, and what an important decision that was. I made the change in a matter of a week, and as a result, life took a drastic turn for the better. After only two months of returning to college, I met my husband. We knew we were going to get married after our first date, but we dated for two years before we actually did.
Then, once we were married, I just knew we were going to have kids right away. I’m not sure why, because we didn’t plan to have kids right away. In fact, we even planned not to. But two months after being married, I was pregnant with our precious little miracle, Malia. It all happened that fast. I remember how on our one-year anniversary we gave Malia her first bath.
Q: Tell me, what’s it like, being a mom?
A: It’s the best and scariest thing, all at the same time. I have never felt so much love and pain, except toward my husband, of course. I’m always worrying about my daughter. I want what’s best for her. I’ve just come to realize that I will never stop being a parent, even when she’s older, even after she’s moved out of the house and had kids of her own.
Being a mother has changed my perspective on life. I see everything different now. Being a parent affects how you see the world, how you see people. It affects the way you watch TV, the way you read books, everything. It enhances your perspective on life in a way that nothing else can.
Q: So is it worth it all, all the commitment, all the stress of being a mom? (Mykkyln didn’t even want to let me finish this question before she gave me the answer.)
A: Absolutely! My daughter is worth everything I put into, or could ever put into, being her mother. Some people say you shouldn’t postpone marriage for other pursuits. They say that you shouldn’t wait until you’re finished with school, have all the financial security you want, or fulfill all your personal ambitions before having kids either.
Well, now I know why they say that. Because I have never learned so much or felt such joy as I have from being a wife and mother. It’s worth everything I put into it and more. When you’re on your own, you’re just living for you, with all your own wants and needs in mind. But once you’re married and have kids, you start putting others needs an wants above your own. And frankly, it’s the only way to really be as happy as we can be.
Sometimes I just feel so stretched, working, being away from home, and then coming home and trying to catch up on everything I missed during the day. Yet it’s worth it. For my family, it’s worth it all.
Q:What advice would you have for working mothers, those in similar circumstances as yours?
A: Don’t get down on yourself. Pat yourself on the back. What we do is hard. Hang in there. You’re not alone. Remind yourself that working hard shows your kids how much you love them. Pep talk yourself to get through the day. Stay positive and grateful. There’s always something to be grateful for. Having an attitude of gratitude always helps us to see life at its brightest.
Don’t let stress get the better of you. Managing stress can be really difficult, but managing it well is so necessary. You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to do your best. Remember, you’re not Superwoman, you’re something much more important. You’re a mother.
Q: Tell me a little more about your profession. Why did you decide to do what you do?
A: Not long ago, I was contemplating going back to teaching dance, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore. It wasn’t really a path I wanted my daughter to take either. I thought a lot about what I wanted for my family and how I was going to help get them there.
With all this in mind, I pursued my brokers” license. Helping people create financial stability for themselves and their families is a rewarding pursuit for me.
When my daughter was born, my husband and I immediately began thinking about our current situation. We starting thinking about financial security, insurance, savings, everything related to caring for our family. Thing is, I take that perspective with me to work every single day. I look at what I do for my clients and always ask myself: am I helping them and their families in the best way possible?
I want to make a positive difference for the people I serve in my profession. I want to help others in my same situation. So that’s why I do what I do, and I’m glad I’ve been able to help those I have. I feel motivated every day to keep fighting the good fight. Because in the end, I don’t feel like I’m doing it just for me and my family anymore. I feel as though I’m doing it to help so many others too.
Reassurance for the Working Mom
The world of professionals today has certainly been blessed in innumerable ways by the presence of hard-working mothers. While many would prefer to remain home full-time and live under the ideal they strive for, they answer the call to help provide for their families with courage and determination. My hope is that this short interview with Mykklyn offers other mothers the reassurance and support needed to continue in their noble and rewarding pursuit. My hat’s off to all of you out there who have to balance so much.
More about Mykkyln
Mykklyn Unga and her husband work as financial planners and insurance brokers for R & R Group, Inc., located in South Ogden, Utah.
For more information about Mykklyn and Spencer visit www.financeyourworld.com.
Ms. Jensen is a leading advocate for families and children and was the founder and president of ACES, The Association for Children for Enforcement of Support.
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